Author: docphd

Current Affairs, Diary, Doc, Economy, On Wisconsin, Scott Walker's Horcruxes1 Comment

Promises, Promises

docphd

My dad held very few points of pride when it came to things he did or didn’t do. He never smoked at all, he doesn’t “owe anyone anything” when it comes to financial concerns and he didn’t make a promise he didn’t think he could keep. “If I said we’re going to do something, we did it,” he always told me. “If I said ‘No,’ I meant ‘No.” If it was ‘Maybe,’ anything could happen. But if I said we’re doing it, we did it unless something really changed the situation.” He wasn’t kidding. I asked to go to my … Continue reading Promises, Promises

Current Affairs, Doc, Of Interest, Uncategorized2 Comments

“It’s Not About You” AKA- Stop writing shitty columns

docphd

Column writing is a lot like comedy: Everyone thinks they can do it and that it’s easy, but only a few people actually have the chops to do it well often. For every Richard Pryor or Erma Bombeck who breaks ground and creates timeless moments of social awareness, there are thousands of people who think dropping N-bombs or coming up with theories on how socks get lost in the dryer will land them a comedy Grammy or a publishing deal. And for every Mike Royko or Leonard Pitts who captures the essence of a place or people and shines a … Continue reading “It’s Not About You” AKA- Stop writing shitty columns

Current Affairs, Doc, Education, Elections, Immoral Values, Sports, Uncategorized

Keep it short.

docphd

In honor of Daniel Victor’s simple answer in his NYT tech column, here are my five-words-or-less responses to a shit ton of stuff going on in the world:   Brock Turner was released from jail after three months from jail. CNN asks: Did race affect the Stanford Rape Case? Yes.   Stanford has decided to ban hard alcohol at campus parties in the wake of the Turner scandal. How effective will this be in stemming the tide of bad behavior and situations involving sexual assault? Beer.   Media outlets have announced the debate moderators for the presidential debates: NBC’s Lester … Continue reading Keep it short.

Doc, Education, Uncategorized

Tripping Triggers on College Campuses

docphd

As colleges across the country come back to life after a three-month slumber, the issue of who has the right to do what and when and where has once again trumped almost every other issue. Perhaps the college gaining the most attention is the University of Chicago, which welcomed its freshmen this week with the typewritten version of Cher’s famous scene in Moonstruck. The letter explained that students should not expect “trigger warnings” in classes or “safe spaces” on the campus, in large part because the university embraces freedom of expression and isn’t into this whole coddling thing. Seconds after … Continue reading Tripping Triggers on College Campuses

Current Affairs, Diary, Doc, Uncategorized1 Comment

Eleven

docphd

It’s an odd experience being face to face with a person you constantly called a shit-brained asshole and a greedy fuckwad behind closed doors. It’s even weirder when you are enjoying the moment. When we were trying to buy our current house, we were in the middle of a major mess of balancing the whiny bullshit of our buyer with the stubborn refusals of our seller. This pulled us financially in both directions and it made for some really rough nights around the old homestead. The guy who had the house we wanted refused to move on any of our … Continue reading Eleven

Current Affairs, Doc, Economy, Education, Scott Walker's Horcruxes, Stupid Republican Tricks, Uncategorized2 Comments

UW to Scott Walker: They call them cuts because they hurt and make you bleed

docphd

Last night was a first for me in my time at my current university: I got an email from a parent. In all of my previous stops, parental “engagement” ranged from the somewhat common to the fairly frequent. I had received calls from parents who wanted to protest a grade, argue about the amount of work I was assigning their precious snowflake or make sure that I knew the child was REALLY sick and needed to be excused from class. In some cases, the calls were polite and helpful while others smacked of entitlement. (In one case, I was told, … Continue reading UW to Scott Walker: They call them cuts because they hurt and make you bleed

Current Affairs, Doc, Economy, Education, Uncategorized1 Comment

You Got Served

docphd

We were sitting at the kitchen table on Day Two of the “My-Wife-Can’t-Breathe-Because-Humidity-And-Heat-Kill-Asthmatics” Festival, when she broke into a cussing, coughing fit. “That asshole! What a fucking dick!” It takes a lot for her to get to that level, as opposed to me, who you could easily see yelling, “Hurry the fuck up! It’s fucking cold out here!” during a eulogy. The asshole-dick in question was a coworker of hers at the local nursing/retirement home. The fellow CNA/RA had called in sick four minutes before his shift, sending the rest of the crew into understaffed crisis mode. Making this worse, … Continue reading You Got Served

