Category Archives: Teabaggery

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – stupid lives matter edition

Good morning, people – still not much going on at Freeperville other than the “The FBI is gonna arrest Killary  ANY DAY NOW crapola that’s been going on for – let’s just say – a number of years now.
(Oops – scroll to the bottom for late-breaking Freeper news hearts on this)

There is, however, this:

SHOOTER KILLS 2 IOWA OFFICERS IN AMBUSH (Iowa)
ABC13 – Des Moines ^

Posted on ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎37‎:‎18‎ ‎AM by BookmanTheJanitor

S MOINES, IA (KTRK) — Two police officers were ambushed and killed overnight in Des Moines, Iowa.

A search is underway for the person who fatally shot them.

1 posted on 11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎37‎:‎18‎ ‎AM by BookmanTheJanitor
Search?  Not necessary!  The Freeperati have already gotten this one solved!
To: BookmanTheJanitor

 

Cop killers lives matter!

Uh, no.

6 posted on ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎52‎:‎23‎ ‎AM by UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide (Reverse Wickard v Filburn (1942) – and – ISLAM DELENDA EST)

I’m sorry – you didn’t blow that dog whistle quite loud enough. Could you make that a little less ambiguous, please?
To: BookmanTheJanitor

 

Another BLM assassination?

9 posted on ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎57‎:‎39‎ ‎AM by Neoliberalnot (Marxism works well only with the uneducated and the unarmed)

Thenk yew.
To: VanShuyten
Ambush attacks? Hmmm…the Religion of Pieces? Black Lies Matter?
4 posted on 11/2/2016, 6:53:26 AM by Gay State Conservative (Deplorables’ Lives Matter)
And then –
To: jjotto

 

LEO is looking for a person of interest driving a blue Ford F150. FNC showed photo of an ugly white guy with ?reddish hair.

42 posted on 11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎7‎:‎40‎:‎50‎ ‎AM by NautiNurse (ILLary uses BleachBit to scrub her medical history away…)

It’s obviously a clever disguise.
“I want the USA hack  back” obviously didn’t get the memo:
To: BookmanTheJanitor

 

Wanna bet the murderers chanted “black lives matter”?

44 posted on 11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎7‎:‎42‎:‎53‎ ‎AM by I want the USA back (Lying Media: willing and eager allies of the hate-America left.)

Sure.  Whatcha got to put up?

Iowa cop-killing suspect identifiedFox News ^ | 11/02/2016 | Fox News Posted on ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎8‎:‎18‎:‎39‎ ‎AM by Trump20162020

BREAKING: Police identify suspect accused of killing 2 officers as 46 y.o. Scott Michael Greene of Urbandale, Iowa.


1 posted on 11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎8‎:‎18‎:‎39‎ ‎AM by Trump20162020
Oh darn.
Confederate Lives Matter?
To: Trump20162020

 

Driving a Ford F-150? Looks like Trump is about to get blamed for this somehow.

2 posted on 11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎8‎:‎20‎:‎33‎ ‎AM by Genoa (Luke 12:2)

Would it be irresponsible to speculate?
To: Trump20162020

 

Now that we know he’s white (in a trashy sort of way) we can assume he will be portrayed as a Trump-All-The-Way type….like the recent (and old) news that most Trump supporters are “uneducated white males”…..

9 posted on 11‎/‎2‎/‎2016‎ ‎8‎:‎29‎:‎06‎ ‎AM by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)

I know! Shillary done sneaked over in the dead of night and planted that sign in his yard two weeks ago!
More frantic evasion after the Noble Cause…

Continue reading

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The Other Joe Walsh’s Musket Love

It’s weird out there this election season. Yeah, y’all already knew that but humor me. I’ll get to the point directly. Former Congresscritter and professional asshole, the Other Joe Walsh tweeted his way back into the limelight yesterday:

His call for his fellow teabaggers to be revolting, I mean revolt, caused instant condemnation. Here’s my rather Athenae-like instant analysis:

The Other Joe followed up this morning with more musket love:

I love how Walsh and his ilk know nothing about history. Thomas Jefferson was an aristocrat who was all talk when it came to violence. He wouldn’t even have had the help do any musket grabbing since he owned the help. Besides, I think Jefferson, as a genuine albeit flawed civil libertarian, might hold different views on marriage equality if he were alive. He *was* known to be tolerant of gays during his lifetime. That’s right, Other Joe: there were gay people in the 18th Century too. Put that in your oven and bake it.

I got sidetracked by the follow-up tirade. Our longtime readers are used to that by now. The original musket love tweet gave me an earworm. A painful one at that: Muskrat Love by the Captain & Tennille. A hit song so bad that I refuse to get embed with it even though musket is an excellent pun on muskrat. Wait a minute, I saw a version with a weird featured image so I changed my mind but the puns stay.

Sorry about that, it’s the only way to expel an earworm: share the fucker. The stuffed muskrats were kinda cute though.

The Other Joe Walsh isn’t the only Trumper talking “revolution” when-not if-Trump becomes the losingest loser who ever lost. Consider me skeptical: they’re conjuring up the spirit of 2010, not 1776. The Tea Party types talked a big game but, in the end, they were all hat and no cattle. The cattle stampeded because the Teabaggers talked too loudly of death squads. Who wants to be a steak before one’s time?

I think most Trumpers will turn on their candidate when-not if-he loses. It’s what usually happens. There was a lot of brave talk in 1964 during the Goldwater campaign about revolting against a man they could have called Crooked Lyndon. Most of Goldwater’s supporters went on with their lives, others organized, nobody staged a violent revolution. There was no Tilden uprising after the 1876 squeaker was actually stolen. I am, however, concerned about random acts of gun nuttery but that’s a far cry from this apocalyptic Trumper nonsense: 

Jared Halbrook, 25, of Green Bay, Wis., said that if Mr. Trump lost to Hillary Clinton, which he worried would happen through a stolen election, it could lead to “another Revolutionary War.”

“People are going to march on the capitols,” said Mr. Halbrook, who works at a call center. “They’re going to do whatever needs to be done to get her out of office, because she does not belong there.”

Or this:

“It’s not what I’m going to do, but I’m scared that the country is going to go into a riot,” said Roger Pillath, 75, a retired teacher from Coleman, Wis. “I’ve never seen the country so divided, just black and white — there’s no compromise whatsoever. The Clinton campaign says together we are stronger, but there’s no together. The country has never been so divided. I’m looking at revolution right now.”

Excuse me, Mr. Teacherman. Remember a small thing called the Civil War? Your home state of Wisconsin was on the winning side of that conflagration. I hope he’s not a retired history or poli sci teacher. Schmuck.

Repeat after me: Americans hate losers and that’s what Trump will be the day after the election. Our job as citizens is to make sure he loses bigly. Believe me.

Grab your muskrat. You in?

From Bloody Sock To Bathrooms To Breitbart

Schilling

Curt Schilling and Breitbart Dude. Photo via New York Magazine.

This was originally supposed to be a malaka of the week post. Heaven knows, Curt Schilling may never be a baseball hall of famer but he’s definitely a candidate for the malakatude hall of shame. Once again, I came up with a clever title, which sounds a bit like a wingnut version of from Tinker to Evers to Chance. And that is why Curt Schilling is NOT malaka of the week.

People often wonder why some famous athletes don’t get involved in politics. Curt Schilling is a good example why some jocks should not go there. Schilling has gone from Boston Red Sox hero to a cautionary tale in 12 years. That may be forever on the internet but it’s a mere blink of the eye for those of us who either study history or take the long view of life. More people should try it. End of sermonette on the non-mount.

Schilling’s bloody sock moment came in the 2004 American League Championship Series against the hated Yankees. The BoSox rallied from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Bronx bastards and one source of inspiration was Schilling’s John Wayne dude moment. I apologize in advance for making you listen to Buck the younger and lesser:

That made Schilling a hero to Red Sox nation as he helped end the so-called Curse of the Bambino. Enough with the curses. Because of that, liberal Democrats forgave Schilling for actively supporting Bush-Cheney in 2004 against hometown hero, BoSox fan, and Athenae boyfriend, John Kerry. Big John had ownership and Theo Epstein on his side, so all was forgiven by a fan base that the New Yorker’s Roger Angell once called “gentle Fenway transcendentalists.” I’m not sure if Rog has met any Red Sox fans from Southie but the image is so swell that Imma cut him some slack.

Schilling’s first foray into politics was a mere preview of wingnut coming attractions. The election of the first black President knocked a few screws loose in that big blonde head. That’s right, Schilling became a full-fledged teanut, but what really set him off were advances in gay rights and the backlash to it.

Back in April, Schilling was sacked from his gig as a baseball analyst at ESPN. His undoing was an itchy Facebook finger. The offending status was over the second B in our title: bathrooms. That’s right, the Curtster is a fan of the North Carolina bathroom bill:

29949047874_2ab1a2c1bb

A man is a man? That gives me an excuse to post an anti-machismo Who song. Thanks, asswipe:

Since Schilling is a Trump-style show-off who lives for attention, he’s flirting with the notion of challenging Senator Professor Elizabeth Warren when she’s up for re-election in 2018. This is akin to a kamikaze mission or volunteering to go to the Little Big Horn with his fellow blonde egomaniac George Armstrong Custer. Charlie Pierce, for one, hopes he goes for it:

Look, if I had a brand new local weekend radio talk-show to promote, I might do a lot of hilarious stuff, too. But Curt Schilling—who knows more about everything than you do, loser—has developed a marketing plan unlike anything I’ve ever seen. He has decided to be the funniest man on earth. There is no competition.

(By the way, if you’re not following ol’ @gehrig38 on the electric Twitter machine, you’re not having nearly enough fun in this world. Whatever the world record is for retweeting garbage directly from Breitbart’s Mausoleum For Chronic Unemployables is, Schilling has blown it up. And a couple of weeks ago, he explained how he could clean up the problems with the VA in two years. Whaddaguy!)

Recently, you may recall, Schilling announced that he was thinking seriously about challenging Senator Professor Warren in 2018. Again, I say that baby Jesus does not love me enough to make this happen.

As you may have gathered from Charlie’s gleeful post, Schilling has taken his mouthy machismo to Breitbart Radio. This amounts to a meeting of 2016’s B3s: we’ve gone from Breitbart-Bannon-Bossie Man to the Bloody Sock Bathroom Breitbart Baseballer. Is that 4 Bs? Oh well, I never claimed to be a math wonk.  My work here is *almost* done.

I’ve conclusively established that Curt Schilling is malakatude hall of shamer but what about the baseball hall of fame in Cooperstown? He’s attracted support in his four years on the ballot: receiving 52% the last time around. But will he get over 75%? I hope not. His on-field case is a decent one although his list of comparable pitchers includes only one hall of famer: current Fox Sports analyst and former Braves star John Smoltz. Schilling *does* have a great post-season record: 11-2 with a 2.23 ERA. But will the bloody sock be enough to trump the other Bs: bathrooms and Breitbart? Stay tuned.

Tweet Of The Day: Anarchy In Milwaukee County Edition

frankenstein-castle-torch-wielding-mob

Is this what Sheriff Clarke has in mind?

Remember when Donald Trump told us he was the law and order candidate? It was, of course, another lie. He should have said he was the lawless and disorder candidate. His supporters have an anarchic streak to say the least. One of the few high-profile African-American Trumpers is the wack-a-doodle sheriff of Milwaukee County, Wisconsin, David A. Clarke Jr. The A seems to stand for arsonist:

Nice to see that the guy who runs the jails in Wisconsin’s most populous county’s hobby is inciting social media riots. Sheriff Clarke is enjoying his time in the spotlight:

His fans are gathering tiki torches to storm the castle? Is this some sort of Hawaiian or Polynesian uprising? Does that mean that Victor Frankenstein is holed up at Trader Vic’s? Does Trader Vic’s even exist any more? The original tiki bar and restaurant seems to only exist abroad according to Wikipedia, which is a real shame. I met the original Trader Vic when I was a kid. He was a friend of a friend of my father’s. I remain convinced that he created the Mai Tai; sorry, Beachcomber Don. I think Trumpers like Sheriff David Asshole Clarke should drink a few Mai Tais and catch the island vibe. That concludes this brief Adrastos-Zelig story except, that is, for this musical interlude:

Back to Sheriff Wingnut. It turns out that the lawless man in a tin foil cowboy hat is a blogger.

Clarke’s hernia inducing post is an incoherent rant that makes it rather worrisome that he’s a jailer. He’s just nutty enough to try to “lock her up” in his own jail. Here’s a sample of his unhinged writing:

When I tweeted the above image, I meant it. I wasn’t speaking in code. It’s time to run those corrupt politicians out of Washington DC and back to whatever crevices they crawled from. It’s time to put Mrs. Bill Clinton behind bars, where she belongs. And it’s time that the DOJ learns what the “J” stands for in their name.

Of course, that’s not what the “Democratic operatives with bylines” understood when they saw my tweet. They immediately reported that I was trying to “incite violence” — and unbecoming habit for a law enforcement official.  They were so desperate to make something of it, they contacted the NRA and probably the Trump campaign to get them to disavow me.)

Uh, yeah, that’s exactly what it sounds like. What do the voices in your head tell you, Sheriff Clarke? Something like this:

I’ve done nothing in 38 years of law enforcement to make any person believe that I incite violence, unless you believe that the right of self-defense which I advocate for, is inciting violence which this same media accused me of doing several years ago. Yet here goes the liberal, tolerant media giving liberals a pass while making plastering headlines across America that a black man’s conservative political rhetoric is actually violent.

<SNIP>

That is who my tweet was directed at. I encourage them to join me in pushing back against the corruption that has infected our institutions of government. I took an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States, not the pretended legislation of federal bureaucracies that have no law making authority under the Constitution. That Constitution is being shredded with the aid of Big Media as I write. I guess that makes me old school. Fine. I haven’t forgotten that I report to the people, not Big Media.

Yes, like the Founding Fathers knew and had the courage to say, it is pitchfork and torches time in America.

I feel a liberal hernia coming on, y’all.

The most alarming thing about Clarke’s rant is that it makes no fucking sense whatsoever. The “pretended legislation” of federal bureaucracies? What the hell does that even mean? Does it have something to do with this doo-wop classic?

That makes about as much sense as Clarke’s tirade about hernias, pitchforks, and torches. Oh my.

The country seems to be divided between two camps right now: those who want to “burn it down” and those who want to build on the step-by-step incremental progress that is the stuff of democracy. The “burn it down” group is largely right-wing but I know a few lefties with an anarchic streak who think it would be a good idea. Why? I’ll never know. Slow and steady wins the race in a democratic society. The pace may be painful, especially in a fast-moving digital world but it beats the hell out of political arson.

David Clarke is a Joe Arpaio wannabe. It’s a good thing his extreme views will make it difficult for him to be elected to higher office. It is, however, scary that this tin foil hat wearing paranoid holds a responsible position. It is even more distressing that a black “conservative” is advocating mob action. I hope the voters of Milwaukee County  will take him out at the next election; not with pitchforks and torches but with votes.

I feel one more tiki torch tune coming on. Speaking of pretenders, I’ll give Jackson Browne and David Lindley the last word:

The Ugly Underneath

I was in good mood this afternoon. I’d been writing this week’s Saturday post, which is always great fun. I tuned out the events of the day until a little before three in the afternoon. Then, I checked out TPM and learned that the latest Trump Toddler Tantrum was a Teutonic one complete with anti-Semitic code words. It was depressing confirmation of my choice to renounce Godwin’s Law this campaign season. Here’s a reminder of what that means: mention the Nazis in any discussion and you lose.

That’s no longer true in 2016 thanks to Donald Trump and his merry band of B3 Brownshirts. There’s so much thuggishness today that I don’t know where to begin. Let’s start with the bit that inspired this post title. You know, when the Insult Comedian said he didn’t sexually assault Natasha Stoynoff because she wasn’t hot enough:

Donald Trump on Thursday attacked a former People Magazine reporter who alleged Trump forcibly kissed her while she was reporting at his Mar-a-Lago estate in 2005, implying that he could not have forced himself on her because he was not attracted to her.

“She’s doing the story on Melania, who is pregnant at the time, and Donald Trump and our one year anniversary,” Trump said at a rally in West Palm Beach, Florida. “And said I made inappropriate advances, and by the way, it was a public area and people all over the place.”

“Take a look. You take a look. Look at her. And look at her words,” Trump said. “And you tell me what you think. I don’t think so. I don’t think so.”

