Malaka Of The Week: Mike Johnson

I’ve written a lot about Johnsons this week of both the metaphorical and literal variety. The latest Johnson on my radar (blogdar?) is State Rep. Mike Johnson a Republican from Bossier City, which is in North Louisiana. He’s the unctuously self-righteous biblebanging cretin behind-you guessed it-the so called religious freedom act. Johnson and our equally unctuous (the word ofthe day, apparently) Governor have made passing this atrocity a priority this legislative session. And that is why Mike Johnson is malaka of the week.

Johnson’s bill is designed to solve a problem that does not exist; you know, the whole gay wedding cake/photographer thing. Johnson is out to make a name for himself and PBJ is out to make himself the *most* extreme candidate in the GOP Presidential field on this issue. In short, he’s trying to run to the right of Mike Huckabe. Who knew there was any room to Huck’s right? I thought Chuck Norris took up more space than that.

Johnson’s bill has been amended to make it slightly less disgusting but it still goes farther than either the Arkansas or Indiana bills did *before* being altered:

 Johnson has said his bill is designed to protect business owners from government retaliation, based on the business owner’s view of marriage. The government shouldn’t be able to pull licenses, tax benefits and the like from a company because the owner had a view of marriage governor officials do not endorse. The bill would protect people who support — and reject — same-sex marriage, he said.

The author had already agreed to make one other change to the bill last week, pulling language that would allow businesses to deny benefits to same-sex married couples, should same-sex marriage become legal in Louisiana. Johnson said he pulled the language — which garnered national media attention — because it was “confusing.”

Religious liberty experts had said the bill has a couple of other troubling aspects. It provides cover not just for people who have religious objections to certain types of marriage, but also people who “moral” objections — which is a much more flexible term. The legislation also appears to apply to a business of any size — not just those that are family run or only run by a few people.

The bill contains loopholes that one could drive a homophobic florist’s truck through. The New Orleans business community is not amused, but PBJ is in the slash and burn phase of his governorship and no longer gives two shits what they think. Legislators like Malaka Johnson customarily hate New Orleans, thinking of it as Sodom and Gomorrah on the River. No shits given by him either.

There are signs that Johnson doesn’t have the vote to pass legislation that a friend of mine has described as the “kick me” bill. The situation is fluid, so we’ll have to keep our eyes on Malaka Mike and his Johnson. I hope his bill is neutered out of existence.

The recent spate of “religious freedom” laws is a sign that the biblethumpers know that they’ve lost the argument and that the natiowide legalization of marriage equality is not only inevitable but will happen by the end of the Supreme Court’s current term. They’re like the Confederate guerillas who took to the hills at the end of the Civil War. They’re firing ineffectually at what they think of as marauding gay hordes, but it’s an exercise in futility at this point. A change is gonna come and that is why Mike Johnson is malaka of the week.

I’ll give Sam Cooke the last word:

2 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Mike Johnson

  1. “The bill contains loopholes that one could drive a homophobic florist’s truck through.”

    Put a smile on my face, that did!


    1. Why, thank you, sir. Such an absurd image. Several of the florists I’ve known personally have been, in fact, gay.

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