I swore that I wouldn’t write another political post until 2024, then a present from Nikki Haley fell in my lap. I don’t believe in looking a gift horse in mouth and that is why Nikki Haley is malaka of the week.
This is the first time anyone has worn the malakatude crown of thorns twice in one year. Haley’s first brush with malakatude infamy came on June 27. Here’s a relevant self-quote:
It’s all about ambition for Nikki Haley. She’s determined to reach the top of what Disraeli called the greasy pole of politics, but she doesn’t want to offend anyone on her way up. That is at least an improvement on the GOP frontrunner; offending people is the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian’s jam.
That remains true. Malaka Nikki’s relentless pandering to MAGA maggots is how she got herself in this latest mess. Check out this tweet from The Law Dork DBA Chris Geidner:
"What do you want me to say about slavery?" should be the end of Nikki Haley's political career. pic.twitter.com/m29l7GTGMt
— Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner) December 28, 2023
I wish it were so, Mr. Law Dork. Haley’s trimming on this issue is outrageous. I think she hopes that the Trumpist right will forget that she signed a bill that removed the Confederate stars and bars from the South Carolina state flag after the 2015 Charleston church massacre. Of course, she had to be dragged kicking and screaming to do so but she deserves some credit for doing the right thing; the emphasis is on the word some.
Haley’s follow-up spin is just as bad as the original comments:
Nikki Haley today: “Of course the Civil War was about slavery. We know that. That’s the easy part of it. What I was saying was what does it mean to us today? What it means to us today is about freedom. That’s what that was all about.” pic.twitter.com/6qqP0ijCM9
— Kaitlan Collins (@kaitlancollins) December 28, 2023
Slavery is the easy part? If that’s her best shot at damage control, she’s not ready for prime time.
Repeat after Jethro Tull:
Nikki Haley is the flavor of the month among GOP donors and pundits desperate to inject some drama into the race for the silver medal. This controversy should dampen their enthusiasm. The malakatude, it burns.
The featured image is of Haley debating past malaka of the week Vivek Ramaswamy. I used it because their mutual loathing has been one of the few highlights of a desultory race.
In Haley’s first stint as malaka of the week, I paired her in the featured image with another annoying Asian-Pacific American opportunist, former Gret Stet Governor PBJ DBA Bobby Jindal. Why? He was the OG Indian Pander Bear, that’s why.
I’ve long had a disgusted fascination with the Lost Cause and its adherents. Lost Causers maintain that the War of the Rebellion was about anything but slavery. As a South Carolina Republican, how could Malaka Nikki say otherwise? Besides, she’s pandering to people who think the Dipshit Insurrection was no big whoop.
In another time, I would be certain that “what do you want me to say about slavery?” would be Nikki Haley’s political epitaph. It’s the most memorable thing she’s ever said. It’s unlikely, however, to doom her campaign. It was already doomed by her refusal to go after her former boss. The Trump indictments were a gift to his primary opponents, but they looked a gift horse in the mouth and declined to go there. And that is why Nikki Haley is malaka of the week.
The last word goes to Beck:
