Number 9, Number 9, Number 9

The political world has gone stark raving mad, bonkers, looney tunes or whatever your favorite word for crazy is.Herman Cain is the current temporary GOP frontrunner, which is the latest signal that Mitt Romney reminds women of their first husband or dull first boyfriend and men of the boring rich kid who was elected class President because nobody else wanted the hassle. In short, Mitt Haircut is a grind.

We’ve been here before in 1988 and with both parties. Ann Richards was the one who tagged Poppy Bush with the first hubby label. Bob Dole was like the grownup version of the schoolyard bully and eventual Democratic nominee Michael Dukakis was the grind. The minor and/or unelectable candidates were the fun ones: Jesse Jackson was the temporary frontrunner for the Dems after Gary Hart’s zipper problem led to his, uh, premature withdrawal from the race. Hart returned but wasn’t taken seriously.

Herman Cain is looking more and more like a weirdo mashup of Jesse Jackson and 1996 candidate Steve (Flat Tax) Forbes.Cain’s 999 tax “reform” plan is breathtakingly simple and totally impractical, which makes it irresistible to GOP primary voters. Hell, it’s a waythe so-called 47%will have to pay taxes; what an awesome idea according to the Erick Erickson’s of the world. It’s not: sales taxes are the most regressive form of taxation, which is why Goopers love it so much. I live in a high sales tax state: in Orleans Parish it’s 9% and that means that it would be 18% if Cain passed his plan. Mercifully, that won’t happen.

Herman Cain is clearly one of the more entertaining candidates this time around and Mitt Haircut is robotic and dull BUT this election is depressingly winnable for the GOP. They’ve flirted with Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, Chris Christie and now Herman Cain but I still expect a shotgun wedding between Republican voters and Romney. They’re not quite ready to consumate the marriage but unless Rick Perry figures out how to run a national campaign, they’ll have to “lie back and think of England” as the old saw goes.

Finally, the worst thing about Cain’s 999 plan is thatRevolution 9is stuck in my head and it’s the only Beatles track I hate. Damn you, pizza man:

7 thoughts on “Number 9, Number 9, Number 9

  1. Tim says:

    “Take this brother. May it serve you well.”
    When I first go the White Album I was so fascinated with Revolution 9 that I sat down with a pad and pen and took notes. I was certain there was a message and meaning in the odd jumble of sounds and words. I never did figure it out.
    Peace,
    Tim

  2. adrastos says:

    The Macca is dead people like to listen to it backwards. They think you can hear “turn me on dead man.” Not there.

  3. mass says:

    The Republicans don’t give a shit who they pick, as long as they think the liberals will be pissed.
    It is the politics of third graders.

  4. pansypoo says:

    anybody but mittens.

  5. OkieBlue says:

    This tax the poor mantra seems to really resonate with the right wing idiots, I suppose because it’s so simple and it doesn’t hurt their brains.
    Do any of these goobers ever stop to think that the so called 47% don’t pay income taxes because they have so little income? Mind you they pay LOTS of other taxes but that’s just not good enough. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Let’s tax the crap out of poor people so they can be even poorer and us job creators can have even more for ourselves.

  6. This “skin in the game,” “53%,” “9-9-9” nonsense is all fruit of the same poison tree. Create a monster big enough (the spectre of lasy po’ folks puttin’ one over on ya) and you can come up with any number of make believe slogans to defend feudalism and closed markets as a preferable, more liberal economic system.
    I may not have a lot of faith in the #OccupyStuff crowd to affect real policy change, but they damn sure picked the right target in pointing fingers at the real culprit behind our nation’s cultural and economic panic.

  7. quixote says:

    Mitt mainly makes me think of a vaguely creepy store mannequin. Maybe from the Twilight Zone.
    Mitt the Mannequin.

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