I wasn’t sure whether to vomit or be angered by this nonsense. I chose the latter response. I don’t even know what this fuckwit is on about. His libido knows no boundaries. The only one who’s ugly in this discussion is Trump who has allowed the ugly underneath to come into public view. If the “grab her by Billy Bush” tape is to be believed, Trump will fuck anyone female within tongue or Tic-Tac range. Sorry for the extreme crudity but when dealing with a man who is willing to “burn it all down,” you have to fight fire with fire. Fuck you, Donald. You’re losing. Time to stop abusing the country with your vile bullshit.

In the big picture, Trump’s Protocols of the Elders of Zion infused conspiracy speech was even more disgusting. It’s another reason why I’m writing out of anger today. I prefer to be ice to Athenae’s fire but that’s impossible this afternoon. The scariest thing about the Trump campaign is the way it has attracted neo-Nazis and allowed them to dip their toes into the mainstream as it were. Trump never says the word Jew and uses his son-in-law as a human shield to protect him from charges of anti-Semitism. But anyone who knows history understands what he’s talking about, even if he’s too stupid to understand what these code words mean:

Trump laid out a series of elaborate connections between political, corporate, and media elites whose vast conspiracy he claimed included shipping jobs overseas at the expense of American workers and using stories of his past sexual misconduct to prevent him from winning the presidency and robbing them of their power.

“It is a global power structure that is responsible for the economic decisions that have robbed our working class, stripped our country of its wealth and put the money in the pockets of a handful of large corporations and political entities. Just look at what the corrupt establishment has done to our cities like Detroit, Flint, Michigan and rural towns in Pennsylvania, Ohio, North Carolina, and all cross our country. Take a look at what is going on. They’ve stripped away the towns bare and raided the wealth for themselves and taken our jobs away, out of our country, never to return unless I’m elected president,” he said.

“The Clinton machine is at the center of this power structure,” Trump continued. “We have seen this in the WikiLeaks documents in which Hillary Clinton meets in secret with international banks to plot the destruction of U.S. sovereignty in order to enrich these global financial powers, her special interest friends, and her donors.”

I’m shocked he didn’t mention Goldman, Sachs and the Sulzbergers by name. I guess that would be too obviously anti-Semitic for the B3 Brownshirts in charge of the campaign. The whole thing reeks of the post-Great War “stab in the back” conspiracy theory used by the German right to undercut the feeble democracy that replaced autocracy in the interwar period until, that is, the Nazis came to power. Remember: they were elected and once in government they destroyed all democratic institutions. They, too, were into “burning it down.” They set the Reichstag ablaze, blamed it on the Communists, and banned all other political parties.

The good news is that Trump is going to lose; bigly. The bad news is that right-wing extremists have captured one of our major political parties. The B3 Brownshirts are infinitely worse than the teabaggers. I’m not alone in being concerned what happens if a less self-destructive, more intelligent demagogue *continues* the takeover of the Republican Party. It *can* happen here. I never thought I’d say that but I just did.

I think it’s important for those of us who know history to take a firm stand against Trumpism. That’s why I’ve started comparing him to Hitler at his least disciplined. Hitler had the good sense to *keep* the ugly underneath until he had enough support to enact his racist program. Trump has no self-control but he is every bit as ugly, which is why he needs to lose in a landslide. Some of us are worried that he’ll refuse to concede on election eve, whip his supporters into a frenzy, and provoke a sort of American Kristalnacht. The good news is that most Trumpers are, well, pussies and are unlikely to riot if it’s a blow-out. Let’s hope so.

Without His Coward Army Trump is Just a TV Buffoon

You know, one observation before we start the crack van.

I don’t know as many guys like Trump — grabby, gross, sexually harassative creeps who think their money entitles them to whoever they want — as I do guys like Billy Bush.

Guys who’d laugh along with the bully, in order to keep the bully’s focus off them. Guys who’d give the bully every impression of agreeing with whatever vile shit the bully spewed forth, to get out of the room without having to stand up for themselves. Guys who WOULD be afraid to tell their wives they voted for Trump, and afraid to tell their friends they voted for Hillary. I know lots of guys like that.

They think of themselves as good guys. They probably are, for the most part. They just don’t want trouble. They don’t want raised voices. They don’t want anybody to be upset out loud. They don’t want to rock the boat. They don’t want to tell the bully he’s a bully, because then the bully might bully them.

That instinct is stronger than whatever love they might have for the women in their lives. That cowardly, passive-aggressive, entirely understandable, weak, HUMAN instinct is stronger than the instinct to defend their wives, daughters, sisters, mothers. It’s stronger than their instinct to defend themselves from being the kind of people who let a bully treat those women poorly. It’s stronger than just about every other impulse of which the human mind and heart are capable.

So they say survivors are making it up. They say everybody talks like that. They laugh along with the rape jokes and every last one of them has a story in his head about how next time, next time they’re going to stand up and say knock it off, asshole, that’s not okay. Every last one of them has a fantasy about socking the bully right in the jaw. None of them do it. They tell themselves they can’t. They have to work with that guy. They have to see him at family dinners. They can’t say what they’d really like to say.

They’ll make those excuses all the way to the ballot box and if there are enough guys like this they can ruin the entire country. Lots of people — lots of women — would say they already have.

A.

Pepe Le Puke Meets David Duke

48807968-cached

This was originally supposed to be a minor treatise on the alt-right and its mascot Pepe the frog. I planned to post some images of the badly drawn cartoon frog to illustrate my point.  I retreated from the treatise notion when I perused the erstwhile Gret Stet Fuhrer’s twitter feed. It turns out that “Doctor” Duke has glommed on to many alt-right themes and memes. In short, there was no need to download racist propaganda to my computer when Dukkke got there first.

I would, however, like to apologize to one of my all-time favorite toons, Pepe Le Pew, for basing my nickname for the alt-right frog on his moniker. Pepe Le Pew may have been a skunk but he was never a racist stinker like Pepe Le Puke.  He just wanted to be loved.

Before posting some Dukke tweets, here’s Rachel Maddow’s televised takedown of the alt-right and Pepe Le Puke:

I am continually amazed that American right-wing extremists use Nazi imagery. The Nazis were among history’s greatest LOSERS. Their Nazi fetish is something wingnuts tend to keep under wraps, but they find it impossible NOT to put Pepe Le Puke in a picklelhaube: you know, one of those spiky Prussian helmets worn by guys named Helmut. I’m glad that Word Press doesn’t impose Otto Incorrect on its users. The mind reels at how it would spell pickelhaube…

I’ve been putting this off, but it’s time to dive into the cesspool that is “Doctor” David Duke’s timeline. The first tweet requires some explanation. ZOG is an anti-Semitic acronym for Zionist Occupation Government:

There’s more of this depolrable nonsense on Duke’s timeline but I don’t want to make you Le Puke, Le Barf, or Le Hurl. One would hardly know that he’s running for the Gret Stet hooker seat in the Senate. He spends more time plugging Trump than attacking his opponents including accused john, Charles Boustany. That reminds me of one of Edwin Edwards’ classic lines about Duke from the 1991 Goober race:

“The only thing we have in common is we’re both wizards under the sheets.”

I guess Doctor/Congressman Boustany won’t go there. It might make him Pepe Le Puke…

Once again, I’d like to apologize to Pepe Le Pew. He doesn’t deserve having his name linked to a notorious cartoon frog so, as a consolation prize, I’ll give the French stinker the last word:

Once again, I lied about the whole last word thing. Contrasting the awfulness of Pepe Le Puke to the awesomeness of Pepe Le Pew gave me an earworm. I’ll let Peter Wolf and the J. Geils Band have the *real* last word:

 

Malaka Of The Week: Paul LePage

LePage meme

I’ve come close to anointing Maine Governor Paul LePage malaka of the week quite a few times over the last 6 years. It’s certainly not because of a lack of malakatude. He’s been bringing the crazy to the American political scene since 2010. And that is why Paul LePage is malaka of the week.

First, I have to give credit where credit is due for the nickname, the Human Bowling Jacket. LePage’s fellow New Englander Charlie Pierce came up with it, and I’ve stolen it on several occasions. You threw a strike, sir.

Let’s move on to the Mainer Malaka’s latest verbal gutterball. It involves a phone message he left for a state legislator who criticized racially charged comments he made about auslander out-of-state criminals.

“Mr. Gattine, this is Gov. Paul Richard LePage,” a recording of the governor’s phone message says. “I would like to talk to you about your comments about my being a racist, you cocksucker. I want to talk to you. I want you to prove that I’m a racist. I’ve spent my life helping black people and you little son-of-a-bitch, socialist cocksucker. You … I need you to, just friggin. I want you to record this and make it public because I am after you. Thank you.”

The Portland Press-Herald deleted the Mainer Malaka’s expletives. I re-inserted them. They did, however, post a recording of his rant:

Don’t you love how he closes by saying thank you? I guess his mama raised him right except for the whole cursing and invective thing. #sarcasm. The content of the rant makes me wonder if he’s the love child of Phyllis Schafly and Al Swearingen, cocksucker was the Deadwood super-villain’s favorite insult as well:

LePage was an early Trump supporter but one has to wonder if he’s jealous that the Insult Comedian has cornered the market on political crazy. On June 29, 2015 TPM ran an article entitled 5 Times Paul LePage Truly Lived Up To The Title Of America’s Favorite Gov. This was the number-one pick and my personal favorite:

‘Giving it to the people without Vaseline’

During a heated budget battle in 2013, LePage said then-state Senate Majority Leader Troy Jackson (D) “claims to be for the people but he’s the first one to give it to the people without providing Vaseline.”

The off-color remark has followed LePage ever since. Earlier this year, a former Democratic mayor and state legislator tossed a jar of Vaseline at the governor during a town hall meeting, bringing the event to a premature end.

It’s good that he upholds the dignity of his office even as others attempt to grease the skids for his departure.

LePage subsequently issued a non-apology apology for the “little son-of-a-bitch socialist cocksucker” remark:

“I would like to apologize to the people of the state of Maine for having heard the voicemail I left for Rep. [Drew] Gattine,” LePage said to reporters today. And despite being heard on the voicemail to Gattine saying, “I want you to record this and make it public,” the governor went on to tell reporters today: “It was intended for his ears and his ears only.”

LePage continues to maintain he has “binders full of pictures” of non-Mainer drug dealers:

“I don’t ask them to come to Maine to sell their poison but they come. And I will tell you, that 90-plus percent of those pictures in my book — and it’s a three-ring binder — are black and Hispanic people from Waterbury, Connecticut; the Bronx; and Brooklyn,” LePage said.

Binders full of drug dealers? Does that ring a bell with anyone?

Mittbot binders

Like Willard Mittbot Romney, Paul LePage is full of something else. He refuses to resign and the State Lege is, once again, threatening impeachment, but it’s unlikely to happen even after the Portland Press Herald apologized to America for their teabagger Governor:

Dear America: Maine here. Please forgive us – we made a terrible mistake. We managed to elect and re-elect a governor who is unfit for high office.

He has a gruff exterior and blunt way of talking that some of us find refreshing, but he has shown again and again that he governs by grudge, and uses his power to beat up on people who cannot fight back.

I guess that makes the Press Herald’s editorial board little socialist cocksuckers as well. In addition to his binder full of minority felons, the Mainer Malaka claims that he’s “helped black people all his life.” That’s the politician’s variation on the old bigot’s theme: some of my best friend are black. Of course, in the Mainer Malaka’s case they’re all named “D-Money, Smoothie, and Shifty.” And that is why the Human Bowling Jacket aka Paul LePage is malaka of the week.

I bet he hasn’t lost the Vagenda of Manocide guys. Here’s another of their greatest hits:

maine sign photo-5

Master Of Disaster

I’ve spent a lot of time studying Donald Trump. I forced myself to watch 5 seasons of the Apprentice, which is an unreal reality show that was designed to feed Trump’s massive ego. It’s a metaphor for his entire approach to life as well as his candidacy. He believes that he has a divine right to be the center of attention at all times. If he’s not, he foments chaos that focuses attention back where it belongs: on him. That’s what happened yesterday when Trump had the MSM and the so-called Republican establishment running around like chickens with their heads cut off. He was once again in the spotlight, proving that he’s the master of disaster.

There was a lot of silly talk about Trump quitting the race or being forced out by the so-called Republican establishment. It was spread by many of the media outlets who bought the same bill of goods when it was sold by the #NeverTrump crowd. Trump’s position is much stronger now: he’s the GOP nominee. His poll numbers may be sinking but he’s on the ballot. He’s not quitting the race, and under Republican party rules he cannot be replaced involuntarily. Imagine the reaction of his diehard supporters. That’s one of many reasons it will not happen. They’re stuck with him

The so-called Republican establishment is afraid of its base. They have been for many years: remember how they kowtowed to the Teabaggers? That has not changed during this election cycle.  If they wanted to stop Trump, it had to be done earlier and more forcefully. Instead, they cried like that baby that Trump threw out of the rally the other day. Does anyone really think that Reince Priebus has either the stature or the balls to make the Insult Comedian quit or mend his ways? He’s a pissant from Wisconsin who was more upset by criticism of Paul Ryan than slander against a gold star family. Mayor 9/11 and Newt are already turning on one another over the Trump “intervention” stories. They’re stuck with him.

It’s amazing to me how many people think Trump can be treated like a normal person. He’s armored with self-delusion and surrounded by yes men because that’s how he likes it. I believe all the stories about staff despair; it’s what happens to people obliged to work for a man with narcissistic personality disorder. Staffers usually don’t revolt on a losing campaign until mid-October. Trump’s talents as a master of disaster cannot be understated. They’re stuck with him.

Donald Trump ran for the Presidency so that he could be the center of attention. He thinks that his campaign is doing well because he has big crowds. He thinks that all publicity is good. He will never pivot. He will never quit the race. That would make him the losingest loser who ever lost. Roger Stone is ready to whip up the Trumpers into a violent frenzy if a coup is attempted. They’re stuck with the master of disaster.

The last word goes to John Hiatt: “Now he’s just a mean old bastard when he plays the blues.”

On Fighting For Those Who Fight Against You

Charlie: 

Before beginning, and in fairness to the good people of Menomonie, Wisconsin, whose voting record we examined earlier Tuesday afternoon, let us remember that Texas is the home office for climate denialists among our elected representatives.

It begins at the top with Tailgunner Ted Cruz, who’s been spouting the stupid on this subject heavily for the last few weeks. It runs down through Governor Greg Abbott and indicted attorney general Ken Paxton. And it runs deeply through the Texas congressional delegation, which includes some leading intellectual giants like Lamar Smith and Louie Gohmert, although, to be fair to those other worthies, Gohmert doesn’t know much about anything, so it’s almost unfair to include him here.

I mention this only because Houston is about to turn into a really bad Kevin Costner film and the climate crisis is one of the main reasons why.

And so fucking what? Look, this Vox piece was a load of false-equivalence crap, so stop acting it out by yelling I Told You So before people are even dried off. The people who already believe you don’t need the reminder and the people who don’t aren’t reading you anyway.

These are pretty typical comments when it comes to federal aid for Houston and its environs: 

Can we please ask the Federal Government – in the form of one specific person, teh Communist Muslim Overlord – to say yes to Texas …. as long as they ask on the White House lawn in front of the full array of tv cameras and it must run as the head story on a certain ‘news’ program?

Just for once can we rub their noses in it?


Wait, can’t you just shoot the flood with your concealed handgun?


Karma. It’s a bitch.


Ideally, authorizations for these monies should be at the periodic discretion of the President, as chief executive, as to whether it is needed.

The next election will be held Tuesday 8 Nov 2016. Said authorisations should be arranged so they ALL go up to the President Nov 9 or 10. And those places plumping for Republicans (the Party of Small Government) should get all aid cut until 20 Jan 2017, when the new President can do as he or she wants.

I get it.

America is hard to love right now.

Three out of every ten of us who vote are going to vote for Donald Trump. Four of every ten of us haven’t quite cottoned to the idea of women or gay people being citizens under the law, and people are spending lots of time figuring out how to assure themselves that they are in charge of where men and women go to the bathroom. Like, lots of time. The space race took up fewer mental meters than this bathroom crap does.

Thanks to the Internet, we now see that our racist uncle is everybody’s racist uncle, and thanks to news organizations thinking they are just Internets and have to tell us what our racist uncle thinks, too, we hear so much hate all day long. That Vox trash fire wasn’t wrong about the ease of seeing loathing. We see every dumbass meme about Obama killing jobs by forcing people to buy different light bulbs and we see the comments applauding those dumbass memes. What of the news we’re forced to watch in doctors’ offices or wherever is pretty stupid. It’s like the point in your family Christmas party where everybody’s drunk is always going on.

Hard to love that. So, so hard.

GRIT YOUR DAMN TEETH, AND DO IT ANYWAY.

Because: What is the alternative?

I guess we could stop voting. I guess we could stop calling and writing and working and campaigning. I guess we could pretend we know who everybody in Houston voted for, or maybe check their records, before we tow their cars out of the floodwaters. I guess we could repeal Obamacare for the red states, because to hell with those people anyway, right? I guess we could withdraw all federal services from states whose governors seem to hate the federal government, and teach those people a lesson.

I guess at a certain point we could give up even thinking about this crap, and watch TV. It’s been a rough, punishing 6 months and all I do is work. I would like to watch TV.

It’s Sunday morning. Love your enemies. Do good to those who persecute you.

Moreover: Do good to those who persecute themselves, for no damn good reason other than screw some imagined minority somewhere, or they can’t be bothered to find out that the ACA and Obamacare are the same thing, or they don’t see a point to voting because THE SYSTEM MAN, or they are just stone-ass dumb and mad. Do good to those who persecute you unless they tell you to go away was not part of the deal.

You want to tell me that a sick baby born in Alabama tomorrow to a couple of poor 15-year-olds bears any responsibility for the state’s shitbag governor? I want that baby to live and be fed and be happy and that baby dying sick and poor does absolutely nothing to change who holds the House of Representatives.

You know what would? Some actual goddamn Democratic money being put into every single legislative district race where Republicans run unopposed year after year after year. Yeah, probably futile and why bother. Because the sick baby, that’s why.

Does America deserve America’s help right now? Probably not. We are a shithead country at the moment. We are full of jerks. But that doesn’t get better if two thirds of us shake our heads and go home because we’re tired. I have news for us all: Not working doesn’t make us any less tired. It just makes us tired, and powerless.

What’s in front of us? A presidential election in which our choices are almost certainly a fairly conservative mainstream politician and ONE OF TWO COMPLETE LUNATICS. In the meantime there will be fires and floods and disasters natural and unnatural, and sick babies and poor kids who need food, and we are not asking how anybody voted before we address any of that. America is hard to love right now.

What’s the alternative?

A.

 

Stand By Your Thug: Team Trump Malakatude Update

Last week chief Trump thug Corey Lewandowski was malaka of the week. Yesterday, he was charged with simpleton simple battery in Jupiter, Florida. Since the Insult Comedian is perfect, he’s backing his thuggish bouncer of a campaign manager and making wild excuses for his inexcusable behavior:

“She was off base,” Trump told CNN’s Anderson Cooper. “She had a pen in her hand, which Secret Service is not liking because they don’t know what it is, whether it’s a little bomb.”

During a Wednesday morning interview on “Fox and Friends,” Trump said Fields was carrying a pen, suggesting that pens were not allowed at the March 8 press conference in Florida where the incident occurred.

“She’s got a pen in her hand, which she’s not supposed to have,” he said. “Secret Service can tell you that.”

Trump also addressed the charges filed against Lewandowski during an interview on Fox News with Sean Hannity. A spokeswoman for the campaign on Tuesday said that Lewandowski would not be fired even if he was convicted of the battery charge.

The manliest of manly men is afraid of a female reporter with a pen? Pens are banned from his events? It should be astonishing that the Insult Comedian is dragging the Secret Service into his web of preposterous lies, but it’s not. It’s what Trump does. We’ve all known people, usually men, who *always* have to be right, and can convince themselves of *anything* to support their delusional infallibility. That’s the Insult Comedian in a wingnutshell. His shamelessly shameful handling of the Fields-Lewandowski incident is one reason that he’s going to be a LOSER in the general election according to Slate’s Jim Newell:

Trump has backed himself into a corner. He has mastered the means of securing a plurality in a Republican primary by bullying and bluster, followed by refusal to back down and portraying that refusal as much-needed strength. But taking steps to ease concerns among Republican voters who aren’t his base, much less with the general electorate, would require running a different campaign—one that might begin with, say, the firing of a campaign manager who lied about battering a female reporter and now faces criminal charges over the incident. Running a different campaign might have meant that he would have never gotten this far in the first place, but it’s what he needs to do if he wants to become president. It would probably require being a different person, perhaps one with a barely sound moral compass. We’ve seen enough to rule out the possibility of that.

In a normal campaign the prime directive is PROTECT THE CANDIDATE, which means that Lewandowski would have stepped down, if not last week, then last night. Trump’s belief that the normal rules of society do not apply to him will be his undoing in the general election. An astonishing 70% of women have a negative opinion of him. I cannot imagine why. #sarcasm

Given the aura of violence surrounding the campaign, it’s not surprising that Team Trump has gone from mansplaining to manhandling. I think only the most blindly devoted among them will buy what he’s selling in this tweet:

A pen bomb? Is that the best you can do, Donald? A pen held by a reporter for a right-wing organ is suddenly contraband? Oy, just oy.

There’s another weird twist to this story involving Lewandowski’s lawyer. Here’s my headline: FLORIDA LAWYER BIT A STRIPPER IN 1996.

It’s just another day on the Trump campaign.

I originally planned to give Tammy Wynette the last word, but since the Insult Comedian would be afraid of her potentially weaponized big hair, the Lyle Lovett version will have to do; pun intended. He *did* have big hair back in the ’80’s and ’90’s, but he’s not a femme fatale:

Just substitute thug for man and Bob’s your uncle. Btw, I have no idea why there’s an image of four Asian dudes on that video. I guess the Trumpian surreality is contagious. So it goes.

Malaka Of The Week: Corey Lewandowski

Malakatude

The Insult Comedian and Trump’s Trump. Photo by Joe Skipper/Reuters,

Stories about campaign managers usually describe how shrewd they are but 2016 is not an ordinary year. I’ve never compared a campaign manager to a bouncer before but that’s what Corey Lewandowski of Team Trump reminds me of. And that’s why he’s malaka of the week.

Like his candidate, Lewandowski acts like a professional rasslin’ villain. I only hope Gawker or TMZ don’t have a Hulk Hogan-like sex tape of this mook. Like the Hulkster, I suspect Malaka Corey shouts the odd racial epithet whilst in the throes of unspeakable passion but I digress. This lout, who is best described at Trump’s Trump, popped his cork the other day when BuzzFeed kicked him in the bollocks with a detailed account of his persistent misogynistic malakatude:

As Donald Trump faces questions about his campaign manager’s physical altercation with a protester over the weekend, BuzzFeed News has learned new details about the hard-charging operative’s behavior that raise questions about his judgment and the environment inside the Trump campaign.

In recent interviews with more than half a dozen sources who have worked with Trump’s top aide, Corey Lewandowski, the strategist was accused of pushing a CNN reporter who tried to ask the candidate a question; physically confronting an aide for a rival campaign in a post-debate spin room; publicly shouting threats over the phone at a restaurant; making sexual comments about female journalists; and calling up women in the campaign press corps late at night to make unwanted romantic advances.

Asked Monday for comment on these allegations, Lewandowski emailed, “Your story is factually inaccurate.” When BuzzFeed news asked him to clarify which portions of the story he was challenging, he wrote, “Be sure before you accuse me of something it’s accurate. And, in these instances you are wrong.”

Lie and deny is central to Team Trump’s modus operandi. They lie so much that the reporters covering them are unable to keep up with the daily flow of sewerage. There are so many lies that it would be like trying to measure blood at a busy abattoir. It’s appropriate that all my analogies are disgusting. It’s the Insult Comedian’s favorite word, after all. His campaign manager is a DISGUSTING LOSER.

I’ve written some harsh things about political consultants, handlers, and flacks over the years, but I’ve never called one a thug or goon before. Lewandowski is more like Paulie Walnuts than Karl Rove even if he’s on the road to having Turd Blossom’s hair instead of Paulie’s.