Current Affairs, Doc, Elections, Of Interest, Uncategorized5 Comments

The more I see Donald Trump, the more I love my car

docphd

Once upon a time on this blog, I was accused of creating “haigiography of a gas guzzling testament to why we don’t have widespread public transportation” in my tribute to Betsy, a gold, 1968 Mustang that saved me as much as I saved her. If that reader is still around, I’m sure she would be horrified of my most recent purchase: a 1966 Ford F-250 Camper edition with a 460 engine that gets about 10 miles to the gallon on a good day. I’m not thrilled at the impact I’m having on the environment, which is why we own a … Continue reading The more I see Donald Trump, the more I love my car

Current Affairs, Do Something, Doc, Law/Justice, R.I.P., Uncategorized2 Comments

No Lives Matter

docphd

I went to bed with a half-written post on the Philando Castile shooting, opting not to include the Alton Sterling shooting because Adrastos had already covered it. Within five minutes of my head hitting the pillow, I got update after update from various news sources that multiple police officers had been shot and killed in Dallas during a peaceful protest. More died during the night. What’s worse, is more and more and more of us will die in the days to come as our country reaches a spasmic crescendo of anger, fear and violence. We argue these days about who … Continue reading No Lives Matter

Current Affairs, Doc, Education, On Wisconsin, Stupid Republican Tricks, Uncategorized2 Comments

Fitzgerald to MPS: Bitch, don’t make me hit you

docphd

I spent the last week watching the 30 for 30 documentary series “OJ: Made in America.” I have to admit it was intriguing, if not way, way, way too long. It’s been more than 20 years since the first O.J. trial and a time in which people like Marcia Clark, Kato Kaelin and Lance Ito all became nationally known names. For me, it was a bit like opening a box of stuff I found in the attic: It brought back memories, but didn’t provide me with a lot more than that on the whole. The one thing that it did … Continue reading Fitzgerald to MPS: Bitch, don’t make me hit you

Current Affairs, Diary, Doc, Sports, Uncategorized3 Comments

Believeland

docphd

Four weeks ago, I used this space to ask God for something: Please, God, Just This Once… For one time, just ONE time, let my team win. Let my team be the champs. Let me have that moment that so many other people have had over their lifetimes. I wanted to say “Cleveland Cavaliers, NBA Champions.” My guys. The champs. Just once. After that, do with me what you will. And that got me two blowout losses and another “Here We Go Again” feeling. I had to let go. I understood a long time ago that God answers every prayer. … Continue reading Believeland

Big Damn Heroes, Current Affairs, Doc, Uncategorized3 Comments

Basic Human Decency

docphd

I woke up this morning to the sound of the garbage truck as it stopped in front of my house. Due to the recent purchase of another ridiculous vehicle (long story), I had two cars parked on the street, making the access to the can a bit of a maneuver for the garbage guy. In addition, due to The Midget cleaning her room, my mother-in-law emptying several bins in her room, the cleaning out of our refrigerator and my ongoing battle to refinish every piece of furniture, the rolling cart was overflowing with crap. The truck seemed to be taking … Continue reading Basic Human Decency

Current Affairs, Doc, R.I.P., Sports, Uncategorized

Goodnight, Mr. Hockey

docphd

I only saw him play live once in my life. It was 1997 and ESPN was showing a live shot of the Detroit Vipers, a now-defunct minor-league hockey team. Gordie Howe skated out during an overly dramatized set of introductions. He took the ice to play but one shift, so he could claim that he had played professional hockey in six decades. You couldn’t even call it a moment, as his ice time came to about 47 seconds, but it was something that hockey purists decried as a stunt, a farce and a smudge of tarnish on the legacy of … Continue reading Goodnight, Mr. Hockey

Current Affairs, Diary, Doc, Education, Guns, Uncategorized1 Comment

To Live and Die in (UC)LA

docphd

I spent the majority of my undergraduate career in the communication building at my alma mater. It was a giant, ugly concrete monstrosity that looked like it was put together by Willy Wonka’s emo cousin. Entrances and exits were on multiple floors, there were giant open spaces on top of the second and third floors. Rumors swirled that there was a helipad on top of the roof. On the inside, the halls were never linear, in that there was at least four ways of getting anywhere. Concrete columns jutted into the hallways, making easy for anyone not paying attention to … Continue reading To Live and Die in (UC)LA

Current Affairs, Diary, Doc, Sports, Uncategorized3 Comments

Please, God, just this once…

docphd

I waited all day for this and I got it: The Cavs defeated the Raptors in Game Six tonight, pushing them into the NBA Finals for the second-consecutive year. Last year, they lost the finals in six to a ridiculously overpowering Golden State Warriors team, the core of which came back this year to set an NBA record with 73 regular season wins. As much credit as I want to give the Warriors for last year, I can’t see them as the perfect champs other people do. Kevin Love went down in the Boston series and Kyrie Irving went out … Continue reading Please, God, just this once…

Current Affairs, Doc, Education, On Wisconsin, Scott Walker's Horcruxes4 Comments

