The Insult Comedian’s lust for retribution may have bitten him in the ass again. John Cornyn looks like the senator from central casting and his sins against the dear leader are insignificant: He was slow to endorse Trump in 2024. That’s Trump’s public excuse for endorsing his fellow crook. I’m inclined to think the Kaiser of Chaos is lashing out at senate GOPers for showing signs of independence on the Iran War.

The Cornyn-Paxton runoff was one of the most expensive races in American history. The ads were vicious and plentiful. They seem to have already been scrubbed from the internet. The general election between Paxton and Talarico is likely to set spending records. Republicans are going to have to spend a small fortune propping up their weak and deeply corrupt candidate.

The litany of Paxton’s sins is long. I’ll let TPM’s Josh Kovensky fill you in:

It’s been a bizarre race worthy of the Texas GOP. Paxton, the state’s Attorney General since 2015, has spent the last several years mired in a spiraling series of scandals. Connoisseurs will remember that Paxton first entered Texas politics in the early 2000s as a stalwart of the state’s conservative evangelical community. Since then, he’s been impeached by his own party over abuse of office and corruption allegations, including an episode in which a donor and friend purportedly gave his mistress a job. Paxton was acquitted in an impeachment trial. Last year, his wife Angela announced that she was seeking a divorce “on biblical grounds.” She made no endorsement in the race.”

That’s why I call him the Texas Trump.

The AI pukes are among the biggest winners of Tuesday’s run-off. They made some truly nasty and often untrue ads. The featured image comes from a Dr. Seuss parody ad as does this image:

The attack ads also went after Paxton’s zipper issues with a Love Shack parody:

That ad was taken down at the behest of The B-52’s. They objected to their sunny tune being dragged into the mud by Team Cornyn. All I’ve got for you is the OG video:

Texas Republicans are rightly concerned about the general election after this mud bath. I found it wildly entertaining and helpful to the cause in what I call The Democrat’s White Whale. The chances for a Talarico triumph in the senate race went up after the runoff but Paxton isn’t going down without a fight and he fights dirty. He spent much of his victory speech denouncing James Talarico and his “vegan” campaign. I have no idea what that means but we’ll be hearing a lot about it as well as Sharia law. The Texas Republican malakatude, it burns.

I must admit to feeling lukewarm about Talarico. Earnest politicians who sound like preachers aren’t my jam but that doesn’t matter. In the immortal words of football’s Al Davis: Just win, baby.

I do, however, wish that Talarico and his spin doctors would cease and desist calling Ken Paxton, “the most corrupt politician in America.” He *is* a corrupt piece of shit but there’s only one king of grift and he’s the guy who’s currently looting the federal government. There’s a case to be made that Paxton is the second most corrupt politician in America but he’s a piker compared to President Pennywise.

I’ve spent my share of time in Texas over the years. I admire Texas liberals for their grit and gumption. They’re benefitting from a wave of transplants from bluer parts of the country. Ironically, Elon Musk relocating his companies to Texas could hurt his bosom buddy Donald Trump and his Texas toady, Ken Paxton. Former Reich Chancellor Musk is a wingnut but more than a few of his employees are not.

I don’t expect hard shell Texas GOPers to vote for an avowed progressive like Talarico, but many may be unwilling to vote for Paxton after the working over Team Cornyn gave him.

Repeat after me: Vote against the crook, it’s important.

The last word goes to Emmylou Harris: