Malaka Of The Week: Lauren Boebert

For many years, I’ve considered Texas GOPer Louie Gohmert Piles the stupidest member of the House of Representatives. He didn’t run for reelection to his seat, running for Texas AG instead. Texas Republicans voted for the crook instead of the moron.

Gohmert Piles will be in the House until December, but the title of stupidest Congresscritter is now held by the pistol packing pinhead from Colorado’s third district. And that is why Lauren Boebert is malaka of the week.

I often call her Lauren Bobo. Bobo is a Spanish word meaning foolish, stupid, and dumb. I should call her a Boba since Bobo is the masculine form, but I use Bobo because of this movie:

Peter Sellers was a smart albeit weird man who played a moronic matador in The Bobo.

Lauren Boebert is a deeply stupid woman who plays a moronic member of Congress. In short, Boebert is a Bobo or is that Boba? The malakatude it burns. It always does.

Malaka Boebert is best known for strapping a holstered pistol to her hip. Like Clarence Thomas, she thinks the Old West was a libertarian paradise. She struts around Capitol Hill like a character in a bad B movie western.

The level of Boebert’s discourse is summed up by this GIF of Calamity Jane in Deadwood:

Malaka Boebert probably thinks she’s more like Doris Day in the 1953 movie musical Calamity Jane:

Of course, Boebert the Bobo would only go to Chicago as a vigilante. She is, however, quite windy.

Clarence Thomas isn’t the only one who doesn’t know anything about the history of gun control; neither does Boebert.

If you think that’s stupid, we’re just getting warmed up.

Malaka Boebert just won her primary election. During the campaign, she tried her hand at being an expert on the constitution and religion. It turns out she’s better at preying than praying:

“The church is supposed to direct the government. The government is not supposed to direct the church. That is not how our Founding Fathers intended it. I’m tired of this separation of church and state junk that’s not in the Constitution. It was in a stinking letter, and it means nothing like what they say it does.”

Separation of church and state junk? Stinking letter?

That junk is in the First Amendment, which also gives Boebert the right to shoot off her big fat stupid bazoo.

The stinking letter was written by Thomas Jefferson. He did not write this song:

Neither did Joe Cocker. Wayne Carson did. He also wrote Always On My Mind but he was no Thomas Jefferson.

I thought teabaggers liked TJ. They certainly like quoting this:

Manure is something Malaka Lauren is intimately familiar with: she’s full of it.

How stupid is Lauren Boebert? So stupid that she didn’t ask to have her name put on the pardon list whereas Gohmert did. And that is why Lauren Boebert is malaka of the week.

The last word goes to those noted constitutional scholars 10cc:

2 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Lauren Boebert

  1. “Lauren Boebert is a deeply stupid woman who plays a moronic member of Congress.”
    Except she’s not playing.

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