Tag Archives: Chris Christie

Angry Pander Bear

One of the highlights of the 1992 election cycle was when Paul Tsongas called Bill Clinton a Pander Bear for obvious reasons. Bill not only felt people’s pain, he borrowed their ideas, policies, you name if, he’d use it. He was to politicians what Milton Berle was to comedians.

The 2016 election cycle seems to be featuring a new variation on this theme: Chris Christie as the Angry Pander Bear. I originally thought Christie might use his Ralph Kramden/Governor Asshole persona to run against the nutty GOP base but those days are long gone. He’s gone from CPAC pariah to favorite:

…Christie pitched himself repeatedly as a man of the people, someone who was willing to stand up for regular folks and fight for them. He turned a question on immigration into an opportunity to praise “hardworking people” struggling in America. In response to a question about Bush’s immigration remarks in which he had praised immigrants for their entrepreneurial character, Christie accused politicians of caring too much about what “they say on the editorial page of the New York Times and Washington Post.”

Free of the burden of being the establishment’s darling, Christie also sought to exorcise his White House ties. Asked about the time he told a constituent to “sit down and shut up,” Christie didn’t shy away, saying some people needed to hear just that advice. When the audience reacted positively, he said the Obama White House needed to hear that order. The audience reacted favorably.

I keep waiting for a Republican to stand up to wingnuts whose idea of principled politics is to hold their breath until they get their way. The Tea Party is a misnomer. The should be called  the Toddler Tantrum party: holding our breath til we turn blue since 2009.

The reason for Gov. Kramden’s switch is that Poppy’s boy, Jeb the acronym, is the favored candidate of white shoe, country club establishment Republicans. Jeb is pretending to take on the extremists in his party but it won’t last. He’s a Bush and they’re experts at pandering: Poppy Bush’s entire career was an exercise in pandering, which was why it was so ironic that he lost to the original Pander Bear. History is unlikely to repeat itself: the Angry Pander Bear is unlikely to beat out Jeb the acronym for the nomination. Me, I still think they’re going to go full tilt bat shit crazy and nominate someone who will  lose every state outside the hardcore hookworm/wingnut belt.

Finally, I’m trying out a nickname for John Ellis Bush. Whaddya think of Jeb the acronym or Acronym Jeb? Not as funny as Willard Mittbot Romney, but no candidate will ever be as funny as Willard. The nation’s gain was satire’s loss.

 

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PBJ blows with the wind

Bobby JIndal is a human weather vane. He walks around with his index finger extended at all times to see if it’s time to change positions.The prevailing wind in the GOP right now seems to be gusting pragmatism:

Republican governors’ leader Bobby Jindal turned on his party’s national leadership on Wednesday, calling on the GOP to suggest alternative ideas for healthcare and immigration reform rather than simply defining itself as the “party of no”.

Amid signs of a growing backlash among Republican moderates since the failed government shutdown and the landslide re-election of centrist New Jersey governor Chris Christie, Jindal opened the annual conference of governors in Arizona with a stark warning to the Tea Party-dominated House of Representatives.

“We no longer want to outsource our brand management to the folks in DC,” said the governor of Louisiana. “Too often in Washington, we are defined as the party of no. Too often we’re defined by what we’re against. We need to do a better job as a party of defining what we are for.”

PBJ sounds more like a junior ad exec than a future President doesn’t he? His old slogan of no mo stupid party went over about as well as a dead rat in the punch bowl, so he’s trying to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and stop messing with Mr. In Between.

The reason for the new GOP wind patterns, of course, is all the hot air emanating from the MSM about Chris Christie’s big victory up in Joisey. The folks at Politico and elsewhere believe that somehow Gov. Pufferfish can bellow, bluster and drag his party to the center. Color me skeptical. Both Senator Walnuts and Willard Mittbot Romney were moderates who moved far right to placate their party. It was easy for Willard, because like PBJ, he believes in absolutely nothing whereas McCain at least believes in going to war whenever and wherever possible. Just call him Dr. Strangelove.

