Gospel of Athenae 1:1-15: Fuck This Guy


Behold, a massive jerkoff sits at the controls of the North Mississippi Daily Journal:

I don’t write a column often, but as publisher and CEO of the Journal there are times when I feel a responsibility to share my thoughts on a subject and ensure our company is not misunderstood based on our job to report the news and share both sides of a story. I’ll also preface the following thoughts by saying if you don’t believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God and the source of authority that trumps all others, you’re not likely to agree with the rest of this column.

So you don’t want your company to be misunderstood as a news organization.


Last week the U.S. Supreme Court gave federal recognition to same sex marriages making it the law of the land. Our governmental authorities, like all of us, are not perfect, and they don’t always follow God’s plans. However, inasmuch as their decisions and authority is not contradicting God’s Word, we must obey according to Romans 13:1-7. On those occasions when government leaders make decisions that are contrary to God’s Word and expect us to do things contrary to God’s will, we must obey and honor God instead as Peter and the apostles did in Acts 5:29.

Does God send a memo as to which laws contradict Him and which don’t? What font does He use? I think He uses Comic Sans just to fuck with people.

Regardless of the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision, marriage is still what God said it is in Genesis 2:24, the union of one man and one woman for life. While this decision will require states to issue “marriage” licenses to same-sex couples, this does not make it acceptable to God.

As yet the Lazy Sumbitch has not made His dissatisfaction known.

It’s not like He lacks the budget, either. One or two forecasts calling for frogs raining down from the sky and I think we’d all crack His code. Therefore we can all assume He either a) has bigger shit to worry about or b) actively approves of all these gay couples getting hitched in His holy name.

God’s position is consistent and will not change regardless of how any judge rules. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that this is an unacceptable lifestyle before our Almighty God, and the more we condone and embrace it, the more we become a nation that is forgetting God and the principles upon which this great nation was founded.

Which begs this most critical question: So fucking what?

When this country was founded I was the property of my husband and my next door neighbor was three-fifths of a person. All of that was completely acceptable to Almighty God and the principles on which our nation was founded, so you’ll pardon me if I don’t mourn their passing.

Our response and reaction to this decision by the Supreme Court doesn’t need to be one of hate, but rather one of love, including those who experience same-sex attraction, without comprising our beliefs and while maintaining strong convictions on the Bible’s teachings.

Nothing says love like quoting Leviticus and refusing to publish people’s wedding announcements: 

I also questioned Foster in the email about something he did not directly disclose in his anti-gay marriage column: He has directed advertising and sales staff at the Daily Journal to refuse to accept for publication announcements of same-sex marriages. As of now, anyone in Northeast Mississippi who wants to see publication of wedding announcements of marriages of same-sex couples must turn to another news organization.

Or to a company that is not going to be misunderstood as one under any circumstances.


4 thoughts on “Gospel of Athenae 1:1-15: Fuck This Guy

  1. I wonder if the Daily Journal publishes news of divorce proceedings? Wouldn’t that be contrary to Dinglefritz’s interpretation of the will of Almighty God (who’s looking sort of puny lately, what with all this stuff happening contrary to that holy will) that one man and one woman marry for life pursuant to Gen. 2:24? I wonder if Dinglefritz has been married just the one God-approved time, or if he’s rebelliously gotten married two or more times?

    If he has, though, I’m sure there’s a really good reason for it. You know, one that Dinglefritz has decided God would approve of.

  2. after going to Tenn, i felt i was in another country, the bible belt is a different world. or time. i imagine this is like the coming of mini skirts. WOMEN’S LIBERATION! OH NOES! GAY MARRIAGE!!! ROME IS BIRNING!!

  3. Hmm. Publisher and CEO. Guess that’s why he didn’t feel the need to submit his opinion piece to proofreading, which it sorely needed.

    Beyond that, there’s a very strong whiff of “I’m fuckin’ stupid, AND PROUD OF IT, DAMMIT” to this little rant, although I’m sure that said Publisher and CEO intended it to be, instead, something other than that, say, a statement of firm principles on which he and his esteemed Publication will not bend. Especially that “telling both sides of the story,” which he seems to want to obliterate–in the excepted case of teh gays–despite his defense of the principle, sorry-assed as it is, so often.

    The truly sad part is that this screed is probably the only notoriety the newspaper will ever receive. Recognition of its reporting, Gawdly though it may be, umm, not so much. It was just this past weekend that an expose’ appeared which showed the effects of Tunica County, Mississippi, frittering away over three-quarters of a billion dollars in revenues with nothing to show for it but an Olympics-sized swimming pool and tax abatement for its wealthiest citizens.

    Now, I’m pretty sure that Mr. Publisher and CEO knows that Tunica County is quite literally in his backyard. His stomping grounds. But, while he’s busy publishing whiny editorials about that evil gay marriage, he’s leaving the news reporting on said backyard to The Washington Post.

    There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

  4. I encourage everyone to write letters of support to the Daily Journal. With copious errors of logic, fact, spelling and grammar. Just in case their normal subscribers don’t provide enough of them.

Comments are closed.