Fauci Calls A Moron A Moron

Dr. Anthony Fauci rock star physician and all around badass appeared before the Senate HELP committee yesterday. He was anything but helpless as Republican senators insulted him thereby proving their Trumper bona fides.

He first sparred with longtime antagonist Senator Aqua Buddha d/b/a Rand Paul; a man with hair that looks like a Brillo pad.

The Kentucky Kretin was on the receiving end this time:

“So you are making a catastrophic epidemic for your political gain,” he told the senator. “So I ask myself why would the senator want to do this?”

Fauci expressed his ongoing frustration, noting that Paul’s attacks against him have spurred an escalation in the death threats he has received from the “crazies out there.”

“What happens when he gets out and accuses me of things that are completely untrue, all of a sudden that kindles the crazies out there, and I have threats upon my life, harassment of my family, and my children will have seen phone calls because people are lying about me,” Fauci said.

Freedom, man.

Aqua Buddha is a second-generation libertarian loon who is almost as entitled as the Impeached Insult Comedian. That’s way entitled, y’all.

I believe Aqua Buddha’s picture is in the dictionary next to white privilege. I guess that comic book about him went to his head:

Freedom, man.

Believe it or not, it wasn’t Senator Aqua Buddha that inspired the post title. It was Kansan Roger Marshall; a mostly non-descript pol who channeled the nasty and gnarly spirit of Bob Dole yesterday.

Marshall implied that Fauci is getting rich by devoting his medical career to research and public service. Say what? The private sector is the road to riches for docs like Tony Fauci. In the immortal words of Randy Newman, the Kansan “don’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.”

In today’s GOP everything’s a conspiracy:

Marshall pressed Fauci’s buttons after conspiratorially insisting that the nation’s top infectious diseases expert had not made his financial disclosure form available to the public.

Fauci pointed out that his financial disclosures have, in fact, been available to the public for years because of his work at NIAID.

“What are you talking about?” Fauci asked the senator. “My financial disclosures are public knowledge and have been so.”

“You are getting amazingly wrong information,” he marveled.

After Marshall’s time ended, the White House chief medical adviser was caught on a hot mic continuing to vent: “What a moron,” he said. “Jesus Christ.”

I’m glad that the good doctor went old school Brooklyn on Marshall’s bucolic bunghole. What a maroon, what a moron.

Relive the moment via the magic of the Tweeter Tube:

Marshall is a verifiable moron. As a congressman, he joined the Matt Gaetz led anti-impeachment shenanigans in the bowels of the Capitol. They ordered pizza that day: I bet Marshall likes pineapple *and* anchovies on his pie.

On Dipshit Insurrection Day, Marshall was one of seven senators who voted to reject the election results. This decertification moment proves that the Kansas Kretin is a certifiable moron.

In his hot mic moment, Dr. Fauci spoke the truth by calling a moron a moron. Was he channeling Jeff Garlin as Murray Goldberg?

Wow, man, did the guy who made that GIF take a hit or seven from Aqua Buddha’s bong? The post I just linked to is a good example of my writing circa 2010. I’d forgotten that I used to call him Weird Rand. Aqua Buddha forever.

Freedom, man.

The last word goes to The Beatles with the song that should be the HELP committee’s theme song:

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