Fun with statistics: Scott Walker Edition

docphd

The old adage goes that there are three types of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics. In the wake of yet another “no confidence” vote against Gov. Scott Walker’s handpicked board of cronies regents and his “please don’t hit me, I won’t burn the roast again” system president, Ray Cross, Ol’ Deadeyes came out swinging this week. In advance of the UW-Milwaukee vote on a no-confidence measure, Walker issued a press release that was packed with numbers and data to show that faculty are out-of-touch crybabies who lack a sense of reality. He then peppered it with a couple great … Continue reading Fun with statistics: Scott Walker Edition

Bigotry, Current Affairs, Do Something, Doc, Education2 Comments

“Fuck You” Nation: Campus Edition

docphd

A number of months ago, I coined the term “Fuck You” Nation in dealing with the idea that we seem to have a constant sense that anyone who isn’t immediately for us in the way we want them to be should be told to fuck off. Truth be told, I should have figured this term out decades ago, given the cultural climate of my alma mater. The arrest of a 21-year-old UW-Madison student has sparked protests on campus, due in part to the circumstances of his arrest and the anti-racism message he was attempting to spread. Denzel McDonald is accused … Continue reading “Fuck You” Nation: Campus Edition

Comedy, Current Affairs, Doc, Political Crack, Uncategorized2 Comments

Hey Rick Scott! Why don’t you just call her a “twat” and get it over with?

docphd

People often talk about the “dignity” of public service and officials who should act in a “dignified” manner. It’s one of the main reasons why Donald Trump is being seen as such an outsider these days: He’s one of the few people who refuses to give in to the public decency we expect from those who govern us. Perhaps Rick Scott is looking for a chance to Out-Trump “The Donald” for a chance at a VP slot or something, because there’s no other way his actions this week make sense. Scott, Florida’s least-favorite governor, was in a Starbucks when a … Continue reading Hey Rick Scott! Why don’t you just call her a “twat” and get it over with?

Big Damn Heroes, Current Affairs, Do Something, Doc, Kids Today, Of Interest2 Comments

Survival is beautiful

docphd

In my experience, the most difficult thing about surviving a trauma has been the dark, grim sense of how I felt I was supposed to react. When it comes to other successful endeavors in life, people are always looking for positive things they can tell you: “Hey, congratulations on the big promotion!” “Way to go! Your home run won the game!” “Nice job on this paper! 100 percent! A+” Positivity oozes out of everything we like to tell people for whom we are happy or grateful. However, in surviving horrible colleagues, baseless inquisitions, heavy bouts of depression and other issues, … Continue reading Survival is beautiful

Current Affairs, Diary, Doc, Uncategorized2 Comments

The gift of knowing you lived well

docphd

My dad turns 72 this week. He retired more than 13 years ago. The place he worked for 38 years, Ladish, is essentially gone, the victim of a merger. The only thing that still bears its name is the giant brick smoke stack that the DNR won’t let the new company demolish. The credit union where he served as a board member has been consolidated away as well. The day of the old “mom and pop” credit union has given way to the multi-national corporation, making these once-local institutions seem more like banks than unions. He still can’t sit still, … Continue reading The gift of knowing you lived well

Current Affairs, Doc, Education, Uncategorized1 Comment

Follow the Bouncing Logic: UW System Edition

docphd

Today, I found myself going back to the famous joke about chutzpah: A lawyer is defending a kid accused of killing both of his parents. The lawyer begs the court for mercy because his client is an orphan. The UW System Board of Regents made a similar move today, passing a new set of tenure provisions that will allow cost to help dictate if faculty can be cut. Regents President Regina Millner was adamant that the new tenure policies would preserve academic freedom and free speech, and be comparable to policies at peer institutions. She said the policies “strike the … Continue reading Follow the Bouncing Logic: UW System Edition

Current Affairs, Doc, Education, Immoral Values, Law/Justice, Uncategorized2 Comments

In other news, rape victim blamed for not having vagina guarded by Pinkertons…

docphd

Teacher Leigh Anne Arthur was essentially given a “quit or we will fire you” order from her bosses in the Union County School District this week after a student found a nude photo of Arthur on her cell phone and passed it around the school. The student stole the phone off of Arthur’s desk while Arthur was out of the room for five minutes to monitor the “passing period” at the school. Arthur has been put into the unenviable position of having to explain that, yes, there was a nude photo of her on the phone and that, yes, she … Continue reading In other news, rape victim blamed for not having vagina guarded by Pinkertons…

Diary, Doc, Epic Blogger Win, Uncategorized4 Comments

Living Life, Chip by Chip

docphd

I always know where it is, unlike almost every other object I own. I rarely, if ever, however, go looking for it. And yet occasionally, you find yourself doing something that you know will evoke a response that you hate because you need to have that response. So, this morning, I opened the door to my night stand and extracted the battered shoe box. Beneath the “Thank You” notes from past students, the love letters my wife wrote me over time and surrounded by the pin-based honorifics I received or inherited throughout the years, I found it where I always … Continue reading Living Life, Chip by Chip

