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OBAMAPOCALYPSE NOW

What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

It has always been sensible for good citizens to own and carry firearms for lawful protection against violent criminals who prey on decent people.

During the second Obama term, however, additional threats are growing. Latin American drug gangs have invaded every city of significant size in the United States. Phoenix is already one of the kidnapping capitals of the world, and though the states on the U.S./Mexico border may be the first places in the nation to suffer from cartel violence, by no means are they the last.

Obama came to power, and Colombian drug lords were like fuck yeah, let’s head north, because El Homey is in the White House, and the streets of LA are ours now.

This never would have happened if Ronald Reagan had been president. There were no Latin American drug gangs in the 80s. Nobody even did cocaine until Obama was inaugurated with one hand on a tabletop mirror and the other on a Bible used by Pablo Escobar.

After Hurricane Sandy, we saw the hellish world that the gun prohibitionists see as their utopia. Looters ran wild in south Brooklyn. There was no food, water or electricity. And if you wanted to walk several miles to get supplies, you better get back before dark, or you might not get home at all.

Okay, there were like 12 cases of looting, which is just as many cases of looting as there were on any other given day in New York. It’s a big city. Increase the number of people in a place, and you increase the percentage of them who will be scumbags when something shitty happens. Arming the ones who are just morons doesn’t help that.

Meanwhile, President Obama is leading this country to financial ruin, borrowing over a trillion dollars a year for phony “stimulus” spending and other payoffs for his political cronies. Nobody knows if or when the fiscal collapse will come, but if the country is broke, there likely won’t be enough money to pay for police protection. And the American people know it.

So Obama is deliberately starving the states of funds to ensure police protection, so that when the apocalypse comes, he can grab everyone’s guns, without … the police to stop him? Or something?

And if nobody knows when the fiscal collapse will come, then why is it imminent?

Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face—not just maybe. It’s not paranoia to buy a gun.

No, but it is paranoia to think a gun can protect you from a tornado. Or from a terrorist attack, for that matter. What were the office workers in the Twin Towers supposed to do that morning? Shoot down a 747 with a .22 or a deer shotgun? Just because it worked for John McClane …

Fucknut name-checks some gun stores, all of which I’m sure are generous contributors to his cause, and then goes into full-on self-inflicted martyrdom:

Inevitably, the anti-gun media and the gun-ban lobbies are demonizing the purchase of firearms. They call us “extremists” because we wonder whether we will be able to buy a semi-auto in three years or, even in some states, later this year. That’s despite the fact that President Obama long ago made clear that he wants to ban them all!

No, pet, they call you an idiot because you wonder if you’ll be able to buy a semi-auto in three years, when Obama clearly can’t get a bill praising LOLcats passed in Congress. You really think your guns are going anywhere?

The media try to make rank-and-file Americans feel guilty about buying a gun. The enemies of freedom demonize gun buyers and portray us as social lepers. But we know the truth. We know that responsible gun ownership exemplifies what is good and right about America.

Responsible gun ownership exemplifies that you have purchased a gun and are not stupid with it. It does not say shit about “America.” America does not care. You’re the one humping a bald eagle on Liberty Island and trying to make it all about you.

The NRA is launching a nationwide, full-court initiative to urge every gun owner, and every non-gun-owning lover of freedom, to join the NRA and fight this battle. I will personally be traveling all over America enlisting new members.

I can hear your PR firm firing itself from here.

We don’t want America to become like England, where some of that nation’s outstanding rifle competitors keep their hobby a dark secret from their neighbors for fear of social disapproval.

A dark secret.A very well-kept one, too.

We will not surrender. We will not appease. We will buy more guns than ever. We will use them for sport and lawful self-defense more than ever.

We will fight them on the beaches, and the check-out lines at Wal-Mart! We will buy shit, that’s his rallying cry. We will buy some stuff. We will shop until we drop … you, from 40 paces, at dawn.

What a goddamn tool.

A.

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