“The extremist lawmaker who once warned the world of “gazpacho police” now claims the feds are planning to track bowel movements, too.

“They want to know when you’re eating,” the conspiracy theorist added. “They want to know if you’re eating a cheeseburger, which is very bad because Bill Gates wants you to eat his fake meat that grows in a peach tree dish.”

“You’ll probably get a little zap inside your body and that’s saying ‘No, no. Don’t eat a real cheeseburger, you need to eat the fake burger, the fake meat, from Bill Gates,’” Greene said.

“They probably also want to know when you go to the bathroom and if your bowel movements are on time or consistent,” she said. “I mean what else do these people want to know?”

That’s the straight poop from Marjorie Taylor Greene. I’ll skip further scatological jokes.

MTG has no sense of humor so “peach tree dish” isn’t a joke, which is a pity because it’s not half-bad. She, of course, means petri dish unless, that is, she’s a fan of this classic teevee comedy:

That’s from the opening credits of The Dick Van Dyke Show in which Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore play Rob and Laura Petrie. Laura *is* a dish but I don’t think that’s what MTG had in mind.

Maybe MTG has hoops on her mind and thought of former NBA star Geoff Petrie who was traded from Portland to the Atlanta Hawks but never played a game for them:

Geoff Petrie certainly knew how to dish off the ball…

The QAnon Lady is from Georgia so perhaps she was thinking of one of Atlanta’s main drags, Peachtree Street:

That image dates from what people like MTG consider the good old days. Atlanta may have been the “city too busy to hate” but it was also segregated.

I wonder if MTG has one of these:

Lester Maddox was Georgia’s answer to George Wallace. He rose to fame by chasing Black people away from his Pickrick Restaurant with axe handles. I am not making this up. He also got a shout-out from Randy Newman after he walked off The Dick Cavett Show:

I realize that went pretty far afield but trying to explain the way MTG’s mind works takes one to some weird places. Who among us can forget this image by Michael F?

A note about Georgia politics. The Uvalde massacre overshadowed Trump’s Georgia massacre at the hands of Brian Kemp and Brad Raffensperger. The Impeached Insult Comedian lost his shit after his anointed candidates were routed in the Peach State. One could even say that B Raffi made fake meat out of his Trumper opponent. One could, but I won’t.

When I heard of the latest MTG malaprop, I got an earworm that became the post title. That’s why Elton John gets the last word:

The only thing that could make this peachier is if the album title was Madwoman Across The Water.