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Number 9, Number 9, Number 9

The political world has gone stark raving mad, bonkers, looney tunes or whatever your favorite word for crazy is.Herman Cain is the current temporary GOP frontrunner, which is the latest signal that Mitt Romney reminds women of their first husband or dull first boyfriend and men of the boring rich kid who was elected class President because nobody else wanted the hassle. In short, Mitt Haircut is a grind.

We’ve been here before in 1988 and with both parties. Ann Richards was the one who tagged Poppy Bush with the first hubby label. Bob Dole was like the grownup version of the schoolyard bully and eventual Democratic nominee Michael Dukakis was the grind. The minor and/or unelectable candidates were the fun ones: Jesse Jackson was the temporary frontrunner for the Dems after Gary Hart’s zipper problem led to his, uh, premature withdrawal from the race. Hart returned but wasn’t taken seriously.

Herman Cain is looking more and more like a weirdo mashup of Jesse Jackson and 1996 candidate Steve (Flat Tax) Forbes.Cain’s 999 tax “reform” plan is breathtakingly simple and totally impractical, which makes it irresistible to GOP primary voters. Hell, it’s a waythe so-called 47%will have to pay taxes; what an awesome idea according to the Erick Erickson’s of the world. It’s not: sales taxes are the most regressive form of taxation, which is why Goopers love it so much. I live in a high sales tax state: in Orleans Parish it’s 9% and that means that it would be 18% if Cain passed his plan. Mercifully, that won’t happen.

Herman Cain is clearly one of the more entertaining candidates this time around and Mitt Haircut is robotic and dull BUT this election is depressingly winnable for the GOP. They’ve flirted with Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, Chris Christie and now Herman Cain but I still expect a shotgun wedding between Republican voters and Romney. They’re not quite ready to consumate the marriage but unless Rick Perry figures out how to run a national campaign, they’ll have to “lie back and think of England” as the old saw goes.

Finally, the worst thing about Cain’s 999 plan is thatRevolution 9is stuck in my head and it’s the only Beatles track I hate. Damn you, pizza man:

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