I write the first draft of this feature every Thursday morning. It was an unusual day in New Orleans: We had a major weather event Wednesday night that just brushed my neighborhood but smacked some other areas upside the head. The storm was briefly Tropical Storm Arthur but it’s nameless as it peters out; pun intended; it always is. The storm brought chaos and three tornados to the broader metro area but not confusion: If you live here long enough you get used to this shit.

The featured image is of a Bourbon Street barber shop circa 1935. Walker Evans did some of his best WPA photography in New Orleans. Imagine getting a haircut for a quarter. That translates to a shade over six bucks in today’s money. A helluva deal.

In other news, I’m an avid app Scrabble player. Its dictionary has expanded to include some profanity. I played fucker and shit the other day, which gave me some perverse satisfaction. Why, I’ll never know.

The selection of this week’s theme song was inspired by last Sunday’s movie post about New York Confidential. It’s set in New Orleans, not New York although most of us were rooting for the Knicks to win the championship. Their shitbag owner plans to celebrate at the White House with his dirtbag pal Donald. It’s unclear how many on the team will join Mr. Dolan in sucking up to the Kaiser of Chaos.

Confidential was written by Ed Volker and landed on the Radiators’ 1989 album, Zig-Zaggin’ Through Ghostland. I do my share of zigzagging to avoid potholes and oak tree roots whilst cruising the city on foot.

We have two versions of Confidential for your listening pleasure: the studio OG and the Rads live in 2023.

Now that we’ve exchanged confidences, it’s time to hush, make that hush-hush:

We begin our second act with a trip to a daunting and downright disgusting place: The Insult Comedian’s brain.

Trump’s Brain: The good people at Slate decided to do a survey of Trump’s interests and cultural obsessions and how well he understands them. The segments include takes on old movies and movie stars as well as musicals and AI slop. It’s just another day in President Pennywise’s twisted brain as well as great fun for readers.

To dive into Trump’s head, click here.

Harry Connick Jr sings us out of this segment.

Sonny Rollins died last month at the age of 95. There’s a fine essay By Ned Rothenberg in the NYT about the great sax player and his affection for the Williamsburg Bridge:

From the summer of 1959 to the autumn of 1961, he retired from public performance and spent upward of 15 hours a day practicing on the Williamsburg Bridge’s pedestrian walkway.

 

He made the bridge his musical mountaintop. He was living by then in an apartment he shared with his wife, Lucille, on Grand Street on the Lower East Side, a short walk away. Initially, he made this trek out of consideration for a neighbor who was pregnant and needed her rest. But he found unexpected rewards competing with the roar of the trains rolling by. “It was so wonderful to be so close to the sky up there, any time of year. Maybe this might sound a little bit corny to people, but it was a spiritual feeling to me,” Mr. Rollins told The Guardian in 2022.

What a fascinating subplot for a life well-spent. Rothenberg shares a link to a petition urging the renaming of the bridge after Rollins. I signed it. You can too by clicking here.

The only time I saw Sonny Rollins perform was last century at the Greek Theatre at UC Berkeley. He opened with this Stevie Wonder number, which closes out our second act:

We begin our third act with our favorite stolen feature.

Separated At Birth Skeet Edition: This week’s dynamic duo is broverse puke Joe Rogan and Ed Wood stock company member Tor Johnson.

Joe Rogan and Tor Johnson, separated at birth.

— Art Duszynski (@artduszynski.bsky.social) 2026-06-15T01:15:02.918Z

That calls for a song:

The McBest Of Commander McBragg: I gave our favorite cartoon liar a shout out in The Big Brag. Here he is telling tall tales about the Old West, eh wot.

Your Basic Basie: It’s time for jazz royalty, Count Basie with Lester Pres Young. Say no more.

Have I told you lately how much I love Count Basie?

Lester Young made a lot of great music. His collaboration with Billie Holiday was one for the ages:

Classic Movie Trailer: This trailer should come as no surprise. It’s the film that I believe should have won the Best Picture Oscar for 1997.

Grading Time: James Ellroy dislikes this adaptation of his novel but I love it. I give LA Confidential 4 stars and an Adrastos grade of A. It’s a stone cold classic.

Saturday GIF Horse: Ready for more Tor? Johnson, that is. Here he is with Vampira in Plan 9 From Outer Space:

Let’s exit the segment on a punny note:

Toon Time: It’s not Ali Velshi at the big board; it’s the Kaiser of Chaos at the big wheel.

Vincent Furnier DBA Alice Cooper may not be a liberal but he’s also not a Trumper. This song was the first thing that occurred to me when I saw that wheely good toon:

Let’s close down this virtual honky tonk with some more music.

Saturday Closer: I’m not sure if Jammin’ The Blues qualifies as a soundie or a short but whatever it is, it’s cool. Pres was the epitome of cool.

That’s all for this week. The last word goes to Lester Young, Count Basie, and the boys in the band.