I’m writing my quadrennial Veepstakes post early because both major party nominations were wrapped up last week. There’s no suspense on Democratic side as the Biden-Harris ticket is poised for a repeat performance. NY Magazine’s Margaret Hartmann has kicked off the speculation as to who Moe Trump will select as his next elected stooge.
It won’t be Larry Pence who has finally decided against endorsing the man who incited rioters to hang him. As I wrote six days after the Dipshit Insurrection, Mike Pence is made of calmer stuff.
Nobody cares what you think, Mike. You have no influence with anyone anymore; not even your fellow Hoosiers give a shit what you think nor should they. The years of temporizing over whether to support the Kaiser of Chaos has made Pence a national joke. That’s ironic given that Pence has no sense of humor whatsoever.
If not the former Veep, then who? As I said in 2012, 2016, and 2020, it doesn’t matter. Nobody votes for the vice presidential candidate. The Veepstakes only matter as an indication of the top dog’s judgment, a test John McCain failed miserably in 2008 with his selection of Sarah Palin. It opened the floodgates for much for the antic stupidity that has overwhelmed our political system since then. Thanks, Senator Walnuts. #sarcasm
In her Intelligencer piece, Hartmann applies the conventional wisdom as to who the main MAGA maggot will pick to share the ballot with him. None of that shit matters. The primary qualification for the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian’s next running mate is sycophancy. Trump wants a sidekick who will not only jump when asked to but ask, “How high, boss?”
It doesn’t matter if it’s Elise Stefanik, Tim Scott, Crazy Kari Lake, or crazier Marge Green. They must be willing to be humiliated at all times by the Kaiser of Chaos. To use Stoogeology logic: No Curlys need apply, only Larrys. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Enough Stoogeology. I have a hunch as to who Trump will select. He’s the ultimate male chauvinist, so I don’t think he’ll pick a woman. He’s somehow convinced himself that he can con Black male voters into supporting him. That makes South Carolina Senator Tim Scott my guess. Remember this?
Trump: You’re the Senator of his state. She endorsed me. You must really hate her
Scott to Trump: I just love you pic.twitter.com/fwo60526nK
— Acyn (@Acyn) January 24, 2024
If Scott is willing to sink so low to win Trump’s favor, he’s qualified to be his running mate. He better be prepared to be called an Uncle Tom on a daily basis by members of the Black community if he’s on the ticket.
I’m not a mind reader, so that’s just an educated guess as to the “winner” of the MAGA Veepstakes will be. Besides, reading the mind of a deranged lunatic is a mug’s game. Trump’s judgment is non-existent as indicated by the possible return of convicted felon and Russian agent Paul Manafort to his inner circle. Oy, just oy.
In the end, it doesn’t matter. Nobody votes for the vice presidential candidate. This post is called MAGA Veepstakes, Lowstakes for a reason.
The last word goes to Depeche Mode:
