It’s been a tough month. In addition to the passing of Tommy T, my post-Katrina comrade in arms Craig Giesecke died last week. He was a true renaissance man: journalist, sailor, chef, blogger, and self-described fallen aristocrat. He will be missed.
My colleague Cassandra’s beloved 88-year-old father also died last week. Our sincerest condolences to Cassandra and her family. As a result, she’s taking this week off from First Draft.
Let’s turn our attention to our central national dilemma: What comes after MAGA’s attempted assassination of democracy, decency, and all the D words; damn them. Tremendous damage has been inflicted by the incompetent fools running the government. Destruction is their jam. Nihilism is their game.
Team Trump destroyed my dad’s Republican party years ago. The current GOP isn’t worth saving. It will survive but it needs to be taken down a peg after they’ve pegged the country, an inelegant but accurate image. In a word: Gross.
The physical damage wrought by the Kaiser of Chaos and his minions is substantial. Every time I see images of the White House grounds I hear this venerable blues song:
Ballrooms can be torn down, reflecting pools can be repaired, gold shit can be removed from the Oval Office walls. The psychic scars caused by Trump 2.0 won’t disappear as easily. Our democracy has been threatened, our alliances shattered, all because of the whims of a small, petty, and stupid man.
The second Trump administration declared war on our country in the name of disruption for its own sake. The Kaiser of Chaos is like a petulant child pulling the tails off lizards just for the hell of it. If that’s disruption, I want no part of it. Nobody should.
The murders of Alex Pretti and Rene Good were the beginning of the end of Project Dictator. The lies told immediately after their deaths were plausible only to right-wing extremists and influencers. I hate the idea of influencers and refuse to be influenced by them.
I have a few constructive ideas for how we crawl out of the wreckage. I wrote about Supreme Court reform last week. Some have expressed skepticism as to how well expanding the Court will work. I get it but the Court’s cage needs rattling. Alito and Thomas need to learn that there are consequences for their arrogance and corruption. FDR’s court packing plan failed but it caused the Supremes to end their relentless assault on the New Deal. In the immortal words of Joe Biden, “That’s a big fucking deal.”
I am officially stealing an idea from MAGA renegade Thomas Massie: Impeach cabinet secretaries, not Trump. The Trump impeachments backfired after the senate failed to convict him. He spun the impeachments to obtain sympathy from his aggrieved followers. Bill Clinton did much the same after his own impeachment ordeal.
The list of cabinet secretaries deserving impeachment is extensive. Pete Hegseth heads the list. He’s a bad joke played on us by MAGA. He’s a racist and sexist Christian nationalist who only cares about culture war issues. Like his boss, he seems bored with the Iran War. Impeach the motherfucker.
Todd Blanche is responsible for vindictive prosecutions and the Epstein Files coverup. He may be the worst cabinet member of all. He’s a former federal prosecutor turned MAGA shyster, so he knows that what he’s doing is wrong. Impeach the motherfucker.
Bobby Junior is a menace to everyone’s health. His MAHA mania has led to a lethal measles outbreak in Pennsylvania; not the sort of lethality Pete Hegseth digs. Impeach the motherfucker.
Markwayne Mullin has continued Cosplay Kristi’s polices at DHS because they’re Stephen Miller’s policies, which makes them Trump’s policies. Impeach the motherfucker.
Interior Secretary Doug Burgum has gone along with plans to ravage our national parks and was knee deep in the fake Reflecting Pool prosecution. Impeach the motherfucker.
Howard Lutnick lied to Congress about his ties to Epstein and is the biggest sycophant in a group of sycophants. Impeach the motherfucker.
Scott Bessent gives my colleague Parenthetical the heebie-jeebies. Impeach the motherfucker.
I could go on and on but I won’t. Do I favor mass impeachments of these motherfuckers? No, but I wanted to run some candidates up the flagpole and see who saluted. A one-finger salute would be appropriate.
More shit needs to be scraped off the national walls but you gotta start somewhere. The Trump cabinet is as good a place to start as any. They all may be pardoned by the Insult Comedian, so impeachment may be the only way to move against them.
Repeat after me: Impeach the motherfuckers.
The last word goes to Dave Edmunds followed by Graham Parker:
