There Will Always Be Mississippi

As a beleaguered liberal resident of the Gret Stet of Louisiana, I can always look eastward at our neighbors in Mississippi and say, their lege is worse than ours: The Mississippi House on Friday passed a religious freedom bill that would allow businesses and public employees to deny services to people based on the belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman, sending the legislation to Gov. Phil Bryant (R). The bill, passed by the state Senate earlier this week, also allows businesses to deny services based on the belief that “sexual relations are properly reserved to … Continue reading There Will Always Be Mississippi

Saturday Odds & Sods: You’re With Stupid Now

Cavalcade
Sideshow Banner by Fred G. Johnson.

This week has been a bottomless pit of stupid. We’ve seen an obscure county clerk treated as a hero by the Right and as a villain by the Left. She’s neither, she’s an outlier who’s best ignored. #MLKim my ass. We interrupt this rant with a message from Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys:

Back to the week in stupid. We’ve seen Ted Cruz and a Huckabee staffer have a physical confrontation at the Eye of the Tiger event in Palookaville, KY. Who knew that the guys in Survivor were litigious libruls? We’ve seen a man in a suit try to wrest a sign away from a Code Pink protester at a Dick Cheney event. Stay classy, neo-cons…

Speaking of empty suits, the dullest Greek in history, New Orleans Advocate owner John Georges, teased the media and Twitteratti with the possibility he might enter the Gret Stet Goober race. In the end, he didn’t run but a lot of bandwith was wasted on a boring rich guy who ran and lost for Governor in 2007, and Mayor of New Orleans in 2010. In that time span he’s been a Republican, Independent, and Democrat. Some decider; he can’t even make up his mind as to what he believes in, other than himself.

In New Orleans, we’ve seen Mayor Mitch Landrieu threatened with house arrest if he doesn’t settle an endless lawsuit with the Firefighters Union. This dispute seems to have been going on since the Louisiana Purchase. It may be time to resurrect Gen. Wilkinson or Gov. Claiborne to settle the issue. They’re long dead but still have more life than John Georges as well as better hair than Mitch Landrieu…

A friend asked me the other day why I haven’t done a Malaka of the Week post for a few weeks. It’s because there’s too bloody much malakatude to choose from. There’s a wealth of stupid, which brings me to this week’s theme song. It comes from Aimee Mann’s ab fab 1995 album I’m With Stupid. We’re all with stupid this week, y’all:

Okay now that I’ve vented, on with the Saturday post, which does involve some stupid but not this much:

did-you-eat-a-bowl-of-stupid-for-breakfast-funny-poster

Now that you’ve consumed some empty calories, join us after the break. Fast…

Continue reading “Saturday Odds & Sods: You’re With Stupid Now”

Show Me An Anti-Hero…

…and I’ll show you a reformed sinner with a martyr complex. Why does it martyr? I think Mary Elizabeth Williams nails the whole Kim Davis affair: So she never imagined she’d be in this position? When at the time of her mother-in-law’s death, six U.S. states already had marriage equality? I think that Davis might either be a very poor planner or she’s not being entirely honest here. I do, however, believe her “heaven or hell” imperative. I believe she is convinced that she has transgressed profoundly, and that her belief in her forgiveness is what is driving her now. Who but a … Continue reading Show Me An Anti-Hero…

Gospel of Athenae 1:1-15: Fuck This Guy

Behold, a massive jerkoff sits at the controls of the North Mississippi Daily Journal: I don’t write a column often, but as publisher and CEO of the Journal there are times when I feel a responsibility to share my thoughts on a subject and ensure our company is not misunderstood based on our job to report the news and share both sides of a story. I’ll also preface the following thoughts by saying if you don’t believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God and the source of authority that trumps all others, you’re not likely to agree with … Continue reading Gospel of Athenae 1:1-15: Fuck This Guy

Fuck Yeah, Jefferson Parish

The floodgates are finally opening in Louisiana: Jefferson Parish will begin issuing same-sex marriage licenses to anyone who applies for them on Monday, Clerk of Court Jon Gegenheimer said.  Gegenheimer’s office made the decision about 10 a.m. after speaking with his agency’s legal counsel, attorney John Litchfield. Litchfield spent the weekend reviewing the U.S. Supreme Court’s 5-4 decision on Friday to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide and said Jefferson Parish should begin issuing marriage licenses to gay couples immediately. By about 10:30 a.m., Gegenheimer said, Jefferson Parish issued what appeared to be Louisiana’s first same-sex marriage license to a pair of … Continue reading Fuck Yeah, Jefferson Parish

Fuck Yeah, America

As expected the Supremes have legalized same-sex marriage in the entire country in a 5-4 vote. The majority opinion was written by Anthony Kennedy thereby cementing his place in history as the Gay Rights Justice. To those pundits who insisted that Kennedy was the “swing vote” in this case: You were wrong and I was right. I cannot wait to hear the reaction here in the Gret Stet of Louisiana. PBJ just shit his pants. Continue reading Fuck Yeah, America

The Eddie Haskell Factor Revisited

This post started off as another trip in the Adrastos Wayback Machine to February 8, 2007. That’s when I published one of my favorite Bobby Jindal posts; comparing him to a teevee character both of whom are psalm singing sons of bitches like Diaper Dave. We’ll get there eventually, but Gov PBJ remains the Eddie Haskell of politics: a smarmy creep who kisses up and kicks down.

PBJ is back in the news with his latest pander to religious bigots and the far right of his party. A Louisiana house committee killed the so-called  religious freedom act, which spurred the Governor into spurious action:

Just hours after a Louisiana House panel overwhelmingly voted Tuesday to effectively kill one of his priority pieces of legislation, Gov. Bobby Jindal issued an executive order that he said would continue to give life to the Louisiana Marriage and Conscience Act’s intent.

 House Bill 707 had sought to carve out protections for people who oppose same-sex marriage. The executive order is much narrower in scope, Jindal admitted, and some opponents of the measure have questioned whether the order will have much impact. But after the House Civil Law Committee’s 10-2 vote Tuesday to end the measure’s chances this session through a procedural move, Jindal argued that his possibly temporary order was the “next best thing.”

“It applies to all of the executive branch of state government,” Jindal told reporters minutes after issuing the order. “It will offer good protections for the people of Louisiana.”

Y’all have heard of a fig leaf, right? This is one. Despite all the outrage this action has inspired in the easily outraged sectors of social media, this order is of limited scope and will lapse when PBJ leaves office in 2016 unless his successor gives it CPR.

This is what happens when a Governor has a 32% approval rating, they lose key votes. I’m not sure who’s more delusional, Jindal or Chris Christie. At least Christie is a talented stump performer whereas Jindal has all the charisma of a Jello salad.  PBJ keeps serving himself up at church suppers in Iowa but it’s not working. When you’re that unpopular back home, it’s hard for voters to take your candidacy seriously.

Continue reading “The Eddie Haskell Factor Revisited”

Headline Of The Day: Josh Marshall Edition

The Louisiana lege is in session, desperately trying to divert attention from the destruction it and Gov PBJ hath wrought in the last 7 years. (Contemplating the wreckage makes me feel all Old Testamenty hence the hath.)And what do GOPers do when they’re in such a fix? Find a social issue hot button to mash down on via legislative resolution. Ain’t no hotter button right now than marriage equality, and while you’re at it, demand the two Jewish  female Supremes recuse themselves. Here’s Josh Marshall’s headline on a post linking to the TPM story linked to above about the whole mishigas: I decided to … Continue reading Headline Of The Day: Josh Marshall Edition

Lazy (Media) Days

I’m never surprised when the national MSM media falls back on cliches and platitudes but it still bugs the living shit out of me. At a time when research has been made easier by the interwebs, they prefer spewing out the received knowledge of the conventional wisdom rather than doing any actual reporting. The political punditocracy are usually the laziest media cats, but some of the “reporting” out of Baltimore and the Supreme Court beat has been lazier than Oscar and Della on a hot August afternoon. I turned on MSNBC a few hours ago and they had two of the players … Continue reading Lazy (Media) Days

Malaka Of The Week: Mike Johnson

I’ve written a lot about Johnsons this week of both the metaphorical and literal variety. The latest Johnson on my radar (blogdar?) is State Rep. Mike Johnson a Republican from Bossier City, which is in North Louisiana. He’s the unctuously self-righteous biblebanging cretin behind-you guessed it-the so called religious freedom act. Johnson and our equally unctuous (the word ofthe day, apparently) Governor have made passing this atrocity a priority this legislative session. And that is why Mike Johnson is malaka of the week.

Johnson’s bill is designed to solve a problem that does not exist; you know, the whole gay wedding cake/photographer thing. Johnson is out to make a name for himself and PBJ is out to make himself the *most* extreme candidate in the GOP Presidential field on this issue. In short, he’s trying to run to the right of Mike Huckabe. Who knew there was any room to Huck’s right? I thought Chuck Norris took up more space than that.

Continue reading “Malaka Of The Week: Mike Johnson”

How Many People Need to Suffer for Discrimination to be Wrong?

