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Insult Comedian, Banana Republican

Looming Trump
Photograph by Rick Wilking/Reuters

Donald Trump writes his own rulebook on the fly, making it up as he goes. A fundamental American principle is that we defeat leaders we disagree with at the ballot box. This principle came under attack by the so-called Arkansas Project during the first Clinton administration as his foes tried to beat him by hook or by crook; mostly the latter. Bill Clinton’s enemies at least had the sense to try to disguise their desire to not only bring him down but see him behind bars. Donald Trump is a wounded and cornered masturbating chimp without a lick of sense so he openly went there last night in St. Louis:

“If I win,” said Trump, “I’m going to instruct the attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation because there’s never been so many lies, so much deception.” He continued: “[W]e’re going to get a special prosecutor because people have been, their lives have been destroyed for doing one fifth of what you’ve done.” And when Clinton gave her response—“It’s just awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law of our country”

“Because you’d be in jail,” he added.

Trump talked a lot of trash during the Slog in St. Louis. It’s what he does. It’s why I call him the Insult Comedian. But this was beyond the pale, it’s something you’d expect to hear from dead dictators like the Somoza dynasty of Nicaragua. They were the original banana republicans. It’s one reason Charlie Pierce calls Trump, El Caudillo del Mar-A-Lago.

It’s another example of Trump’s utter lack of self control: Presidents aren’t supposed to be their own hatchet men, they leave the dirty work to the help. Roger Stone is big on jailing his enemies, Trump should leave it to the master ratfucker and the likes of Breitbart Dude and David Bossie. Even Tricky Dick let others throw his mud when he was the Oval One. Once again, Trump proves that he’s worse than Nixon.

The more I see of Trump’s Mussolini poses and tacky theatrics, the happier I am that I have suspended Godwin’s Law for the duration of this campaign. Threatening to jail your opponent is what dictators do, not American Presidents. Doing so openly is not only beastly and fascistic, it’s deeply stupid. It proves that Trump knows he’s losing and will never be the first Insult Comedian elected President.

Watching Trump’s demeanor and feeble attempts to physically intimidate Hillary Clinton during the St. Louis debate reminds me of something Gore Vidal said of William F. Buckley in 1968, that he was “Hitler without the charm.”

One cannot top the Master but Trump is even more devoid of charm. And unlike Hitler, he hates dogs, which was that mass murderer’s sole redeeming characteristic. I’ll give Keith Olbermann the last word with this hilarious discussion of Trump’s weird obsession with canine imagery:

Instant Update: Trump’s lying campaign manager whose title is itself a lie has chimed in,

“In an offhand moment, he said she would be in jail if he became president. Does he stand by that this morning, that Hillary Clinton would be in jail if he were president?” Willie Geist, host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” asked Kellyanne Conway on Monday.

“That was a quip,” Conway replied. “And I saw in NBC’s own reporting, it was referred to as a ‘quip,’ so I’ll go with NBC on it.”

Just a quip? After months of his supporters chanting “lock her up?” This is the best they can do? Oy just oy.

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