There was apparently a point at which the Insult Comedian’s staff was on the verge of rebelling against Malaka Corey but then they started winning. The Insult Comedian likes WINNERS, so the coup never came off. But Lewandowski’s reputation for vulgar, bad, and boorish behavior dates to his time as a Kochsucker with Americans for Prosperity:

Lewandowski rebounded from running former New Hampshire Sen. Bob Smith’s failed 2002 re-election campaign to a job with AFP, where he eventually rose to regional director for East Coast operations during his more than five years with the group.

While one former coworker called Lewandowski a “cowboy” who lent AFP a “cool factor,” he was reportedly known for heated exchanges with those who crossed him. He reportedly fell out of favor with the group after he loudly berated a female employee who challenged him during an October 2013 board meeting in Manhattan. Three anonymous sources told Politico how Lewandowski proceeded to get in the woman’s personal space and called her a “cunt” in front of fellow AFP employees, including senior officials.

This is the man who has become Trump’s very hands-on right-hand (wing?) man. And we know that the Insult Comedian never apologizes even when he’s egregiously wrong. It’s something he has in common with Dick Cheney; that and a love of torture. I’d like to see Trump and Malaka Corey waterboarded to see if they think it’s torture. Of course, that would muss the Trumpian cotton candy piss coiff so it will never happen.

The newfound prominence of a violent creep like Corey Lewandowski shows that the barbarians are truly at the gate. The feckless #NeverTrump gang show few signs of being able to stop the barbarian hordes from overrunning their party. It’s up to the Democrats to keep Corey Lewandowski from turning the West Wing into an adjunct of the WWE. It’s time to thump Trump’s Trump. He’s a dangerous sexist thug who shouldn’t be allowed  to take the White House tour let alone work there. And that’s why Corey Lewandoski is malaka of the week.

On Standing Up

I have new neighbors.

All I knew about them until a few weeks ago was that they had tiny children, wore hijabs and said hello as we passed one another in the alley. That’s my relationship with most of my neighbors, to be honest, especially in the winter months when we all just want to get inside as quickly as possible.

A few weeks ago, however, we had dinner. They only moved here a few years ago, for work and school. We talked about our kids, about schools, about learning other languages and our first encounters with other cultures. Kick and their daughter chased each other down the hall.

We didn’t talk about Trump directly. I can’t imagine what right now looks like to them. If this was the first thing you saw, was this man on TV saying you were dangerous, should be deported, should be detained, how would you feel about your new home?

I have a work colleague from overseas who was doing some shopping in the far-flung Chicago suburbs. As she was leaving a strip mall (is there anything more American to do in the world?) a man yelled at her to “go back to your fucking country.”

This is a tremendously talented and confident woman, who navigates the world with grace, kindness and unshakeable good humor, but that shook her, and it hurt to see.

I am the whitest white girl in the history of whiteness, and I could probably walk right into a Trump rally, speak with my thickest Wisconsin accent, and fit right in. Nobody would say boo to me if I didn’t say anything to them. I can cover up the tattoos.

I do not have one tenth the courage of these people.

 

The day after the Trump rally there was the usual bellyaching on the Internet about whether protesting was really a good thing, and lots of butchering of “free speech” and “how would you feel if this was Trump protesters taking over a Hillary rally” and blah blah blah de blah. There was lots of motive-checking of the protesters, lots of “both sides” and “shouldn’t they have worn nicer outfits and not yelled so rudely,” the usual Monday morning quarterbacking from people who won’t miss a meal if Trump is elected. And you know what? Fuck all that shit.

Ignoring ugliness is how we got here. Ignoring those who stood up to ugliness is how we got here. Disavowing those who stood up to ugliness is how we got here. Publicly worrying about how it would look to be such filthy hippies as to be on the side of human dignity is how we got here, after two decades of war and tax cuts and pretending racism was dead. Being nice and being quiet and hoping not to be hit is how we got here.

For years and years Democrats and other liberals played along and compromised and voted for Republican proposals in hopes they wouldn’t call us flag-burning faggot peace-freaks. We kept our powder dry and didn’t fight the tough fights and worried about elections and mouthed pleasantries at war criminals at parties, and voted enthusiastically for endless wars. We did everything they wanted us to do.

Guess what? They called us flag-burning faggot peace-freaks (who hate babies and Christmas and police officers) ANYWAY. We have a nice moderate Republican president at the moment, and the GOP calls him a Kenyan-born gay prostitute who has “destroyed” America’s military and smokes crack in the White House. That it’s now coming from the podium instead of the cheap seats doesn’t really concern me as much as that it’s still coming. We sat down and shut up and minded the optics and how’d it work out?

Shitty, thanks for asking.

So in the face of that, the sight of thousands of people packing an auditorium to say no to hate (even if they said it loudly, even if they hit back when they got hit, even if their signs and T-shirts were rude) was goddamn necessary. It was necessary for the people who were there and it was necessary for the people who couldn’t be there, and I will get to worrying about what was in the heads of every single protester when the election is over and this small, angry, miserable nucleus of what used to be a party is buried at the crossroads where the devil can find it with ease.

There are two reasons you stand up, okay?

The first is a selfish one. At some point in your future life, you are going to have to reckon with your actions. You are going to have to get up each day and either live the life you are able to live, speaking when you had something to say, or you are going to have to construct a cage made of stories and excuses for all the things you didn’t say. You die in pieces that way. You know it. You’ve watched it happen to far too many people you love. So for the sake of unraveling the knot that forms under your breastbone when you stay silent about something that matters, you are going to have to stand up.

The second, though? The second reason you stand up?

Is for anybody who isn’t standing up.

For anybody scared, anybody hurt, anybody who couldn’t leave his or her house.

For anybody who has less power than you. For anybody who can’t take off work, or doesn’t have documents, or has no childcare, or wouldn’t survive a rough night.

For anybody watching at home wondering if anybody out there is on his side at all.

You stand up to say to them, this isn’t everybody. You stand up to say to them, you are safe, or as safe as me and mine can make you. You stand up to say to them, you’re heard, you’re loved, you’re valued. The ugliness is just one set of voices. There is another, and it is loud and clear.

You stand up so they see you standing up, and know they are a little less alone.

A.

“Obsession” special – vaffanculo fool-o

OK folks – I’m calling for a pre-emptive strike on Freeperville.

Why?

Oh, I dunno – maybe that they have well and truly LOST THEIR FUCKING MINDS!

Senior U.S. Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia found dead at West Texas ranch
My San Antonio ^ | Updated 3:53 pm, Saturday, February 13, 2016 | Gary Martin

Posted on ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎3‎:‎55‎:‎56‎ ‎PM by Pan_Yan

Associate Justice Antonin Scalia was found dead of apparent natural causes Saturday on a luxury resort in West Texas, federal officials said.

Scalia, 79, was a guest at the Cibolo Creek Ranch, a resort in the Big Bend region south of Marfa. According to a report, Scalia arrived at the ranch on Friday and attended a private party with about 40 people. When he did not appear for breakfast, a person associated with the ranch went to his room and found a body.

U.S. District Judge Fred Biery said he was among those notified about Scalia’s death.

“I was told it was this morning,” Biery said of Scalia’s death. “It happened on a ranch out near Marfa. As far as the details, I think it’s pretty vague right now as to how,” he said. “My reaction is it’s really unfortunate with any death. And now, politically, in the presidential cycle we’re in my educated guess is nothing will happen before the next president is elected.”

1 posted on 2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎3‎:‎55‎:‎56‎ ‎PM by Pan_Yan

To be sure, the first few posts are devoted to hair-rending:

To: Pan_Yan

 

o dear god no the court will swing full lib now

2 posted on 2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎3‎:‎58‎:‎51‎ ‎PM by jneesy (rough seas make skillful sailors)

To: 20yearsofinternet

 

Damn! Can we delay Obama’s appointment, whomever it may be? Will the GOP even stand up THAT much?!

6 posted on 2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎02‎:‎06‎ ‎PM by austinaero

To: Pan_Yan

Complete shock.

8 posted on 2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎02‎:‎45‎ ‎PM by Jane Long (Go Trump, go! Make America Safe Again 🙂

Tears
.
And how many posts in do you think we’ll get before the batshit crazies arrive?
To: Pan_Yan

 

Who was there? Who had ties to the WH?

12 posted on 2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎03‎:‎11‎ ‎PM by Chickensoup (Leftism is the biggest killer of citizens in the world.)

Twelve posts.
Twelve.
Seven minutes after the  original post
To: Pan_Yan

 

Scalia is the man who started the investigation into Hillary.

