Company Which Cannot Do Newspapers Right Says Let’s Find Something Else to Fail At!

Gannett, for fuck’s sake: 

Newspaper giant Gannett Co. is exploring the parcel-delivery business as it examines how to make the most of its fleet of paper carriers and delivery trucks, according to people familiar with the matter.

Prompted by the e-commerce boom, Gannett reached out to parcel-industry consultants as recently as December. It also had meetings and preliminary discussions with Inc. as it explores delivery possibilities, according to one of those people.

“We are always looking for opportunities to do back hauls or deliver packages as we are out on the roads,” that person said.

Let’s do this in order:

Gannett just noticed that the youngs like to order their things over the computer and have them delivered in parcels. IT IS THE YEAR OF OUR LORD JESUS 2016.

Who here gets their Gannett paper delivered on time on their porch when they are supposed to get it come rain or come shine? Yeah, you in the back? You’re high, go home. They cannot do their current job well. Newspapers are losing customers because they cannot get their product to those customers without it being some kind of Shackleton at the fucking Pole daylong drama involving four calls to circulation and a topographical map.

Why would they go around looking for something else to screw up? This is like the Cleveland Browns deciding to try their hand at snowboarding in the next Olympics. Like are they hoping that if they fuck up something else, nobody will notice the first fucked-up thing?

Newspaper companies such as Gannett or Tribune would face other logistical hurdles in making the change, according to former and current parcel-industry executives. They would need to develop the ability to sort, track and deliver packages on time, all of which are capital- and labor-intensive processes.

UPS cannot always get this right and THAT IS ALL THEY DO. FedEx, no matter how many times I tell them where to leave the stupid box, leaves it in the wrong place and LEAVING THE BOX SOMEWHERE IS THEIR ONLY JOB. “As long as we have trucks out there anyway” is not a business model.

Then again, they had a pretty solid business model in gathering information and giving it to people and they managed to set that one on fire, too.



2 thoughts on “Company Which Cannot Do Newspapers Right Says Let’s Find Something Else to Fail At!

  1. I live in a small town so even though the package might be touched by UPS or FedEx hands at some point, the final delivery is nearly 100% of the time USPS. Bravo for them. Friend in small town north of Spokane WA sent the computer I’m using right now to me in Portland IN via USPS – arrived safe and sound – hand delivered to me by the woman who is the postmaster here. This was in the busy Christmas season, and delivery took just two days. This past week, a book sent to me via book rate from a friend in Brooklyn NY was mailed on Wednesday and arrived on Friday. Just two examples of how the USPS works for me. I wish that the unreasonable burden on them re the pension funding could be lifted, plus let them do small banking functions, micro loans and savings accounts in addition to postal money orders which I use instead of checks, much cheaper.

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