Back to my large eared and butt ugly Governor.PBJ recently “wrote” another piece for Poltico wherein he kinda, sorta said he might be running in 2016. Actually, he said “I don’t know,” which Jindalspeak means “yes, yes, yes, give it to me now.” (No wonder he gives the bozos at Tiger Beat on the Potomac a collective stiffy.) Since he’s term limited, he can no longer say “I have the job I want.” PBJ seems to be positioning himself to morph into a moderate if Christie falters as I expect him to do after yelling at one too many biblethumpers in Iowa.

I remain eternally skeptical about Jindal’s future candidacy, but he does have a shot at the other route to the Presidency. That route, of course, is the one taken by Lyndon Johnson, Gerald Ford and Harry Truman: the Vice Presidency. If the GOP nominee is another Governor it won’t happen, but if it’s someone like Paul Ryan or a Senator, PBJ has a good chance to be on the ticket. He’s the sort of minority candidate the Republicans love: he’s one of them while looking like THE OTHER. It’s unlikely to help them all that much in the Indian-American community, most of whom are libruls, but it could make the GOP look more tolerant and inclusive to suburbanites.

That is all.

Tagged ,

PBJ blows with the wind

Bobby JIndal is a human weather vane. He walks around with his index finger extended at all times to see if it’s time to change positions.The prevailing wind in the GOP right now seems to be gusting pragmatism:

Republican governors’ leader Bobby Jindal turned on his party’s national leadership on Wednesday, calling on the GOP to suggest alternative ideas for healthcare and immigration reform rather than simply defining itself as the “party of no”.

Amid signs of a growing backlash among Republican moderates since the failed government shutdown and the landslide re-election of centrist New Jersey governorChris Christie, Jindal opened the annual conference of governors in Arizona with a stark warning to the Tea Party-dominated House of Representatives.

“We no longer want to outsource our brand management to the folks in DC,” said the governor of Louisiana. “Too often in Washington, we are defined as the party of no. Too often we’re defined by what we’re against. We need to do a better job as a party of defining what we are for.”

PBJ sounds more like a junior ad exec than a future President doesn’t he? His old slogan of no mo stupid party went over about as well as a dead rat in the punch bowl, so he’s trying to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and stop messing with Mr. In Between.

The reason for the new GOP wind patterns, of course, is all the hot air emanating from the MSM about Chris Christie’s big victory up in Joisey. The folks at Politico and elsewhere believe that somehow Gov. Pufferfish can bellow, bluster and drag his party to the center. Color me skeptical. Both Senator Walnuts and Willard Mittbot Romney were moderates who moved far right to placate their party. It was easy for Willard, because like PBJ, he believes in absolutely nothing whereas McCain at least believes in going to war whenever and wherever possible. Just call him Dr. Strangelove.

Back to my large eared and butt ugly Governor.PBJ recently “wrote” another piece for Poltico wherein he kinda, sorta said he might be running in 2016. Actually, he said “I don’t know,” which Jindalspeak means “yes, yes, yes, give it to me now.” (No wonder he gives the bozos at Tiger Beat on the Potomac a collective stiffy.) Since he’s term limited, he can no longer say “I have the job I want.” PBJ seems to be positioning himself to morph into a moderate if Christie falters as I expect him to do after yelling at one too many biblethumpers in Iowa.

I remain eternally skeptical about Jindal’s future candidacy, but he does have a shot at the other route to the Presidency. That route, of course, is the one taken by Lyndon Johnson, Gerald Ford and Harry Truman: the Vice Presidency. If the GOP nominee is another Governor it won’t happen, but if it’s someone like Paul Ryan or a Senator, PBJ has a good chance to be on the ticket. He’s the sort of minority candidate the Republicans love: he’s one of them while looking like THE OTHER. It’s unlikely to help them all that much in the Indian-American community, most of whom are libruls, but it could make the GOP look more tolerant and inclusive to suburbanites.

That is all.

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