Rod Dreher, being stupid on purpose:  That’s the other thing about the Indiana freakout: Where, exactly, are the many examples of businesses discriminating against same-sex patrons? If Indiana in 2015 were like Mississippi in 1956, that would be one thing. But the number of cases nationwide where this has happened has been small, involving rare instances in which a commercial service is arguably a form of coerced expression. America has changed on homosexuality — for the better, in most cases. Refusing to serve gay customers is bad for business, which is why almost nobody does it. It is understandably offensive … Continue reading How Many People Need to Suffer for Discrimination to be Wrong?

Pence On Fire

The most interesting thing about the great Hoosier Hoo-Ha is how little thought the Indiana lege and Governor Pence gave to the *possible* implications of the whole mishigas. It’s true that 19 other states have similar laws but Indiana’s drew more attention from the MSM for two reasons. First, Pence is thought to have Presidential ambitions. Second, the Final Four will be in Indianapolis this weekend. The MSM has a short attention span but it loves to speculate about candidates and who among us doesn’t love March Madness? Btw, I’ve adopted the Wisconsin Badgers as my tournament team for the second year in a row.

Back to the pantsing of Mike Pence after the break.

Continue reading “Pence On Fire”

Mike Pence: We’re Discriminating But Not Like in a Mean Way or Anything

Just fucking kill me:  I spoke with Pence on the same day that thousands of people rallied at the Statehouse in opposition to the law. And the same day that Angie’s List CEO Bill Oesterle announced that his company will abandon a deal with the state and city to expand the company’s headquarters in Indianapolis because of RFRA’s passage. Oesterle’s statement is a telling sign that the outrage over RFRA isn’t limited only to the political left. Oesterle directed Republican Mitch Daniels’ 2004 campaign for governor. And it’s a signal that the damage from the RFRA debacle could be extensive. … Continue reading Mike Pence: We’re Discriminating But Not Like in a Mean Way or Anything

Not Everyone Got Enlightened At Once

History did not begin when we noticed it:  So much of our gay history, even from gay activists, comes from a touchstone that the past was a horrible place and that only after 1969 did things improve. This is not so dissimilar from our popular history of sexuality. Both on both counts, the history is much more complicated and if the 1950s and early 1960s were a period of repression of gays (and sexuality more broadly), before World War II, it’s a whole other country out there. I think we have this idea that once upon a time it was … Continue reading Not Everyone Got Enlightened At Once

Forward Out of Darkness, Forward Into Light

Or, as we say around these parts, FUCK YEAH ALABAMA:  The well-worn path of defiance against the federal courts, and the imagery that invokes, is one the governor ofAlabama said he would rather not travel. Gov. Robert Bentley, a Republican and a Southern Baptist, said he believes strongly that marriage is between one man and one woman, but that the issue should be “worked out through the proper legal channels” and not through defiance of the law. The governor noted that Alabama is about to be in the spotlight again with the 50th anniversary of the Voting Rights Act of … Continue reading Forward Out of Darkness, Forward Into Light

Which One Is The Horse’s Ass?

That’s obviously a rhetorical question. It’s the two legged one on the right: A Mississippi pastor decided to stomp around outside a federal courthouse on Friday with a horse dressed in a wedding gown, to protest legalization of gay marriage in his state. “I just wanna send a message saying, you know, how far are we gonna take this thing?” Reverend Edward James told local station WJTV. The reverend’s game of dress-up came after a federal judge overturned Mississippi’s gay marriage ban in late November. He told the local station that he hopes he and his horse, Charlotte, make an impression … Continue reading Which One Is The Horse’s Ass?

“A good dress rehearsal”

He was shorter than his partner, although they both looked nice in their “of the era” tuxedos, and his name was Scott. He was about 25 or so, short and yet stylish brown hair combed back and perfectly moussed. In 1996, I went to the State Capitol building to see a handful of gay and lesbian couples take part in a “gay wedding.” A member of the group “The Lesbian Avengers” officiated the event and friends gathered to support these 15 couples who were tying the knot. The State Journal sent me out there on a Friday, which meant I … Continue reading “A good dress rehearsal”

Inaction Speaks Louder Than Words

I rarely link to BuzzFeed here. I restrict posting listicles and tests to see which Boardwalk Empire character one is to facebook and da twittah. I made that last one up, but there oughta be a such test. Get on it, y’all. Anyway, I don’t think BuzzFeed when I contemplate posting about SCOTUS but their legal editor, Chris Geidner, wrote the best thing I’ve read about the court’s refusal to grant cert yesterday: Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy often focuses on two ideas when he plays a part in moving the law: human dignity and the cumulative importance of the states. … Continue reading Inaction Speaks Louder Than Words

