Last week I wrote about the glee I was taking in the Reflecting Pool debacle. I noted that it had really become a national story because we could all take some satisfaction in Trump’s failures there because it didn’t hurt anyone.  This week I have a new source of happiness:  the apparent failure of The Great American State Fair.

I remember the bicentennial—I was in my town’s fife and drum corps (yes, very New England) and we marched in parades all over the state. I was so excited to be a part of so many local celebrations on such a historic day. And I had a hope that the country’s 250^th birthday would be something special too.

Then America re-elected President Grievance. Ugh. He stole the money Congress set aside for the national bipartisan celebration. And then his grift group released their vision for the big celebration on the Mall. Remember these?:

And while I made fun of them, with all of the ticky tacky white buildings and the scattering of (all white) people, I honestly did not think that that was what it was going to look like. Boy, was I wrong. Not only do the actual structures look worse than the renderings, but there are actually fewer people there than the meager crowds they had already imagined.

Here’s a video of the poor construction of the fake triumphal arch and Trump’s bragging:

— Eliot Higgins (@eliothiggins.bsky.social) 2026-06-29T10:49:57.316Z

I’m not even going to “imagine if Kamala had won…” this, mainly because I am so happy to see how shitty it is. It’s cheap, crooked, half-assed, and deeply unstable at its core. It is giving the Reflecting Pool a run for its money as the perfect metaphor for the Trump presidency. Yes, that’s right. There’s nobody there. It is glorious.

And there is a reason that no one is there:  there’s nothing to do. The state exhibitions are glorified conference vendor booths with cardboard AI decorations that may or may not have more than just chairs in them. Some Democratic states chose not to pay the $100,000 fee to put something into the space. And yeah, how does it cost $100K when it’s supposed to be free and for the people, and it has $100 million of our tax money already?

And those governors were proven correct when this happened:

Nobody who has been paying attention to the Trump administration’s handling of America’s 250th anniversary should be surprised that a Confederate flag turned up at the Great American State Fair on the National Mall. #CivilWarMemory 🗃️open.substack.com/pub/kevinmle…

— Kevin M. Levin (@civilwarmemory.bsky.social) 2026-06-28T11:33:02.129Z

 

But hey state fairs are about the food right? Not in MAGAland. Funnel cakes? Nope. Hot dogs? Nope. Fried oreos? Nope. Soft serve? Because the banners on the food hall advertise soft serve? Nope.

There are rides though, right? Nope. There is the big Ferris Wheel, with fully-enclosed glass gondolas. It’s almost July in DC. As I write this, the relative humidity here is 74%. Temperatures are going to be in the 100s in this entire area beginning on Wednesday. And this is the single ride at this fair.

Now don’t worry, there are things to do. There is a Secret Service exhibit:

There is a music tent with Christian music. Fun! And you can also get baptized in a full immersion ceremony because nothing says “Welcome everyone!” like forcing Christianity down people’s throats with taxpayer money:

If Paula White isn’t going to be there yapping in tongues and performing exorcisms, I’m not interested.

— Hoodlum 🇺🇸 (@nothoodlum.bsky.social) 2026-06-28T02:09:04.179Z

Wait! The Association of Mature American Citizens is there! And no, this is not an euphemism for FOX News fans. Instead it’s a wingnut group opposed to the AARP and in the true spirit of our bipartisan celebration, they were handing out these:

Today is MAHA Monday so there was…a pancake eating contest:

All of it looks like a blast, doesn’t it? And you can see the crowds for yourself since FOX News is broadcasting live from the fair all week. That is going to be an attraction in and of itself as it gets hotter and more humid each day.

The only thing you need to watch out for is that the fair does randomly close for rain, like yesterday when this sign greeted would-be visitors:

Fair is closed.

— amanda moore 🐢 (@noturtlesoup17.bsky.social) 2026-06-28T18:49:14.234Z

Now the misspelling on the electronic sign notwithstanding (you saw it, right?), the truth of the matter is that MAGA has no idea how to have fun. They don’t know what joy is, which is why they hate ours. They don’t know how to build things, as evidenced by the shoddy plywood fake Trump arch. Their idea of a state fair is a CPAC convention with crappy food, weird displays, and sad sack partisan giveaways. Miserable people cannot produce joyous events. Hopefully we get a do-over with a Democratic president in a few years.

I’ll leave you with this: