Author: Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel is a 10-year veteran of the newspaper business. She publishes First Draft, a journalism and politics blog, with her partners Adrastos and Jude. She is the author of It Doesn’t End With Us: The Story of the Daily Cardinal (2008, Heritage Books) and the forthcoming Chicago’s Historic Irish Pubs (with Mike Danahey) (2011, Arcadia Books). She also edited the anthology Special Plans: The Blogs on Douglas Feith and the Faulty Intelligence That Led to War (2005, William, James & Co.). Her work has appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the Daily Southtown, Sirens Magazine, and Alternet. She lives in Chicago with her husband, daughter, two pet ferrets, and approximately 60 tons of books.
Uncategorized

Not Everything Sucks

Allison Hantschel

Jennifer Wheeler is cooking and posting videos:  “It’s not just about cooking a meal and having the meal for lunch or dinner, but it’s about connection with our ancestors and how they have been so resilient and strong,” said Jennifer Wheeler. Jennifer Wheeler, a Navajo language teacher, posted a series of videos on her Facebook page showing her making traditional foods like blue corn much and kneel down bread. Her videos have been shared across the platform tens of thousands of times. “I didn’t even imagine the response that I’m getting now,” she said. BRB adding to my “watch and … Continue reading Not Everything Sucks

Athenae, COVID-19

Yet Another Mystery

Allison Hantschel

But why, why do all these assholes keep voting for Trump?  One of the evergreen thought exercises of the Trump era has been trying to guess what it might take to finally shake the faith of his most devoted supporters. “We’re always asking, ‘What would it take to break the camel’s back?’” said former Representative Tom Rooney, Republican of Florida, who withdrew his support for Mr. Trump in 2016 after the release of the “Access Hollywood” video. “When the losers-and-suckers thing happened, I asked a friend of mine if that bothered him, and he said, ‘Nope,’” Mr. Rooney told me. … Continue reading Yet Another Mystery

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TEACH US HOW TO DOUGIE

Allison Hantschel

I told you I’d be posting pretty much nothing but Democratic mash notes from here on out. You were warned. UGH, GOD, GET A ROOM. I’m so happy America is finally getting to know the @DouglasEmhoff that I know and love. Could not be more proud of you Dougie.https://t.co/uinTbIjcFK — Kamala Harris (@KamalaHarris) October 5, 2020 Seeing a dude in these roles is always a really interesting prospect to me. Like 2/3 of the charm of a Hillary presidency would have been seeing First Gentleman Bill Clinton handling the Easter Egg Roll and all the other extremely gendered shit we … Continue reading TEACH US HOW TO DOUGIE

Athenae, COVID-19

I’d Been Wondering What the Strippers Were Doing

Allison Hantschel

The LA Times, with the news we need right now:  Co-founded by Gabrielle, Reagan, Coco Ono (real name Kayla Tange) and Kitty, the Stripperina (real name Kelly Vittetoe), the show has given the strippers a new sense of agency and empowerment in an industry that is notorious for taking advantage of women. Although they emphasized that Jumbo’s is a supportive environment run by women, other strip clubs can be exploitative. I’ve never been germophobic. It’s hard to be and ride public transportation, or really live in a city at all. You just … come to terms with a certain amount … Continue reading I’d Been Wondering What the Strippers Were Doing

Athenae, Current Affairs

Marmalade Jars

Allison Hantschel

Show me the lie: When I say these people are fucking furious to the point of wrecking the country because They took the racist caricatures off marmalade jars, I’m only mildly exaggerating. https://t.co/LOsLmj4JQw — Flying_Rodent (@flying_rodent) September 27, 2020 And, like, I don’t UNDERSTAND the stupid culture war shit over stuff like this. Even the pronoun nonsense makes more sense than this, and it makes no sense. At least then you might be talking about something you might actually do, or say, or have to change. You can still buy the damn rice. If you didn’t think about racism before … Continue reading Marmalade Jars

Uncategorized2 Comments

First Debate Crack Van!!!!!

Allison Hantschel

VAN CLOSED. THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE. I could not do that alone. Jump into the comments and tell me what you think of the new van. Transcript highlights later! Like I was watching this shit alone. Pick a name and come on in! We don’t have the sound effects anymore but we do have a stable platform that works with WordPress and it won’t crash your browser 7 times in an hour. A. Continue reading First Debate Crack Van!!!!!

Athenae, COVID-19, Elections

Start Tearing the Old Man Down

Allison Hantschel

It’s getting colder. I made two and a half quarts of soup on Sunday morning, before the rain started and the wind picked up. We have a chest freezer now. We have a store-room full of apples. Every day I peel, chop, bag, so we can use them in baking or stews. Kick and I tried to grow potatoes. We planted too late, when it was already cooling off, and damp, and they rotted in the ground, but everything else went wild, took over the small patch we planned. We’re saving seeds — tomatoes, peppers, squash — from this year’s … Continue reading Start Tearing the Old Man Down

Athenae

Not Everything Sucks

Allison Hantschel

Geo Soctomah Neptune exists. Neptune ran for the school board after being urged by community members and tribal youth, who were familiar with their work as an art teacher in an after-school program. Of the three candidates elected, Neptune received the most votes — about half. “To almost stand up and say that they’re embracing me in this leadership role as a Two Spirit was incredibly affirming,” Neptune told Maine Public. “I feel very lucky that I live in a place where my community accepts me because a lot of trans people don’t have that. Warning: incredibly loud and annoying autoplay … Continue reading Not Everything Sucks

Athenae, Religion

Anti-Catholics

Allison Hantschel

Sure, that’s the real problem here:  The scrutiny focused on Ms. Barrett’s beliefs has provoked allegations of old-fashioned anti-Catholicism on behalf of her Democratic critics. A good amount of febrile nonsense has indeed been floated regarding Ms. Barrett’s spiritual life, such as the notion that People of Praise inspired Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel “The Handmaid’s Tale,” a charge that is reminiscent of 19th-century myths of nuns kidnapping good Protestant girls to force the faith upon them. People keep pointing out the absurdity — the Democratic presidential nominee is a Catholic, the Speaker of the House is a Catholic, THE ONLY CATHOLIC PRESIDENT WE’VE EVER ACTUALLY … Continue reading Anti-Catholics

Athenae, Law/Justice1 Comment

She’s Dead, and Life is Possible. She Made It Possible.

Allison Hantschel

We had built a fire in the backyard on Friday because it was the first night it seemed cold enough to do so. It took forever to get it started. The wood was cold and a little damp from sitting in the garage all summer. The butane lighter was starting to run out of juice and we didn’t have any matches. We snapped sticks for kindling, crumpled up paper and scrap cardboard, lit it over and over and over again. When the logs finally caught, we sat back in camp chairs, roasted marshmallows. I’d been telling myself and Mr. A … Continue reading She’s Dead, and Life is Possible. She Made It Possible.

Athenae, JOEY B SHARK3 Comments

Please, They Already Have My Vote

Allison Hantschel

Mitch McConnell tries to have phone sex with me: MCCONNELL: "After they change the filibuster, they're going to admit the District as a state. They're going to admit Puerto Rico as a state. That's four new Democratic senators in perpetuity. Once they get a hammerlock on the Senate, they're going to then pack the Supreme Court." — Ryan Struyk (@ryanstruyk) September 18, 2020 Donald Trump makes me want to vote for Biden twice: Trump Tweets Faked Video of Biden Grooving to NWA’s ‘F— tha Police’ https://t.co/uSgKVxLVSq — Variety (@Variety) September 16, 2020 Joey B. Shark is an enormous dorkwad on his … Continue reading Please, They Already Have My Vote

Athenae, COVID-19, Education, Kids Today5 Comments

Maliciousness

Allison Hantschel

I’m never one to credit evil as an explanation where stupidity will do nicely, but as this post points out, this is starting to surpass the “wishful thinking” phase:  You pushed faculty to offer in-person classes or classes that could at least have an in-person component. Classes that drew students to campus and put butts in classroom seats were valued. You created all sorts of untested hybrid options with the idea that some personal interaction was better than none. Faculty objected and students went with online options when possible, but still you persisted. You created pokazukha websites and plans and fliers for … Continue reading Maliciousness

Athenae, COVID-19, Kids Today1 Comment

The Cannon Fodder Objects

Allison Hantschel

My first newspaper:  As more than a quarter of Wisconsin’s record-breaking 1,547 new daily cases came from UW-Madison students on Thursday, the situation in Madison is increasingly worrying. Continued spread among off-campus communities endangers all of Madison and Dane County, jeopardizing lives, local businesses and any return to normalcy. This doomed attempt to reopen will ultimately saddle local authorities with an outbreak that continues long after campus facilities close. In short, what we all had feared — what we knew would be inevitable — has come true. The exponential growth of COVID-19 cases, the lockdown of campus dorms, with the misdirection of faulting individualistic … Continue reading The Cannon Fodder Objects

Athenae, COVID-191 Comment

So Far, So Good: Pandemic Edition

Allison Hantschel

You ever hear the joke about the optimist who jumped off a building? Every floor he fell, he said, “So far, so good.” You ever hear something else? “You can do this during the day or not at all.” It worked. My mom is still furious because it would NOT have worked if she had said it, because it’s almost impossible to change a dynamic in an existing relationship, and surprisingly easy to be different for a new partner. — Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) September 7, 2020 I thought of both of those when I read this: So basically America has … Continue reading So Far, So Good: Pandemic Edition

Athenae, Economy5 Comments

It’s The Money, Stupid

Allison Hantschel

Yeah, we have known this: The problem is with the governance structure of the corporation. CEO pay is most immediately determined by corporate boards, who largely owe their jobs to top management. Furthermore, keeping their jobs depends almost entirely on keeping other board members happy. Board members who are nominated for re-election win well over 99 percent of the time. Since these jobs typically pay several hundred thousand dollars a year for a few hundred hours of work, board members generally want to keep their jobs. One sure way of pissing off other board members is asking questions like, “Can … Continue reading It’s The Money, Stupid

Uncategorized

Happy Biden Things

Allison Hantschel

SUNGLASSES: According to Biden, he’s been wearing Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses for most of his life. “My lord, I’ve been wearing aviators since I was a freshman in college as a lifeguard,” he told the Skimm in 2016.  An image search for “Joe Biden sunglasses” does not disappoint and turns up some B. Barry Bamz as well if that’s your kink, I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to serve you political crack and if you don’t know that by now, you are in the wrong place. A. Continue reading Happy Biden Things

Athenae, Stupid Everything Tricks1 Comment

Threatening the Crafters Now

Allison Hantschel

For God’s sake, it’s like they WANT to lose: At first, Guzman-Rhea sewed masks for her family, but as cases started to be identified across the state later in March, she connected online with other Wisconsinites who, like herself, were itching to feel productive. They were motivated to contribute to an urgent need during a period of deep uncertainty and stress that left many Wisconsin residents homebound and feeling helpless. Guzman-Rhea quickly found herself organizing a regional crew of crafters as part of a massive statewide group that has coordinated the donation of hundreds of thousands of homemade masks to frontline workers … Continue reading Threatening the Crafters Now

Athenae, Campaign Notes, Do Something, JOEY B SHARK

What Joe Biden Hasn’t Done

Allison Hantschel

Hasn’t condemned looting and property damage that follow protests. Hasn’t put the flag in the background of the Democratic Convention or in any commercials or campaign events. Hasn’t mentioned God and/or took God out of the Pledge of Allegiance. Is going to take away people’s guns. “You are actively trying to amend your Second Amendment right and take away our guns,” the man said. “You’re full of s—,” Biden replied, adding that “I support the Second Amendment.” Opposes law and order.  Hates police. I can do this all day, you know. I can line-by-line refute what’s being shared around various … Continue reading What Joe Biden Hasn’t Done

Athenae, So Called Liberal Media1 Comment

Trump’s Illness Isn’t an Illness

Allison Hantschel

Look, even if this shit was effective (and it’s not) it would still be hot garbage: There’s something wrong with Donald Trump. He has trouble speaking, walking. He’s weak. Why aren’t we talking about this?#TrumpIsNotWell — The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) August 29, 2020 Trump is not a bad president because he can’t walk very fast or needs to use two hands to drink water or occasionally slurs his words. He’s a bad president because he’s appointed bad people to every job in the land and is spouting white supremacist nonsense every single day. If he was doing it from a … Continue reading Trump’s Illness Isn’t an Illness

Athenae, Stupid Republican Tricks4 Comments

Who Thinks Like This?

Allison Hantschel

I hate horror movies. (I am still watching Lovecraft Country, because Lovecraft + racial reckoning + OMAR COMIN’.) However, I will not watch all five SAW movies. I will not watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I will not watch any of the Halloweens and I only saw one of the Friday the 13ths at a sleepover like 100 years ago and none of the others nor that one ever since. People tell me I should watch the Haunting of Hill House because SHIRLEY THEE JACKSON but I cannot. I got 20 seconds into The Ring and shut that shit down. … Continue reading Who Thinks Like This?

Athenae, Diary3 Comments

How To Lose 25 Pounds in Quarantine*

Allison Hantschel

First, and this is critical, plan ahead. Like ideally four years ahead, the point in the past at which your country can elect a neon-colored asshead cheeto bigot. You’d think that wouldn’t be important later, as you’re intimately versed in how awful political losses are, but this one acts slow. First there’s the shock and fear, then the profound disappointment, then the anger. Skip bargaining and acceptance, they’re bullshit. Sometimes dabble in depression but mostly allow each day — with its particular indignity, executive order, general embarrassment, or outright attempt to murder those you love — to return you to … Continue reading How To Lose 25 Pounds in Quarantine*

Athenae, So Called Liberal Media2 Comments

Local Journalism

Allison Hantschel

Whenever someone’s shrieking about SAVE LOCAL JOURNALISM I think of things like this, wherein apparently nobody could Google anything [loud annoying autoplay live feed at link because no journalist has ever considered UX in any way at all]:  GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOOD) — A peaceful protest against human trafficking in Grand Rapids brought a frequently forgotten criminal business to the forefront. Wherever there are people, there is the potential for human trafficking, according to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. The department says thousands of cases are reported every year, though many cases go unnoticed. It’s a cause that compelled the … Continue reading Local Journalism

Athenae, COVID-19, Propaganda, Stupid Republican Tricks1 Comment

On Unity

Allison Hantschel

I’ve been done since March 20th with shaming individual people for decisions that should have been handled by the institutions we task with such things. Mad at kids partying in a club? Live from Stillwater, Oklahoma tonight ladies and gentleman. This is how #OkState students are complying to off campus social distancing guidelines. pic.twitter.com/zKQu1PyMP1 — Ryan Novozinsky (@ryannovo62) August 16, 2020 That’s not on “college students,” who make terrible decisions, news at 11. It’s on the city, county and state, and the presumed adults who own and operate that club, to shut that shit down. We keep acting like people … Continue reading On Unity

Art, Athenae1 Comment

Not Everything Sucks

Allison Hantschel

People are still making art, public art:  A new grant program in central Wisconsin will employ artists to paint murals in rural parts of Portage County. It’s inspired by New Deal-era employment programs, and designed to help put artists who’ve been affected by the pandemic back to work. “Paint the County” is a new project by the nonprofit CREATE Portage County. They’ve identified five sites for the murals so far, and have opened applications for artists interested in creating them. Over the next year or so, CREATE will use grant funding of between $50,000 and $100,000 to pay the selected artists to create the murals, said … Continue reading Not Everything Sucks

Athenae, Stupid Everything Tricks1 Comment

RBG’s Fanclub Isn’t The Problem

Allison Hantschel

Jesus tits, the world is on fire, imagine thinking people making Etsy pins are the problem here:  This national death watch is an absurd and distressing phenomenon. And yet Ginsburg’s physical frailty is central to her pop-cultural cachet. The whole appeal of her little-old-lady archetype is that it situates her as an underdog and makes for a heady contrast to her intellectual might. In a sequence from the 2018 documentary “RBG” that has been sliced into GIFs and pasted around the internet as tribute, she wears a “SUPER DIVA!” sweatshirt as she heaves teensy hand weights over her shoulders. Even … Continue reading RBG’s Fanclub Isn’t The Problem

Athenae, Music1 Comment

There’s Some Whores in This House

Allison Hantschel

Everyone was clowning on The Virgin Ben yesterday which I’m glad we all had fun with, we desperately needed it: 😩😂😂😂 https://t.co/BoMFEkk0IG — Cardi B (@iamcardib) August 10, 2020 I am just super done with white people freaking out about Black women’s music, and Black music generally. I grew up in the Tipper Gore/2 Live Crew era and even as a white kid it was fucking embarrassing that these were our adult public figures acting as if hearing grown-ass people recite the lyrics to “Me So Horny” was any less traumatizing than half-hearing them sung by their progenitors. This made … Continue reading There’s Some Whores in This House