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In Which Yet Another Newspaper Fucks That Chicken

Oregonian, what on earth.

This line in the Oregonian’s announcement confused me and others, and led me to believe that the paper will be delivered three days a week, with the Saturday paper delivered on Sunday: “Home delivery will be Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday, and include the Saturday edition as a bonus.” I called publisher Chris Anderson and he said the paper will be delivered to homes four days a week.BUT… this is what his announcement says: “Those home delivery subscribers that choose the three-day subscription option will also have access to a digital edition seven days a week.”

Will somebody please inform the corporate weasel-speak writers of the world that EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS THE INTERNET IS ALWAYS ON? A digital edition seven days a week? You mean you don’t unplug this thing at dusk? Well, slap my ass, Irma, we’s gonna read us an Internet on Sundays, too!

A.

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