13 posted on 2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎03‎:‎23‎ ‎PM by combat_boots (The Lion of Judah cometh. Hallelujah. Gloria Patri, Filio et Spiritui Sancto!)
I had no idea that Supreme Court justices started investigations. Would that be an investigation by the Secret Supreme Court Police (the SSCP)?
.
Oh? There’s no such thing?
To: Pan_Yan

 

Pelican Brief

31 posted on 2‎/‎13‎/‎2016‎ ‎4‎:‎04‎:‎46‎ ‎PM by john316 (JOSHUA 24:15 …choose you this day whom ye will serve…)

pelican

 

The crazy (and the hair-tearing) continues after this brief (heh – get it?) intermission:

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , ,

First World Problems

Meanwhile in Oregon, it seems to be Festivus:

After the group’s leader, Ammon Bundy, was arrested last week along with numerous members of the militia, he called on the remaining occupiers to leave the refuge. However, a small group refuses to go home. They have said they will not leave until the FBI guarantees that they will not be arrested. Law enforcement has set up checkpoints outside of the refuge and will not allow media to enter, much to the occupiers’ dismay, according to Oregon Public Broadcasting.

The remaining militiamen have issued a call to arms for their supporters, and an outside patriot group on Friday urged Americans to join the militia at the refuge to “air our grievances.”

As my long-time readers know, there’s nothing I like more than unintentional comedy. It’s hilarious to hear these manly macho men whine about internet service. Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think they had wi-fi at the Alamo. Of course, most of its defenders died in combat whereas these bozos are merely dying of boredom and malakatude. These fake cowboys are more like the real life John Wayne who was a draft dodging chickenhawk than his tough as nails screen persona. Some call them insurrectionists, I call them whiny, titty babies. Pitiful.

It’s way past time for these cretins to pack it in, leave, and face the consequences of their impulsive actions. There should be no deals, no how, no way. Every time they whine, I’m reminded of a certain Warren Zevon song, so I’ll give him the last word:

Winging It With The Insult Comedian

650

Cartoon by the Guardian’s Steve Bell.

I originally planned to write a post about Donald Trump called F is for Fatuous, Not Fascist. Then he went farther than even he had gone before with his latest bombast. I still think the Nazi/Hitler analogies are overwrought and inapposite: Hitler was a true believer and Trump makes shit up on the fly. If we must go there, Trump’s latest bit of demagogy is more reminiscent of Mussolini who was an opportunist without a plan. He swung from the pacifist far Left to the warmongering far Right at the drop of a top hat in order to obtain power. Like Trump, Il Duce was once a very popular figure in the US and A. And like Trump, Il Duce was winging it.

Trump’s tendency to spout off and utter unfiltered bullshit is the most alarming thing about his candidacy, not his ideology. The Insult Comedian has no ideology: the only thing he believes in is himself and the roar of the crowd. The last thing a country with the world’s largest military needs is a guy who wings it as the Oval One. Impulse control is a very important quality for any President to have. The Insult Comedian has none, he’s like the kid who eats all his Halloween candy in one sitting and wonders why he’s puking his guts out.

Presidents without impulse control tend to get us into big trouble. The most recent example was W and his Mesopotamian misadventure, but Nixon nearly intervened in the Yom Kippur War whilst in a drunken stupor. Tricky Dick obviously had no impulse control. Then there was the most overrated President in American history: Andrew Jackson. Old Hickory woke up mad and got angrier as the day progressed. Oddly enough, Jack Kennedy had NO impulse control in his private life but was cautious where it mattered.

I must admit to a bit of schadenfreude over the MSM’s hand wringing over Trump’s frontrunner status. They helped to create this monster by giving him such lavish free coverage, and allowing this silly billy to call into their teevee shows willy nilly. It fed his massive ego and made him almost the equal, in terms of coverage, to the sitting President. It’s what Fox had in mind, CNN and the rest just stumbled blindly into the Trumpian trap or is that temptation?

The reason Trump is still riding high is that, like any good demagogue, he’s tapped into the dark underbelly of the American psyche. The Republican base has been primed for this sort of nonsense ever since the Goldwater campaign in 1964. Yes, it’s been that long in coming. It’s why a substantial slice of GOP voters are doing the most outrageous thing imaginable and telling pollsters they support a rich, obnoxious Insult Comedian with no impulse control.

I saw an interesting piece on MSNBC the other night. The reporter was asking Trumpites if they still supported him after the ban Muslims flap. There was much reaffirmation of fealty followed by statements like this, “He speaks his mind. He says what he believes.” Wrong. He says what YOU believe and speaks YOUR mind. He’s a wingnut weathervane.

Despite being a narcissistic windbag who never shuts the fuck up, Trump has an uncanny knack for reading people and telling them what they want to hear. Trump only believes in Trump: he doesn’t give a shit what some redneck in Alabama thinks. He’s a pander bear in true believer drag. It’s like the Kinks song, he gives the people what they want:

I’m not exactly sure how the whole Trump phenomenon will play out. It reminds me of something Robert Kennedy once said about Nixon reflecting “the dark side of the American soul.” The only question is how many people are willing to follow Trump off the cliff and into a general election rout. I still think Trump’s WWF bad guy style approach will blow up in his face sooner rather than later, BUT there is a chance that he will be the Republican nominee if I’m wrong about that. As cynical as I come off, I don’t think there are as many hardcore assholes out there who are willing to turn the nuclear suitcase over to this bozo as some people seem to think. As Trump himself might say: HE’S A LOSER.

Since the Insult Comedian was originally the creation of the tabloids, I’ll give the New York Daily News the last word:

NYDN 12-9-15

INSTANT UPDATE: While I was working on this piece, Josh Marshall posted Know Your Fascist Dictators comparing Trump to Mussolini. Great minds and all that jazz.

What goes into creating an “Obsession” post

Hi, good people! Ms. A has given me permission to take a mental health day (week). Here’s what prompted it:

In the middle of a “Kill all the ragheads” thread (which is about all there is on Free Republic lately):

To: robowombat

You can kill them, you can bomb them, you can even nuke them, but until the magic space rock in Mecca is turned into a sizzling pile of oozing glass, there will always be more of them.

13 posted on 11/18/2015, 11:43:24 PM by tcrlaf (They told me it could never happen in America. And then it did….)

Another Freeper tried to point out that this is making common cause with daesh, but nobody noticed or responded to him :

To: tcrlaf
“but until the magic space rock in Mecca is turned into a sizzling pile of oozing glass, there will always be more of them.”

Actually that’s what ISIS wants, they think it represents Idolatry, instead of “true” Islam.

14 posted on 11/18/2015, 11:44:40 PM by dfwgator

That’s when I realized that I just couldn’t do it this week.

Here’s why:

The posts you see every Monday morning take from 1.5 to 3 hours to compose (and debug/edit spacing and fonts), but that’s not the hard part.

The hard part is wading through the muck in the first place.

I browse Freeperville every other day or so. It’s a target-rich environment, and my trouble is not finding stupidity, but having to read so much of it to select the little nuggets you see here on First Draft. Selecting the threads is only the first step. Now I have to read up to 1,000 comments on each one.  All of them. Then I select the comments I’m going to use, and in which order. This means reading them again. Then, and only then, I can start assembling the post.

Some days I do it with a smile on my face, some days I just sit here, jaw agape like a Tex Avery Bulldog, trying to fathom how these people can even exist. Last week I had one of the Bulldog days.

I’ll be back next Monday, even if it means mining some old threads for fool fodder. Perhaps in the intervening week, the Freepers will have moved on from wanting to nuke Mecca to wanting to nuke Belgium.

 

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Louisiana Politics: Gret Stet Goober Race Wrap Up Act Two

I had a classic blogger moment on social media this morning. An old friend in California asked me how it was possible that David Vitter lost because she’d heard he was a shoo-in. I told her to read my posts and to ignore the national MSM. They have an eerie tendency to engage in group think: Louisiana is a red state therefore it’s impossible for such a thing to happen. This is classic rotation in office, after 8 years of a GOP Goober making a mess of things, the voters elected a Democrat. So many people are locked into the Red state/Blue state narrative that they forget candidates and records matter. That ends this brief lecture on civics.

