Athenae, Fuck The Mommy Wars

Old Spice Just Hates People

I honestly don’t know who in this story I feel worse for:

Fellas, your greatest achievement in life is detaching yourself from your horrible hag of a mom! You can’t have a healthy relationship with her while living a normal adult life, like a person! You must escape her clutches, and take no notice of her dragging behind you, an old tight-permed biddy who just folds laundry and knits and hates your friends.

Ladies, your child’s most significant relationship in life should be with you alone, and any part of growing up that threatens your ability to think of him as an infant is evil and must be eliminated. His independence and social skills are not a sign that you raised him well. They’re a direct affront to you and you should cling to him by any means necessary. That way your son will be a miserable shut-in who speaks only to you, and you can own him forever!

Fathers apparently don’t exist at all in this world, because there’s no room for Dad in between Mom and Her Precious Boy. Is there a single thing about this that isn’t creepy? It makes me ashamed to be a mammal. Anybody who’s ever watched a horror film knows how these relationships end, and it’s SPOILER ALERT NOT WELL.

A.

5 thoughts on “Old Spice Just Hates People”

  1. that ad is the most annoying thing on tv that didn’t end with the clock running out on the Wild Card game …

  2. Omg.glad I’m not the only one who hates this commercial. Trying to hard to be edgy.
    It will probably win a Cleo Award. “Everyone was talking about it! 29,000,000 shares!
    Bloggers were writing about it! Brand Awareness is thru the roof. All PR is good PR. They aren’t talking about brut! Or High Karate or Axe. But Old Spice!”

  4. Sorry, but i just don’t see a genuine concern here. This spot is so full of hyperbole and foolishness, no way are they trying to be edgy, they were being craftily silly. Their advo agency has done a fantastic job keeping the brand relevant.

  5. Saw it for the first time during football yesterday, and my immediate reaction was that the Old Spice resurgence has jumped the shark.

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