Newspaper giant Gannett Co. is exploring the parcel-delivery business as it examines how to make the most of its fleet of paper carriers and delivery trucks, according to people familiar with the matter.
Prompted by the e-commerce boom, Gannett reached out to parcel-industry consultants as recently as December. It also had meetings and preliminary discussions with Amazon.com Inc. as it explores delivery possibilities, according to one of those people.
“We are always looking for opportunities to do back hauls or deliver packages as we are out on the roads,” that person said.
Let’s do this in order:
Gannett just noticed that the youngs like to order their things over the computer and have them delivered in parcels. IT IS THE YEAR OF OUR LORD JESUS 2016.
Who here gets their Gannett paper delivered on time on their porch when they are supposed to get it come rain or come shine? Yeah, you in the back? You’re high, go home. They cannot do their current job well. Newspapers are losing customers because they cannot get their product to those customers without it being some kind of Shackleton at the fucking Pole daylong drama involving four calls to circulation and a topographical map.
Why would they go around looking for something else to screw up? This is like the Cleveland Browns deciding to try their hand at snowboarding in the next Olympics. Like are they hoping that if they fuck up something else, nobody will notice the first fucked-up thing?
Newspaper companies such as Gannett or Tribune would face other logistical hurdles in making the change, according to former and current parcel-industry executives. They would need to develop the ability to sort, track and deliver packages on time, all of which are capital- and labor-intensive processes.
UPS cannot always get this right and THAT IS ALL THEY DO. FedEx, no matter how many times I tell them where to leave the stupid box, leaves it in the wrong place and LEAVING THE BOX SOMEWHERE IS THEIR ONLY JOB. “As long as we have trucks out there anyway” is not a business model.
Then again, they had a pretty solid business model in gathering information and giving it to people and they managed to set that one on fire, too.
Schmucks.
A.