Let’s get on with some random and discursive comments via my beloved sub-headers:

The Polls Were Right: Many of my friends were freaking out before the election because they expected the worst of the electorate. I could not blame them. Underneath my calm exterior, the hateful refugee baiting made me feel as if I’d consumed 12 cups of coffee. Jittery and overcaffeinated. I fell back on Andrew Tuozzolo’s poll aggregate, which showed Vitter trailing by 12 points. The pollsters nailed it.

Why were the polls right here and not in the Bevin-Conway Kentucky Goober race? The polls there were fewer in number and conducted more sporadically. Politics in the Gret Stet is a major form of entertainment, which means that more frequent pulse taking is no gret surprise…

The Picayune Factor: Once again, the Vestigial-Picayune got it wrong in a glowing endorsement of Bitter Vitter. Instead of being honest and saying, “he may be an asshole but he’s our asshole,” they went on and on about his effectiveness. They came within an inch of calling him a divider, not a uniter. Some uniter, he lost his home parish.

Speaking of the Zombie-Picayune, my friend Kevin Allman has this to say about that:

Let me spell it out: Fuck you sideways, Advance Media fuckheads. The picture in question came from the Instagram page of one of JBE’s communications peeps:

12237242_185437431798324_719992555_n

Photograph via MP Kray.

Since our next section involves half of what you see in the picture below, we’ll discuss it after the break. Think of it as the blogging equivalent of wrapping it in plain brown paper if you catch my drift. But first Welcome to Sleazy Town courtesy of the Krewe of Spank:

Hookers & Blow

Continue reading

Ben Carson’s Brain Hurts

The wheels may finally be coming off the Ben Carson campaign and I’m not talking about the pyramid thing either as funny as that is:

Ben Carson’s campaign on Friday admitted, in a response to an inquiry from POLITICO, that a central point in his inspirational personal story was fabricated: his application and acceptance into the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.

The academy has occupied a central place in Carson’s tale for years. According to a story told in Carson’s book, “Gifted Hands,” the then-17 year old was introduced in 1969 to Gen. William Westmoreland, who had just ended his command of U.S. forces in Vietnam, and the two dined together. That meeting, according to Carson’s telling, was followed by a “full scholarship” to the military academy.

West Point, however, has no record of Carson applying, much less being extended admission.

“In 1969, those who would have completed the entire process would have received their acceptance letters from the Army Adjutant General,” said Theresa Brinkerhoff, a spokeswoman for the academy. She said West Point has no records that indicate Carson even began the application process. “If he chose to pursue (the application process), then we would have records indicating such,” she said.

When presented with these facts, Carson’s campaign conceded the story was false.

I have no idea how *anyone* can spin these facts in a way that benefits the temporary frontrunner. Even the simple-minded evangelical dolts who support him are bound to find this story troublesome. It’s increasingly looking like Carson’s memoir should be moved to the fiction shelves. The whole “I am a redeemed street thug” story seems to be imploding as well.

I’ve been expecting a Carson collapse. It’s what happens during the silly season before votes are actually cast. His campaign has gone from running on faith to running out of faith.

The real question is who benefits from Carson and the Insult Comedian’s woes? I think it’s Ted Cruz who is well positioned to pick up the biblethumper vote from Carson and the asshole vote from Trump. Cruz has played a sly and devious game during the silly season by attacking neither Trump nor Carson. I didn’t know that Senator Blow Torch had it in him.

In the end, Dr. Carson is looking more and more like these guys:

My brain hurts

Louisiana Politics: The State Of The Gret Stet Goober Runoff

It just occurred to me that goober runoff sounds like something that happens when a white trashy neighbor leaves a box of stryrofoam peanuts (as opposed to Jimmy Webb’s cake) out in the rain. It’s happened to me, actually, I’d rather not go there. I’d prefer to talk about the doings in the Louisiana Governor’s race since I last wrote about it.

There are no new *major* Bitter Vitter scandals. But he was caught subsidizing right-wing blogger and past malaka of the week, Scott McKay of Hayride infamy. According to my main man Lamar White, Team Vitter contributes $1K per month to McKay’s wretched and incoherent site. Apparently, Ahmad Chalabi isn’t the only con artist out there. Speaking of inappropriate Middle Eastern analogies, McKay has compared Democrat John Bel Edwards to al-Qaeda dude, Anwar al-Awlaki. Is that the best y’all have got? If you think comparing Diaper Dave to Jimmy Swaggart is a good idea, no wonder you’re losing. Btw, I am not making up the Vitter-Swaggart thing:

McKay

That concludes this episode of Bad Analogy Theatre.

As longtime readers know, I’m an agnostic when it comes to citing polling data but things are looking pretty good for Mr. Edwards on that front as well. He has double digit leads in the last three Gret Stetwide polls even when African-American turnout is calibrated as low as 20%. Vitter’s attempt to run a racist OBAMA, OBAMA, OBAMA campaign appears not to be working so far. If anything, black voters now know who they should consider voting for because of Vitter’s Obamacentric teevee ads. Hint: it’s not the Senior Senator from Louisiana.

Team Vitter is having a hard time convincing Republicans who supported Scott Just Call Me Angelle of the Morning, and Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne to hop aboard the rickety Vitter bandwagon. The anti-Vitter GumboPac is running this very tough ad featuring the words of Angelle and Dardenne:

Stench and Stain sounds like a sleazy law firm dedicated to ambulance chasing or defending crooked politicians. I wonder if they have a diaper service…

That brings me to today’s political news: Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne crossed party lines and endorsed John Bel Edwards this morning on the LSU Campus. Dardenne finished fourth with 15% of the vote but has won 3 statewide races. This is a big fucking deal: it shows that our politics are getting back to abnormally normal and that the fervid Obama fever spell may be breaking at long last.

In addition to his uncanny resemblance to the British comedian Rowan Atkinson, the other thing I like about Jay Dardenne is that he’s a committed member of the pun community. In fact, he won the vile puns division of the Bulwer-Lytton competition in 2005 with this entry:

Falcon was her name and she was quite the bird of prey, sashaying past her adolescent admirers from one anchor store to another, past the kiosks where earrings longed to lie upon her lobes and sunglasses hoped to nestle on her nose, seemingly the beginning of a beautiful friendship with whomsoever caught the eye of the mall tease, Falcon.

There is no such thing as a vile pun in my estimation. I’m just glad that Dardenne has a sense of humor and the ability to Hammett up after 8 long years of the humor impaired reign of Gov. PBJ.

I mentioned the whole Rowan Atkinson thing, here’s a still from Johnny English:

johnnyenglish2_slider

I don’t have a picture of Dardenne in an action pose so this picture from this morning’s presser at LSU’s Free Speech Alley will have to do:

Photograph by Mark Armstrong.

Photograph by Mark Armstrong.

The runoff campaign has been full of pleasant surprises. Would an Edwards victory have any national implications? Hell no. It’s about PBJ’s reign of error and David Vitter’s malakatude and ickiness. Many national commentators on both the Right and Left are trying to find national significance in teanut Matt Bevin’s upset win in the Kentucky Goober election. (I wonder if their goobers are soaked in Bourbon?) I think they’re all full of shit: it’s a state, not a federal election. Kentucky had a Democratic Governor for the last 8 years and the voters are reacting to that.

Vitter and PBJ hate one another but their politics are identical. They’re goobers in a very wingnutty pod and at least one of them will be out of our political hair next January. Vitter will retain his Senate seat until 2016 and there are already rumors that 3rd place finisher Scott Blue Angelle will rise from the ashes and run for that seat regardless of whether Vitter runs for re-election. More likely than not, that means that Angelle will stay out of the Goober runoff and endorse neither Vitter nor Edwards. It would, however, be much funnier if he endorsed Vitter and had to explain why Diaper Dave’s stench wasn’t rubbing off on him. Scott should just sit this one out and eat Angelle hair pasta and Angelle food cake…

I have gone from cautiously optimistic to fairly confident about the November 21st runoff. If Edwards has a halfway decent GOTV effort, he seems poised to win. My sole worry is that Vitter will cook up a Swift Boat style attack on Edwards’ military record. Otherwise, Vitter’s goose is cooked. It couldn’t happen to a “nicer” guy. Who among us doesn’t enjoy watching a professional asshole finally get their comeuppance?

I’ll give John Hiatt the last word since all the punning on Scott Angelle’s name has given me a raging earworm:

That’s right, somebody just stopped calling you Angelle…