Is There Anything More Cringe-Inducing Than Local News Stories About the Internet?

God almighty:  "Some may find the details of this disturbing," said Elaine Quijano on "CBS This Morning." "Ghoulish stabbing raises question: Who Is Slenderman?" asked CNN.com which calls him "the Internet's own monster, a ghoul who lurks in its darkest corners" and "a menacing, faceless specter in a dark suit — sometimes portrayed with octopus-like tentacles." The sensational crime, which actually pre-empted weather as the lead story on local stations, made the once cautionary disclaimer, "It's 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are?" seem quaint, even naive. Anchors, producers and reporters hauled out the sober hyperbole. WITI-TV (Channel 6) used eerie, music-like sound effects. … Continue reading Is There Anything More Cringe-Inducing Than Local News Stories About the Internet?

Settle in at “The Bar of the Blamed”

I opened “The Bar of the Blamed” this week, in hopes of creating a world safe for all people. My co-owner, Jodie Foster, will be there until the end offering suggestions on how best to impress her. We’ve got all the causes of all the psychotic things in this country: Norman Bates’ mom is running the bingo game in the corner while Slenderman is entertaining the crew by bending balloons into the shapes of various animals. Speaking animals, we have a strict “Some Dogs Allowed” policy, which helped when Sam Carr’s black Lab, Harvey, showed up a while back. If … Continue reading Settle in at “The Bar of the Blamed”

Only Talking Nonsense

The NBA Finals are perhaps my favorite sports event of the year. Hardcore hoops fans have been hoping for a rematch between the Heat and Spurs and we got it. Game One was close until the Spurs blew it after the building's air dish went out, and, as a result of the extreme heat, Lebron James had severe leg cramps and couldn't play during crunch time. That's where the Twitter malakatude started. There seem to be a lot of people practicing medicine without a license on the Tweeter Tube, They were shocked, shocked that Lebron left the game and didn't "man … Continue reading Only Talking Nonsense

JUMP AROUND BITCHES

Well, here's one less thing for me to feel superior about sitting here in Illinois, and I couldn't be happier:  U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb in Madison Friday overturned Wisconsin's gay marriage ban, striking down an amendment to the state constitution approved overwhelmingly by voters in 2006. Crabb did not stay her ruling but also did not immediately issue an order blocking the enforcement of the order, leaving it for the moment unclear whether couples could immediately marry in the courthouses of Wisconsin. Instead, Crabb asked the gay couples who had sued over the ban to describe by June 16 exactly what … Continue reading JUMP AROUND BITCHES

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

As in, “We had 400 copies, and we sold out in about 30 minutes.” The “April” edition, which was delayed to May, thanks to a ham-handed job of censorship, came out today and sources have told me that the kids sold every single copy and they have to print more. This is something that they have NEVER done before and they estimate that before things are said and done, more than a quarter of the students in the school will have purchased a copy. The support the students have shown this publication is incredible. It’s also great to see that … Continue reading Cardinal Columns: Selling Out

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

For serious: “A huge portion of the electorate that’s going to be her target don’t remember the Clinton administration at all,” Tim Miller, who’s heading an anti-Hillary PAC called America Rising, told TPM recently. “A lot of the negative stuff about the Clinton era has congealed into like a joke or a historical blip, but people don’t remember the details.” “While that’s not going to be central to our nominee’s campaign against Hillary, what was happening in 1994,” he continued, “I do think it’s important for that to be part of the discussion about her, so that the folks who … Continue reading Because Nobody Cares About Blowjobs Anymore

Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

If they don’t know how the Internet is gonna work: Back on March 24, Cruz posted an informal survey on his verified senatorial Facebook page. It read: “Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO!” It’s probably fair to say that he didn’t expect the tsunami of “YES” votes that have shown up on the page among the 47,000 that Facebook says have been posted. Respondents have listed, among other things, their newfound ability to obtain coverage despite preexisting medical conditions, the right … Continue reading Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

If they don’t know how the Internet is gonna work: Back on March 24, Cruz posted an informal survey on his verified senatorial Facebook page. It read: “Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO!” It’s probably fair to say that he didn’t expect the tsunami of “YES” votes that have shown up on the page among the 47,000 that Facebook says have been posted. Respondents have listed, among other things, their newfound ability to obtain coverage despite preexisting medical conditions, the right … Continue reading Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

If they don’t know how the Internet is gonna work: Back on March 24, Cruz posted an informal survey on his verified senatorial Facebook page. It read: “Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO!” It’s probably fair to say that he didn’t expect the tsunami of “YES” votes that have shown up on the page among the 47,000 that Facebook says have been posted. Respondents have listed, among other things, their newfound ability to obtain coverage despite preexisting medical conditions, the right … Continue reading Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

If they don’t know how the Internet is gonna work: Back on March 24, Cruz posted an informal survey on his verified senatorial Facebook page. It read: “Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO!” It’s probably fair to say that he didn’t expect the tsunami of “YES” votes that have shown up on the page among the 47,000 that Facebook says have been posted. Respondents have listed, among other things, their newfound ability to obtain coverage despite preexisting medical conditions, the right … Continue reading Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

If they don’t know how the Internet is gonna work: Back on March 24, Cruz posted an informal survey on his verified senatorial Facebook page. It read: “Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO!” It’s probably fair to say that he didn’t expect the tsunami of “YES” votes that have shown up on the page among the 47,000 that Facebook says have been posted. Respondents have listed, among other things, their newfound ability to obtain coverage despite preexisting medical conditions, the right … Continue reading Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

If they don’t know how the Internet is gonna work: Back on March 24, Cruz posted an informal survey on his verified senatorial Facebook page. It read: “Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO!” It’s probably fair to say that he didn’t expect the tsunami of “YES” votes that have shown up on the page among the 47,000 that Facebook says have been posted. Respondents have listed, among other things, their newfound ability to obtain coverage despite preexisting medical conditions, the right … Continue reading Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet

If they don’t know how the Internet is gonna work: Back on March 24, Cruz posted an informal survey on his verified senatorial Facebook page. It read: “Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO!” It’s probably fair to say that he didn’t expect the tsunami of “YES” votes that have shown up on the page among the 47,000 that Facebook says have been posted. Respondents have listed, among other things, their newfound ability to obtain coverage despite preexisting medical conditions, the right … Continue reading Republicans Shouldn’t Use the Internet