Please, They Already Have My Vote

Mitch McConnell tries to have phone sex with me:

Donald Trump makes me want to vote for Biden twice:

Joey B. Shark is an enormous dorkwad on his best day, there has been nothing cool about him since 1957 and that’s actually one of the coolest things about him, but damn if Republicans aren’t going out of their way to make him look BADASS.

I mean it. Every day some YAF-minted dickwad in a $14 suit hops on Fox to say Joe’s going to let the Black Panthers run the State Department I’m like shit yeah, let’s rumble.

They post “what a pussy” pictures of Joe in a black facemask and suddenly Joseph Robinette Biden becomes a BRILF, a Bank Robber I’d Like to Fuck.

Joe “about that busing thing” Biden wants to abolish the police and give your McMansion to welfare people. It’s ABOUT TIME he went in that direction, who needs a 6,000 square foot house to themselves, you can give BLM some room in there, you won’t even notice.

He wants to burn down the Burger King! Have you EATEN at a Burger King lately? Bring. It. On.

If the Democrats retake the Senate they’ll pack the courts with ideologues and make a bunch of places states and suddenly we can put an NFL team in American Samoa that will fuck up the entire rest of the league? DOOOO EEEEET.

Biden hates the police! WELL half the comments on cop PR posts are firefighters bragging they’ve spit-roasted the entire department’s badge bunnies. Whose side you want to pick in that fight, the guys who rescue children and kittens or the ones who empty a mag into anything that bugs them and then whine when someone’s sign is rude?

They keep this up, I’m going to take their advice and vote eight times, one for each orgasm.

A.

3 thoughts on “Please, They Already Have My Vote

  1. LarrytheRed says:

    Trump is too stupid to get how much he energizes us. Keep it up. I didn’t mention his followers because they’re followers.

  2. Michael D. Storey says:

    wow is this sumpthin. Hope that you sat down and drank a whole glass of iced cold lemonade after you wrote this. What I wanna know is this: RBG is barely cold and they are dancin on her grave, planning her replacement. What the fuck kinda respect is that? Don’t like girls on the court? Well, at least respect the court. Start me up here?

    • LarrytheRed says:

      “Hope that you sat down and drank a whole glass of iced cold lemonade after you wrote this.” A shot or two of whiskey would help better.

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