‘It’s Over’

Even Governor Deadeyes admits it:  The governor, a named defendant in the lawsuit by eight same-sex couples, said he had voted for Wisconsin’s ban in 2006 and hadn’t changed his support for it, but he said he was accepting the Supreme Court’s decision. Asked if the U.S. Constitution should be amended to ban same-sex marriage, Walker downplayed the notion, saying, “I think it’s resolved.” “For us, it’s over in Wisconsin,” Walker said of the fight over gay marriage. “Others will have to talk about the federal level.” It’s a losing issue for Republicans and it always should have been. I’ve … Continue reading ‘It’s Over’

Fuck No, Louisiana

Dateline: New Orleans. I always wanted to do that. Sweet dreams are made of this…

Judge Martin Feldman channeled Rick Santorum and Nino Scalia in his opinion upholding the Louisiana ban on gay marriage today:

U.S. District Judge Martin Feldman upheld Louisiana’s ban on same-sex marriage Wednesday, the first time a federal judge has ruled against marriage equality proponents since the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark ruling last year in U.S. v. Windsor invalidated a portion of the federal Defense of Marriage Act.

In his long-awaited 32-page decision, Feldman dismissed a lawsuit brought by same-sex marriage proponents who argued that Louisiana’s ban violates the U.S. Constitution’s guarantee of equal protection under the law, writing that Louisiana has a “legitimate interest” in “addressing the meaning of marriage through the democratic process.”

It marked the first time since the Windsor ruling that a federal judge has decided a state’s authority to define marriage trumps the right of a gay or lesbian couple to equal treatment, snapping an unbroken string of victories for gay-rights advocates in states from Utah to Virginia.

Judge Feldman did the old right-wing soft shoe about how this could lead to incestuous marriages and all that shit, but this is just one more round in this  long fight. Frankly, the Fifth Circuit is chock-full-O-barking-mad-wingnuts and would have reversed a favorable ruling in any event. This way, they’ll affirm, which will help send this case to the Supremes. One of the reasons they have for taking cases is a conflict in the circuit courts, which will happen when the 5th Circuiteers get their hands on the Robicheaux v. Caldwell case.

Continue reading “Fuck No, Louisiana”

‘You Are the Same’

Yes:  Jean Salzer, 49, and Linda Kapheim, 52, said they were surprised how quickly Crabb acted and hadn't been prepared for Friday's ruling. Two of their friends married Friday night while they were at a Tony Bennett concert in Milwaukee. "Then we looked at each other and said, 'Let's do this,'" Salzer said. They married Saturday morning. Though they have been together for 14 years, Kapheim said, "It just makes it so real for family." "I think there's that legitimacy piece," Salzer agreed. "You are the same as everyone else. Someone with power says we are married." A.  Continue reading ‘You Are the Same’

JUMP AROUND BITCHES

Well, here's one less thing for me to feel superior about sitting here in Illinois, and I couldn't be happier:  U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb in Madison Friday overturned Wisconsin's gay marriage ban, striking down an amendment to the state constitution approved overwhelmingly by voters in 2006. Crabb did not stay her ruling but also did not immediately issue an order blocking the enforcement of the order, leaving it for the moment unclear whether couples could immediately marry in the courthouses of Wisconsin. Instead, Crabb asked the gay couples who had sued over the ban to describe by June 16 exactly what … Continue reading JUMP AROUND BITCHES

Two Dudes

Oh suck it, you moralistic bitchasses: The reason we put it on the front page is simple: No story in our newspaper would generate more interest than this one. For some people, the very idea of homosexual marriage is appalling. They sincerely believed that this is a violation of God’s law and the more acceptable it becomes to society, the more clear it becomes that the moral fabric of our country is in tatters. For others, the marriage of Toven and Taylor is evidence that our society is on a path to increasing tolerance and they celebrate what they view … Continue reading Two Dudes

Tweet of the Day: TBogg Edition

Some of the best tweets are essentially sight gags like this one by the estimable TBogg: PA. court just gave us the okay to force Rick Santorum to gay marry. Break out the gay-marrying suit.#Pennsylvaniapic.twitter.com/UxStzJxJQg — TBogg (@tbogg)May 20, 2014 Former Senator Man Dog Sex looks like a Louisiana politician in that ice cream suit, man. It’s a better look than the whole parochial school sweater vest thing. Before I forget, FUCK YEAH, PENNSYLVANIA. Continue reading Tweet of the Day: TBogg Edition