Senator Aqua Buddha Strikes Again

Remember when the MSM lionized Rand Paul as the future of American politics? I am not making this up.

His election in 2010 was thought to herald a new era of rightist-leftist fusion, which never happened. In response to this nonsense, I called him a brogressive as well as Senator Aqua Buddha. He was just another teabagger. For the nickname’s origin story, click here. 

Paul’s piss poor performance in the 2016 presidential primaries shattered his brogressive dreams. He did get a comic book out of it as seen in the featured image and below:

After his failed presidential campaign, Aqua Buddha became just another Trumper. He specializes in acting up and out on senate committees.

Rand Paul is his name; performative politics is his game.

During the pandemic’s peak, Aqua Buddha tormented Dr. Fauci with stupid and tendentious questions. It’s all about the soundbite for Ron Paul’s little boy. I halfway expected Fauci to mutter “no wonder this guy’s neighbor kicked his ass” under his breath. It never happened because Tony Fauci is a class act. Rand Paul is not.

Yesterday, Aqua Buddha acted up while “questioning” Secretary of State Anthony Blinken:

“In a contentious exchange at a congressional hearing Tuesday, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) told Secretary of State Antony Blinken that U.S. support for Ukraine to join NATO contributed to Russia’s decision to invade. Blinken vehemently objected to Paul’s remarks, which were also criticized by Russia experts.

Paul, a libertarian-leaning lawmaker and longtime critic of U.S. foreign policy, said that both Republican and Democratic administrations had been “agitating” for Ukraine to join the security bloc — an outcome that Russian President Vladimir Putin has called a red line.

“While there is no justification for Putin’s war on Ukraine, it does not follow that there is no explanation for the invasion,” Paul told Blinken during a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing. “You could also argue that the countries that it has attacked were … part of the Soviet Union,” the senator said; Putin has long wanted a “sphere of influence” over former Soviet states.”

Cold War Republicans would have called Aqua Buddha either a fifth columnist or fellow traveler for pushing the Putin line. It’s all in a day’s work for Senator Aqua Buddha.

Rand Paul is his name; performative politics is his game.

Aqua Buddha believes neither in self-determination nor democracy. Ukraine has a right to decide its own destiny free from interference by useless idiots like Rand Paul.

The best response to Aqua Buddha’s malakatude came from Alexander Vindman:

“By that logic, Britain is justified in attacking the U.S. and colonial powers their former holdings. What century does he live in?”

What can you expect from a guy whose father named him after Ayn Rand? In between writing dreadful prose, Ayn Rand defended all sorts of horrors. She was a huge fan of the breakaway racist regime in Rhodesia and thought South African apartheid was swell. Freedom, man?

I hate to give Senator Aqua Buddha the attention he craves but I cannot help myself. He was one of my favorite targets from 2010-2016. His crappy 2016 campaign inspired one of my favorite post titles: Aqua Buddha’s Faltering Campaign Needs More Aqua Buddies.

Words to live by: we all need more aqua buddies.

Repeat after me: Rand Paul is his name; performative politics is his game.

The last word goes to David Bowie:


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