Introducing Governor Tongue
“Seal my fate, I get your tongue in the mail. No one is wise, until they see how it lies.” Continue reading Introducing Governor Tongue
Month: October 2016
Headline Of The Day: Trump’s Weak Week Edition
I’ve been pondering the Insult Comedian’s dreadful post-debate week. It’s hard to recall *any* Presidential candidate having a worse one: McGovern during the Eagleton disaster, Dukakis after the “what if your wife were raped and murdered” debate question, and McCain’s “I’m suspending my campaign” meltdown all come to mind. But it’s hard to top the manifold wounds inflicted on Trump last week by himself and by damaging stories: from the Machado meltdown to his tax evasion “genius” and on and on and on. It was a week that will help make him among the losingest losers who ever lost like the … Continue reading Headline Of The Day: Trump’s Weak Week Edition
Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – “Dave’s not here” edition
Good morning, gentle people. Many thanks to the thousands that read First Draft’s special on the debate! I’m taking a week off to go and recharge my batteries This wonderful place in Nacogdoches looks like just the place to do it. Jude asked me (on the book of faces) if it was full of roaches, and I do intend to stand on the stage where The Four Nightingales became The Marx Brothers. Steve Simels – if you’re reading this, I’ll bring back some pics. As for the place Barbara and I are holing up for the next four days, take … Continue reading Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – “Dave’s not here” edition
President Obama’s Chait Chat
Looking back on the cold civil war of the Obama years. Continue reading President Obama’s Chait Chat
Poor People Don’t Pay Taxes
Nope, that’s really what they’re going with, a line of argument Mitt Romney would have rejected as OMG MEEN: When Rudy Giuliani can’t comprehend that poor people don’t pay taxes BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO MONEY. pic.twitter.com/rMUdbfHLAd — Diane N. Sevenay (@Diane_7A) October 2, 2016 Guys, sometimes I don’t post because all I have to say about this election is … Guys? SERIOUSLY, you guys. Would this be better if I was high? I feel like this all would be better if I was just really high all the time. A. Continue reading Poor People Don’t Pay Taxes
Racism, Sexism, and Where They Are Okay
SPOILER ALERT NOWHERE: On a bus tour hunt for the 2000 Playmate of the Year around the country, the Playmates travel to different cities including New York, Las Vegas, Chicago, Nashville, and San Diego. Trump welcomes the Playmates in New York and pops a bottle of champagne to kick off the New York stop. Trump then pours it over the Playboy bunny logo. “Beauty is beauty, and let’s see what happens with New York,” Trump says. Let’s pretend for a moment Alicia Machado had a sex tape (she didn’t). Why would that make it okay for Donald Trump to call … Continue reading Racism, Sexism, and Where They Are Okay
Sunday Morning Video: Albert King & Stevie Ray Vaughan Live
Time for da blooze: Continue reading Sunday Morning Video: Albert King & Stevie Ray Vaughan Live
Saturday Odds & Sods: Too Darn Hot
I’ve been complaining about the heat in this space all summer, which seems to be endless and not in a Beach Boys kinda way. It’s been more of a sweating safari than a surfing one here in New Orleans. We’ve been smashing daily records and even hit the pages of the Bezos Post:
During one of the country’s hottest summers, New Orleans quietly set a mind-boggling record. On 43 nights, the temperature did not drop below 80 degrees in New Orleans, according to the Louisiana state climatologist.
It blows the previous record out of the water — 13 nights in 2010. It’s also incredible considering in an average summer, New Orleans has just 2.1 nights at or above 80 degrees.
This record should be getting much more attention than it has been.
It’s been on my mind, yo. I’ve been bitching about it relentlessly. I guess the Insult Comedian would say it was all a Chinese plot and make a joke about chopsticks or tunneling to China a la Bugs Bunny. That’s right, it’s climate change and in the immortal words of Van the Man, it’s really, really, really, real.
The other big local story was a demonstration last Saturday that vowed to pull down the statue of General/President Jackson from the square named for him. I knew it wasn’t going to happen when I remembered that veteran activist Malcolm Suber was the group’s organizer. I’ve been acquainted with Malcolm for years and the word that comes to mind is: gadfly. He’s quite a talker, y’all. Unfortunately, Malcolm’s gadflyness attracted a certain Senate candidate:
https://twitter.com/DrDavidDuke/status/779836579766566917
I’m opposed to removing the Jackson statue despite my intense dislike of the man. I have a simple test when it comes to the monuments issue: what was the original purpose/intent of the statue? The Lee and Davis statues were erected to celebrate the Confederacy (aka treason) and white supremacy (aka racism) whereas Jackson’s honors him for the Battle of New Orleans not for being a hot-tempered, slave-owning motherfucker. Additionally, Jackson Square is part of the fabric of the community as opposed to the aforementioned statues.
Let’s get back to the blistering, blazing heat, which is showing signs of abating at last. It’s about fucking time, it’s October 1st, y’all. This week’s theme song is Cole Porter’s Too Darn Hot. It was written for his fabulously shrewish musical Kiss Me Kate. We begin with a clip from the 1953 MGM film starring Ann Miller and Howard Keel. Then we have versions by Jazz greats Ella Fitzgerald and Mel Torme. I could not choose between Ella and Mel so I opted for maximum Porter:
Finally, please give it up for the Velvet Fog. Jeez, I sound like Harry Anderson’s character on Night Court:
Now that we’ve conclusively established that it’s too darn hot, it’s time to drink some water and rehydrate. I don’t want anyone fainting after the break, after all.