I honestly don’t know who in this story I feel worse for:
Fellas, your greatest achievement in life is detaching yourself from your horrible hag of a mom! You can’t have a healthy relationship with her while living a normal adult life, like a person! You must escape her clutches, and take no notice of her dragging behind you, an old tight-permed biddy who just folds laundry and knits and hates your friends.
Ladies, your child’s most significant relationship in life should be with you alone, and any part of growing up that threatens your ability to think of him as an infant is evil and must be eliminated. His independence and social skills are not a sign that you raised him well. They’re a direct affront to you and you should cling to him by any means necessary. That way your son will be a miserable shut-in who speaks only to you, and you can own him forever!
Fathers apparently don’t exist at all in this world, because there’s no room for Dad in between Mom and Her Precious Boy. Is there a single thing about this that isn’t creepy? It makes me ashamed to be a mammal. Anybody who’s ever watched a horror film knows how these relationships end, and it’s SPOILER ALERT NOT WELL.
A.