Hey Rick Scott! Why don’t you just call her a “twat” and get it over with?

People often talk about the “dignity” of public service and officials who should act in a “dignified” manner. It’s one of the main reasons why Donald Trump is being seen as such an outsider these days: He’s one of the few people who refuses to give in to the public decency we expect from those who govern us.

Perhaps Rick Scott is looking for a chance to Out-Trump “The Donald” for a chance at a VP slot or something, because there’s no other way his actions this week make sense.

Scott, Florida’s least-favorite governor, was in a Starbucks when a woman started cursing at him about his record on jobs and his overall approach to governing. Having people call him an asshole can’t be a rare thing if he’s half the politician he thinks he is, so I can’t believe he was stunned by this behavior. However, someone captured it on video and since then, the “Screaming Starbucks Lady” has become a viral sensation.

If Scott had any common sense, he’d have blown this off like a bunch of other politicians, or walked it off like Pope Benedict did when he got tackled prior to a mass. People yell, people scream, people curse. He held the relatively high ground at that point, not screaming back at her or telling her where to stick her two-shot, skinny venti latte. It was actually a pretty good day for Scott, even if you didn’t factor in he left before Starbucks could overcharge him for a shitty cup of bean water and write “Dick Snot” on his cup.

For reasons past the understanding of those of us with common sense, Scott couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie. His PAC put out an ad on his YouTube channel today, ripping the shit out of his antagonist, Cara Jennings.

The ad, seen here, has all the passive aggressive tendencies of a prom queen who got dumped for a less-hot cheerleader. The narrator notes that the woman “clearly has a problem” (code for either mentally ill bitch or hormonally challenged twat on her period). The ad calls her out as a former government employee who was a self-professed anarchist before noting “but never mind about that.”

It then does that great “pseudo-graphic thing” of putting the word “jobs” in a bunch of starbursts and littering the map with them. It wraps up by replaying her line about “Who here has a great job?” followed by a snarky narrator explaining that almost everyone in Florida does except for “those that are sitting around coffee shops, demanding public assistance, surfing the Internet, and cursing at customers who come in.”

I’m not even going to get into the “guess who didn’t want to say the pledge of allegiance” shit (as it’s her right to do shit like that if she so chooses) or if she really is an anarchist or if Rick Scott created jobs in a way that would make Christ’s loaves and fishes miracle look like a shitty card trick. I’m also not going to get into the idea that screaming at a politician is probably NOT the best way to get any kind of traction on a quality argument or how even though this was Scott’s Flying Monkeys doing the ad it’s not really “his” ad.

What I do want to do is ask Rick Scott a simple question: Could you have possibly handled this any worse? I mean, the kids who used to lick Oreo halves and slap them onto our teachers’ frozen car windshields handled themselves with more dignity and honor than you did.

Scott is not the least popular politician in Florida these days, but he still has just a 38 percent approval rating, according to a recent poll. It’s pretty obvious that people aren’t exactly thrilled with him and it’s pretty clear that this should be obvious to Scott himself.

Had Scott gotten caught up in the moment and told Jennings to go fuck herself or asked her how she can blog at Starbucks with a houseful of cats and Slimfast at home desperate for her attention, I’m not thrilled with him, but I’d at least understand.

However, he apparently held his shit together long enough to go home and build an entire minute-long ad around this woman’s life in hopes of doing… Uh… What, exactly? She’s not running for anything. People who don’t know her already either like her or hate her, so that’s not going to change.

I doubt anyone who liked her for standing up to Scott for his shitty record is going think, “Holy SHIT! She once WORKED FOR THE GOVERNMENT! FUCK THAT BITCH!” And she can’t be that great of an anarchist if she’s pecking away on a laptop in a Starbucks in the middle of the afternoon. Nothing says, “Anarchy NOW!” like a Frappuccino and some free wifi.

Rick Scott turned one of the few moments of Zen he’s gotten recently into yet one more reason to hate his ass. That said, I’m looking forward to his next ad, in which he trades barbs with a homeless drifter peeing on the side of a drug store and then tells us the “real story” about the guy’s dog not really being from this country.

2 thoughts on “Hey Rick Scott! Why don’t you just call her a “twat” and get it over with?

  1. gratuitous says:

    Evidently parking his carcass in the Florida governor’s mansion instead of one of our country’s finer penal institutions isn’t reward enough for Rick Scott. He must also be allowed to walk freely among the very people he’s been ripping off since his days at Columbia/HCA. Woe to the hoi polloi who don’t appreciate the company of Rick Scott.

  2. ClarkRT says:

    Worked for the government. Hmm. Like… Rick Scott!

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