Rand Paul: Aqua Buddha Worshipper

Greg Sargent has spoken to the woman who was involved in Rand Paul’s wacko in Waco episode. She confirms that it was an elaborate exercise in sophomoric hazing but not kidnapping.

She was, however, expected to smoke herb and worship Aqua Buddha by Weird Rand:

“The whole thing has been blown out of proportion,” she told me.
“They didn’t force me, they didn’t make me. They were creating this
drama: `We’re messing with you.'”

The woman said that much of the subsequent coverage of her
allegations missed a key nuance: As a participant in a college ritual,
where lines between acquiescence and victimization are often blurry, she
was largely playing along with the notion that she was being forced to
follow Paul’s orders.

“I went along because they were my friends,” she said. “There was an
implicit degree of cooperation in the whole thing. I felt like I was
being hazed.”

That characterization of events supports Paul’s claim that, as he
told Fox News yesterday, “No, I never was involved with kidnapping. No, I
never was involved with forcibly drugging people.”

But in her conversation with me, the woman stood by the general
outline of her earlier account.

“[They] came over to my house as friends that I knew,” she told me.
“They immediately said, `We’re going to tie you up and go for a ride.'”

She reiterated that they took her to a room filled with pot smoke and
told her to partake, but she emphasized that she hadn’t been forced.
“He did not drug me,” she said. “He did not force me physically in any

She said they then “took me out to this creek and made me worship
Aqua Buddha.” And she added that the whole thing was so “weird” that
afterwards she ended relations with Paul and his friends.

Hmm, I wonder if Aqua Buddha has anything to do with either Aqua Velva or Aqualung? It does sound as if Weird Rand may have been “sitting on a park bench, eying little girls with bad intent.”

You’re probably asking yourself if I think this story is deeply significant. Nope. I just find it deeply weird and in the end deeply amusing. It was also an excuse to post Martin Barre’s classic guitar solo on the old Tull chesnut back when they were young laddies. It was a time when Ian, Martin and I all had hair and keyboard player Dee Palmer was a man named David.

As Weird Rand himself might have said back during his wayward youth: pass the bong and worship Aqua Buddha and if you don’t we’ll make you drink bong juice…

Hmm, I wonder if Rand has ever heard the album Aqua Buddha and the Chocolate Box? Probably not, Cat Stevens is now Yusuf Islam and was thrown out of the US by the Bush administration for having a long scraggly beard and being able to spell mosque correctly…

Okay, I could go on like this forever, but I’ll spare you more aqua related puns. If you have any yourself, leave a comment and join me in the pun zone…


4 thoughts on “Rand Paul: Aqua Buddha Worshipper

  1. I guess I’m gonna have to be the guy that says the lady at the centre of this story ‘Aquaesced’ to all of Rand’s demands.

  2. It was Waco, after all, and I’d bet that the young lady misunderstood in all the excitement. This is Rand Paul, remember, so I’ll bet he was actually saying, “worship the awkward Bubba.”

  3. It’s probably too late to get an “Aqua Buddha” entry on the KY ballot, unfortunately.

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