Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with random ruminations – good neighbours edition

I guess you could call this one a guest post. It was written by the great geniuses behind MST3K, Kevin Murphy, for the pre-Rifftrax website “Timmy Big Hands”.

The site no longer exists, but I was able to save this wonderful piece with the assistance of the internet archive.

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The following series of letters appeared over eighteen months in a Minneapolis newspaper’s weekly gardening advice column “Ask Dan the Gardener.”

April 24th

Hey Dan:

Thanks for great column on leaf blowers. I took your advice and got the biggest one I could find– the Yard Monster Magnum with the big Tecumseh 5-horse motor. I used it to blow-rake the yard and it worked like a charm (I have almost half an acre!). And man is it powerful. Half my leaves ended up clear over to my neighbors yard! Sorry neighbors. I’m sure they won’t mind.

Thanks a bunch!

Larry in Bloomington

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May 15th

Hey Dan:

I am in love with my leaf blower. I have some advice for all your leaf-blowing readers: take the wadding out of the muffler to increase the horsepower and send those leaves to smithereens. Sure it’s a little louder, but with all that power, I’ll get my work done faster. I use it every morning before I go to work, to blow-sweep the driveway and the walks, and also it keeps my yard neat as a pin.

Keep blowing!

Larry in Bloomington

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June 9th

Hey Dan:

I just want to tell your readers a few uses for their leaf blowers they might not of thought of. I use it blow-sweep my garage, it sure beats a broom! And here’s a new one; you can use it to blow-brush all the twigs off your roof after storms. And the vacuum attachment lets me get every little leaf and twig out of the flowerbeds. My ex-wife told me she likes how the yard looks neat as a pin. Who knows, maybe I can win her back. (Just kidding honey, don’t call the lawyer!)

Larry in Bloomington

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July 6th

Hey Dan:

Say here’s a novel use for your leaf blowers out there: on Independence Day, remember how it was all hot and not windy? Well I just turned my leaf-blower on the flag and left it on all day, with Old Glory waving proudly. When I got home from the family picnic, the blower was still running, thanks to the Yard Monster’s extra big capacity gas tank.

Also, I’m wondering if you know if there is a social group or association of people who use there leaf blowers. Maybe I’ll start one and you can be a charter member.

Blowing Away,

Larry in Bloomington

(click on the “read more” for the escalation and ensuing war)

Continue reading “Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with random ruminations – good neighbours edition”

Today on Tommy T’s Random Ruminations – “Rooty Tooty” edition

Something different today, but still in the “Random Ruminations” category – a little story from one of my Facebook political group friends, Bob Crespo :

THE GHOSTS OF SAN GENNARO FEASTS PAST, OR WHY I HATED RUDY BEFORE HATING RUDY WAS COOL

In the 1990s I worked at the San Gennaro Feast in Manhattan’s Little Italy for about 5 years running, an 11-day affair that saw Mulberry Street transformed for 12 blocks starting at Canal Street and ending on Houston Street. This is the largest, longest and most famous Italian American street fair in the country, and a popular enough attraction to be mentioned in tourist brochures, but is the only touristy thing attended overwhelmingly by New Yorkers themselves and Greater Metropolitan Area residents.
It centers around the 2 weekends surrounding the September 19th Feast Day of San Gennaro, who turns out to be a bishop of Naples, Italy who was martyred by some Roman Emperor way back in 305 AD for rubbing him the wrong way. Emperors, Holy Roman or otherwise, tend to be a touchy lot, and it’s best for most of us to avoid them if we value our heads.
The fact that almost no one knows a thing about San Gennaro is not an issue at all, however, and Mulberry Street was selected because it’s the block in Little Italy with the church, the beautiful Basilica of St. Patrick where the opening ceremonies and a short parade begins, kicking off the festivities.
Mulberry Street is transformed into a carnival for 11 days, closed to vehicular traffic and lined on both sides of the street with everything from simple wooden booths to elaborate carnival trailers, selling sausage and peppers, zeppoles, Italian Ices, sweet confections and other ethnic culinary treats, sideshow attractions, kiddie rides, games of chance lined with young fellows trying to win a kewpie doll for their special girls, vendors selling jewelry, T-shirts, CDs or souvenir merchandise, clown-ducking booths and, finally, to the very heart of the San Gennaro Feast and where I came in, in one of dozens of wine and beer vending booths keeping the whole enterprise lubricated, happy and animated.
I just so happened to be the very best wine vendor in the San Gennaro Feast, approaching the job like a carnival barker and spending 11 days in row selling my wares at the top of my lungs. New York City street festivals are legendary for their chaos, and are noisy and crowded affairs, with exactly no specific itinerary and holding different charms for different people.
People just sort of wander where their feet takes them, and when they wandered in the vicinity of my wine booth they were likely to hear any or all of these lines:
“My wine is better, my beer is colder – it’s just that simple!”
“Check your watches, it’s Vino Time”
“Step right up for liquid love, ladies! Form a line!”
“Let’s talk, people… because Chianti!”
“Whatever the question is, wine is the answer!

(the rest after the break)

Continue reading “Today on Tommy T’s Random Ruminations – “Rooty Tooty” edition”

Guest Post: Trump’s Lawyer Wrote, Shared Coup Plan – See Page 37

Jamie O is back with some media criticism. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it. -Adrastos Trump’s Lawyer Wrote, Shared Coup Plan – See Page 37 by Jamie O I hold a degree in journalism/communications. It’s served … Continue reading Guest Post: Trump’s Lawyer Wrote, Shared Coup Plan – See Page 37

Today on Tommy T’s obsession with Random Ruminations – guest post edition

Doing something a little different today and posting something that I didn’t write. The morons currently trying to run Texas into the ground have now made it law that all you need to carry a concealed handgun is the money to buy one, which prompted this post. I am a gun owner myself, have no wish to carry my Glock21 anywhere, and agree with every single word below from Leonidas Christian Mixon. ************************************************* “We have a gun problem and a bullshit problem in the United States. Let me start by saying I am a gun owner. I have been since … Continue reading Today on Tommy T’s obsession with Random Ruminations – guest post edition

Ryne Hancock: The Fallacies Of Our Crushes

My friend Ryne Hancock’s first post of 2021 strikes a wistful tone. For the non-New Orleanians out there, Broadmoor is an Uptown neighborhood. -Adrastos The Fallacies Of Our Crushes by Ryne Hancock In a few days, my friend Cait in Broadmoor will be turning 42. Despite the fact that we are still in a pandemic, her birthday will include dinner, gifts from her kids and husband as well as well-wishes from friends and family for another trip around the sun. During that same week in January of 1979, one of my first celeb crushes, Aaliyah, was born. If my memory … Continue reading Ryne Hancock: The Fallacies Of Our Crushes

Guest Post: Hard Sympathy

Good morning. Tommy T is on the disabled list with a serious health problem. It is not, however, caused by reading the Freepers so we don’t have to. Here’s hoping our beloved friend and colleague gets well soon. That’s as mushy as I get, y’all. Today’s guest blogger is my young friend Ryne Hancock. He’s the guy who inspired my Bad Karma post last week, which led to his first First Draft shout-out. I also owe him because his bike was stolen in front of my house a few years ago. Sorry about that. Ryne is a native Memphian who … Continue reading Guest Post: Hard Sympathy