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A Secular Nation

Newt, Newt, Newt:

The quote came from Newt Gingrich, who condemned the very idea of a secular state. “A country that has been now since 1963 relentlessly in the courts driving God out of public life shouldn’t be surprised at all the problems we have,” the thrice-married, serial adulterer said. “Because we’ve in fact attempted to create a secular country, which I think is frankly a nightmare.”

Several things. First of all, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually miss Bob Dole. I miss the intelligent, high-minded Republican campaigning of the FREAKING 1990s, is how crazy this shitfest has become. They are just these total clowns, and I know I should take them more seriously, because lots of people will vote for anyone who isn’t Obama, but they’re so content-free these days that it’s easier to just sit back and watch. The craziest thing as was said yesterday, somebody will say something crazier tomorrow.

Second, when blithering on about how the government needs to get back into the God business, I wonder if these dinks consider that plenty of people IN the God business don’t want their state or federal government anywhere near them or their assets. You think your church telling you how to run your government is scary? That scenario has nothing on your government telling you how to run your church, and all those big-money megachurch pastors might not like it so much when guys in suits are crawling all over their donation boxes.

Third, oh for fuck’s sake, shut up, Newt. A secular state is reason your creepy ass could get married three times, as a state truly run by Biblical principles would of course outlaw divorce. And probably stone you for your poly-blend sport coat, too. And the most of us have been led by Republican presidents since 1963, so who appointed all those judges who are now hating on God, anyway? Just shut up, and go buy yourself something pretty from Tiffany’s. I know that always clears my head.

A.

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