Current Affairs, Do Something, Doc, Law/Justice, R.I.P., Uncategorized6 Comments

One pill makes you larger…

docphd

Of all the things I’ve gone through this year, the one thing that always freaked me out most was medicine. I went through a bilateral carpal tunnel surgery in October, leaving me with limited mobility and a great deal of pain. The surgeon prescribed me these pain pills that were enough to turn me into a drooling idiot. Regardless of how much pain I was in, I really tried my best to just gut it out and not take the pills. “The doctor gave them to you for a reason,” my lovely wife would say in her best exasperated nurse … Continue reading One pill makes you larger…

Current Affairs, Doc, Education, Law/Justice, Uncategorized

Clicked Off: No jail time for Mizzou “Muscle” Prof

docphd

In some cases, we tend to look at the outcome to determine the intensity of a crime. For example, I remember talking with a cop at one point about an alcohol-fueled mob fight outside of a Madison dance club/bar. The whole fight, which involved a Springer-like melee among drunks ended up with a ton of blood, bruises and broken bones. The culprit turned out to be one asshole who called another asshole a “freshman.” When the accused “freshman” took a swing at the guy and missed, he nailed some other guy’s girlfriend and basically everything unraveled from there. The “freshman” … Continue reading Clicked Off: No jail time for Mizzou “Muscle” Prof

Current Affairs, Doc, Sports, Uncategorized

L’chaim, David Blatt

docphd

If I’m David Blatt, I go home tonight, pour myself a giant glass of vodka and cuss out the world in one of the four languages I speak. I have my wife lock away my cell phone so I don’t have to return a call and make the mistake of saying something stupid. I have her steal every remote from every TV we have so I don’t have to watch any of the talking heads blather on about the bullshit of culture, fit and every other stupid thing they want to blame my firing on. I then pass out, wake … Continue reading L’chaim, David Blatt

Current Affairs, Doc, Of Interest, Political Crack, Uncategorized1 Comment

Don’t Hate The Donald, Hate the Lame

docphd

  So I get that you are VERY against trump… Are you as vehement when on Facebook and see anti trump stuff?.…. Just wondering… One of the guys I know who has been a lifesaver when it comes to helping me keep Betsy tuned up posted this on my Facebook feed this week. It came after about the third time I posted a “Snopes” link on his, debunking some meme his cousin Cletus or somebody sent him about something. This time, it was the Trump retweet of the “black on black” crime graphic, which had some journalists trying to verify … Continue reading Don’t Hate The Donald, Hate the Lame

Doc, Economy, Education, Kids Today, On Wisconsin, Uncategorized1 Comment

Let Them Eat Cake: Student-Loan Edition

docphd

Yeah, this is totally what students need to save them from debt: Gov. Scott Walker announced a legislative package on college affordability Monday that would eliminate the cap on student loan interest that borrowers can deduct from their state income tax, putting an average $165 extra in taxpayers’ pockets. The package of bills drawn up by Republican lawmakers also provides students with additional information about their student loans so they can make smart financial decisions, emergency assistance so they can stay in school and internship opportunities to connect students with Wisconsin employers.   First, this is pretty much like trying … Continue reading Let Them Eat Cake: Student-Loan Edition

Current Affairs, Doc, Education, Film, Fog Of History, Law/Justice, On Wisconsin, Uncategorized2 Comments

The More We See, The Less We Know

docphd

Digital technology was supposed to make life easier for us and in many ways it has. Letters used to take days to arrive. Now, emails and texts bounce back and forth in seconds. Phones used to be anchored to walls. Now, we carry them everywhere. Typing used to require multiple carefully reworked drafts, as white-out and typos looked ugly. I rewrote that sentence three times in the time it would have taken for me to reinsert a piece of paper into my old IBM Selectric. And yet, when it comes to video, it’s almost made our lives worse, especially when … Continue reading The More We See, The Less We Know

Current Affairs, Diary, Doc, Economy, Law/Justice, Uncategorized4 Comments

Shkreli Cat, Shkreli Cat, what are you feeding us?

docphd

We spent most of last night at the emergency room with my mother-in-law. She suffered a massive stroke a number of years ago and lost almost all of her movement on her left side. As such, there are times where her muscles spasm uncontrollably and tighten to the point of unrelenting pain. Last night was one of those nights, even after three tablets of Percocet and whatever else they prescribed to her. Eventually, we found ourselves working with a wonderful set of doctors until nearly 2:30 in the morning, who worked tirelessly to help cease her pain and loosen her … Continue reading Shkreli Cat, Shkreli Cat, what are you feeding us?