New Orleans has always attracted its share of weirdos, some famous, some just weird. Some of these weirdos get in trouble during Carnival. And that is why Shia LaBeouf is malaka of the week.
The R Bar is a joint on Royal Street in Faubourg Marigny. I’ve done my time there. It’s a friendly establishment, not known for pugilistic patrons but shit happens on Fat Tuesday, especially if one has been day drinking. That seems to have been the case with LaBeouf who appears to be the worst kind of drunk, a mean one.
“The actor Shia LaBeouf allegedly aimed homophobic slurs at two men – one who identifies as queer and the other who dresses in drag – as the Transformers star was arrested for purportedly battering them at a bar early on Tuesday morning in New Orleans, the victims said.
Jeffrey Damnit – who was born with the last name Klein and was listed as one of the victims by New Orleans police – said in an interview on Wednesday that he was wearing mascara, eye shadow and lipstick when LaBeouf tried to beat him up “while screaming, ‘You’re a fucking faggot’”. He also shared a cellphone video showing LaBeouf in the back of a vehicle being examined by first responders, glancing over at Damnit and saying: “Faggot.”
“Keep on calling me faggot,” Damnit can be heard saying on the video.”
Did you say video, damnit?
After this public punch-up, Malaka Shia was booked on two counts of battery. He was bailed out of jail on Ash Wednesday and is expected in court later today.
Apparently, this wasn’t LaBeouf’s only act of egregious Carnival malakatude: He had minor altercations on the Bacchus parade route as well as at some other local watering holes. Water is clearly not his beverage of choice. The show biz malakatude, it burns.
I live in New Orleans, so I dig drag queens and I’m tolerant of public drunkenness. BUT I’m intolerant of mean and homophobic drunks who cannot hold their liquor. That sort of drunk invariably hurts either themselves or someone else. Come on down, Transformers star Shia LaBeouf.
The Marigny street fight is not the first violent incident involving the actor. He’s clearly a hazard when soused but a malaka all the time. Perhaps he’s bitter because he’s best known for being in the fakakta Transformers movies. Being upstaged by souped-up toys can’t be what he envisioned when he entered show biz.
It appears that LaBeouf owns a house on Laurel Street 7 blocks from Adrastos World HQ and lives in New Orleans part time. He’s been spotted Uptown on Magazine Street:
Malaka Shia obviously didn’t get the memo that New Orleanians don’t dig the San Francisco 49ers. There’s still residual sports hatred among Saints fans for the 49ers dominance when both teams were in the NFC West. I somehow doubt Shia gives a shit. Maybe he does when he’s sober. Beats the hell outta me.
One more oddity of LaBeouf’s Uptown residency is this headline on NOLA.com: Bourbon Street, jail, Uptown mansion: Shia LaBeouf’s wild week causes a stir in New Orleans.
Most of the headline is accurate but there aren’t any mansions on that block of Laurel Street. Our neighborhood didn’t flood after Katrina, so houses are expensive. If the house linked to by the Picayune is Shia’s crib, he paid a cool million. Make that overpaid.
The folks at the Picayune should know that a 2600 square foot house isn’t a mansion. The media malakatude, it burns.
New Orleanians tend to leave celebrities alone when we see them out and about. It’s considered uncool to approach them while off duty so to speak. Apparently, it’s unsafe to approach the Transformers actor when he’s in the bag. And that is why Shia LaBeouf is malaka of the week.
The last word goes to the Iceman DBA Albert Collins:
