Hey, you nitwits, the recruiting office is over there.
No. 20 looks like Reagan to me, though all the heat was about the Obama-looking target. As for No. 11, I’m not sure what Louis CK did to these people but this seems like something of an overreaction.
Okay, you want to shoot zombies, those are hard to find in the wild, but this is the one that pisses me off:
This is sort of like those guys that hunt animals in basically cages, because they want to feel like the world’s biggest swinging dick without actually doing anything remotely dangerous (or BORING, which deer-hunting is, if you subscribe to the theory that “hunting” means sitting in a tree over a salt lick with a 24-pack of Bud Light waiting for Bambi to wander by).
You wanted a shot at Osama bin Laden? Should have done a zillion push-ups a day and held your breath for two hours and whatever the hell else you have to do to get into the Navy SEALs. You want to go kill dictators, take a crack at some baddie who’s oppressing his people in Africa or some shit? Blackwater is hiring and given the things their people get up to, they ain’t real picky. Think taking potshots at Hitler of the Week is the best thing in the world?
YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO THAT.
Of course, you have to get your ass out of the lounge chair and use your gun more than once every six weeks when you’re showing off. You have to train, and work, and maybe you’re not suited for the infantry given your strenuous workout routine of shoving Cheetos in your facehole. Maybe you’re suited for pushing pencils in an office, just like you do now, and you’ll spend your whole tour of duty not taking out Idi Amin but peeling potatoes in some shithole town in Kentucky, because if you really were such a death-dealing badass you’d be that already.
Schmucks.
A.