I’ve been blogging for 18 years, so I’m always searching for new ways to write about what I write about. Am I right?
I’m not up to writing a long post to kick off the week, so I’m trying something new and borrowing a phrase from the world of basketball. Consider it my backhand tribute to March Madness.
In basketball, a quick hitter is a play with one pass and one or two cuts designed to get your shooter an open, quick shot. This post is my feeble attempt to run a literary motion offense and score some quick baskets. I realize the featured image of Shecky Greene in a pugilistic pose sends a mixed message but I’m a crazy mixed-up kid after being sick for over a month.
I’ll start each segment off with a title then attempt to score with a pungent-n-pertinent point in one paragraph. Let’s give it a shot.
Stoned Rats? We have a new police chief in New Orleans, Anne Kirkpatrick, who looks like my third grade teacher. She made national news last week by saying rats had infested the evidence room and were high from eating marijuana. It’s a funny line but inaccurate: raw pot requires fire to have the desired effect. No stoned soul picnic for the evidence room rats:
Judge Shopping: The Judicial Conference came out against judge shopping. It’s unclear what mechanism they’ll use to end it but it’s clear why they’ve made the move: that nutty Trumper judge in Amarillo who gets all the culture war cases. Amarillo is not exactly the center of the legal universe even if your mama told you to shop around:
Take A Load Off Fani? Some lawyers I respect have called for Fani Willis to recuse herself from the Georgia RICO case. Others think she should stay on because she’s been smeared for her race and gender. There’s merit to both arguments. I’m in a third camp. Her judgment is the problem: Nathan Wade is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer or election law expert. That’s not the profile of someone who should be the lead prosecutor on an election fraud case involving a former president. Wade should never have been appointed in the first place.
I’ve been hoping to use that line from The Weight ever since Fani Willis became a national figure. This calls for a live version by The Band:
Swan Song: I’m going to miss Feud: Capote vs. The Swans. It featured some of our finest actresses as well as some vintage hairdos that one rarely sees anywhere except onstage at a B-52’s concert. Speaking of the B-52’s, Truman Capote was so broke at the end of his life that this song would have been a swell alternate title:
I seem to have punched myself out for the moment. It’s hard being a sick Shecky but what can I do?
I neglected to post a swan song at the conclusion of the Swan Song segment, so I feel obligated to do so now. The last word goes to the Bee Gees:
