Shkreli Cat, Shkreli Cat, what are you feeding us?

We spent most of last night at the emergency room with my mother-in-law. She suffered a massive stroke a number of years ago and lost almost all of her movement on her left side. As such, there are times where her muscles spasm uncontrollably and tighten to the point of unrelenting pain. Last night was one of those nights, even after three tablets of Percocet and whatever else they prescribed to her. Eventually, we found ourselves working with a wonderful set of doctors until nearly 2:30 in the morning, who worked tirelessly to help cease her pain and loosen her … Continue reading Shkreli Cat, Shkreli Cat, what are you feeding us?

Taking a shot at an unclear incident

A recent shootout in my hometown area has me confused over the way I’m supposed to view things. Given the large number of shootings that have happened over time, it’s clear that we need some important information before we’re allowed to react to it. The guts of the story is that on Wednesday, a shootout took place in Milwaukee among about four cars along Interstate 43. Only one person was injured, according to news reports, as the people involved engaged in gunplay. At least a dozen shots were fired in the incident and the interstate was closed for several hours, … Continue reading Taking a shot at an unclear incident

Where Prayer Has Been Valid

“The beauty of sport, it seems to me, is that it provides a much-needed lift from the rigors of everyday life.” -Al Michaels   We all seem to have spent a lot of time talking about what God will and will not fix and how prayer isn’t enough to do much of anything. The term “prayer shaming” has entered our vocabulary, as if it’s a real thing. We also have to find yet another way to bend in our heads what is a “terrorist” and what isn’t. We also have spent too much time figuring out how when some nut … Continue reading Where Prayer Has Been Valid

Heroes often fail

A young woman from my feature writing class sat in my office and stared at me long and hard. She halted for a moment before saying something I knew to be true: “I’ve never seen you like this before.” We were sitting in my office during perhaps the worst stretch of my professional life, discussing how the concept of feature writing relies on both factual reporting and observation. She was probably one of the best kids I’ve had in a long time and she wasn’t off by much in what she was observing. I looked back at her with a … Continue reading Heroes often fail

Just take that thing off the wall

In his book “Dealing,” author Terry Pluto detailed a pivotal moment in the rebuilding of the Cleveland Indians franchise. The team had begun rebuilding after a long period of prosperity, using young players and absorbing losing seasons in the process. The team adopted a vision statement that spoke of professionalism, positive attitudes  and an “all for one” attitude. The message hung on the walls of the team’s offices and was a guiding principle for how the team conducted itself. During this rebuilding process, General Manager Mark Shapiro acquired an incredible player named Milton Bradley (the fun line about him was … Continue reading Just take that thing off the wall

Mizzou Protests: The rights of the mob.

My alma mater was front and center all last week for some of the best and worst reasons. The issue of racism on campus and in Columbia is something that won’t be solved by a couple firings and a hunger strike. Everyone involved knew that, but they also knew that the center couldn’t hold and that this problem wasn’t going to be addressed without an intensifying, public movement. I’ve written about this and others have poured thousands of words into the topic as well, so to look at something else pertaining to this, in my mind, isn’t skipping past the … Continue reading Mizzou Protests: The rights of the mob.

Mizzou and Racism: Did I finally take the red pill?

(Got the OK from the boss before posting. Sorry to step on people’s time, but I figured there was no way this would be happening today. Friday seemed too long to wait. Thanks– Doc.) When I was 24, I packed up everything I owned (a sad and tiny amount that barely filled one-fourth of a modest moving van) and trekked out to Columbia, Missouri to begin my adult life. Through a bit of fortune and fate, I had landed a job teaching at Mizzou as a member of the professional-practice track at the “Best Journalism School in the Country.” I … Continue reading Mizzou and Racism: Did I finally take the red pill?

Ernest Henley was right

Still on the road at the annual college media convention. Sorry for the lateness of the post. -Doc Being on the road and in full-crisis mode over various personal and professional issues makes it really hard to sleep. It’s incredible that you get to see people you only see once a year and yet you slip right back into hugs and conversations you’ve been having for years. It’s an incredible feeling that makes you realize you’re never really alone; you’re just a little farther away from what you remember and the people you love. And you also realize those people … Continue reading Ernest Henley was right

I’m sorry the facts don’t fit your narrative: Guns edition

As HRC continues her walk of shame through the Republican gauntlet of stupid, I found two moments completely perfect in capturing how some people just don’t get it. The first, and the funniest, was the exchange she had with Alabama’s Martha Roby (R-Darwin’s Waiting Room) in which Roby asked Clinton if she was home alone the night of the Benghazi attack. When Clinton responded that she was, Roby’s reply was golden: “The whole night?” This, of course, had Clinton laughing and Roby not getting it, which is to say she’s either a bible-thumping Alabama housewife who couldn’t conceive of how … Continue reading I’m sorry the facts don’t fit your narrative: Guns edition

You can’t have it both ways: Statehouse Edition

I have seen this interaction take place quite a bit over the years and it usually involves a child, a parent and a purchase. Child: “I want this and that.” Parent: “That’s $10. You only have five. You have to choose.” Child: “But I want them both!” Parent: “But you don’t have enough money.” Child: “Can’t you just give me $5 more?” Parent: “No, but if you promise to (insert semi-painful, menial home task, like cutting the lawn or resurfacing the driveway) when we get home, I’ll give you the $5 then and you can come back and buy it.” … Continue reading You can’t have it both ways: Statehouse Edition

Under the Knife

Filing an early missive because I’m being forced to undergo the first of two carpal tunnel surgeries. Wrote this on Wednesday night, so by the time you’re reading it, I’ll be stoned out of my mind on whatever he gives me for pain, watching whatever Law and Order rerun is on basic cable… The surgery is freaking me out a bit. Sure, it’ll be nice to feel my thumbs and forefingers again and maybe sleep without the “dog paw” braces my doctor had me in, but I’m not a big fan of having doctors poke at me. I think it … Continue reading Under the Knife

Please Welcome Back to the Stage… SCOTT WALKER!

Everyone from Steven Colbert to the local radio DJs has been enjoying the recent withdraw of Scott Walker from the presidential race. Perhaps the best one was Seth Meyers’ recent poke in which he noted that Walker’s next job would be as the photo in the dictionary next to the word “duuuuuhhhhh.” Walker, however, had a different job in mind: Coming back to Wisconsin to continue fucking up this great state. However, to try to garner more support and to convince people he wasn’t just a shitty bobble head programmed to say only three phrases, he’s working on his new … Continue reading Please Welcome Back to the Stage… SCOTT WALKER!

Murder-Suicides: Stop giving these tools such good tools

A friend of mine messaged me in a somewhat panicked state a few months back. She is a professor at a university in Texas and her state was about to pass a “right to carry” bill that would allow concealed firearms on her campus. Wisconsin had recently passed a right to carry law that allowed for similar things and she wondered how it worked by us. I understood why she was worried, as I also had concerns about students packing heat in my class. However, the classes I taught were pretty benign. I didn’t imagine a kid pulling out a … Continue reading Murder-Suicides: Stop giving these tools such good tools

“Fuck You” Nation

(Note: I had this in the hopper last week, but out of respect for the Katrina posts, I decided to sit it out. This was what I had, with a recent rewrite of the back end. — Doc) As I drove through the Fox Valley last night, I passed a local car dealership with three giant U.S. flags that flew at half-staff. Truth be told, I can’t remember the last time they were at their full height, due to the wide array of mass shootings and homicides we have experienced lately as a country. I moved past the dealership, onto … Continue reading “Fuck You” Nation

Internet to Alpha Phi: It’s horrible when you portray yourselves the way you want

Nothing seems to draw more outrage these days than people being whoever they are and showing others their least-positive side. Donald Trump’s “blood feud” with Megyn Kelly, Jared Fogle’s proclivity for children and Josh Duggar’s general hypocrisy when it comes to “family values.” All of these guys are scummy assholes who deserve whatever is coming to them. For Duggar and Fogle, it’s likely going to be an unpleasant prison experience. For Trump, it’s probably going to be a runaway sprint to the Republican nomination for president. Trump has always been a sexist blowhard. He’s the physical embodiment of the sexist … Continue reading Internet to Alpha Phi: It’s horrible when you portray yourselves the way you want

“Pals” to the end

Two years ago this week, I wrote “Pals,” a piece that explained how it was that a buddy of mine named Scott basically turned around my views on what my life had become. Monday, I found out he has a fatal heart ailment and that only a transplant will save his life. In the past five days, I’ve thought of little else, regardless of what I’m doing, which makes it hard to see the forest for the trees. I have also discovered that the ways in which I am used to seeking help, solace and strength don’t apply here. I … Continue reading “Pals” to the end

The Legend of Izzy’s

Growing up in Milwaukee, I lived under the impression that every place on Earth had at least three taverns on every block. These shot-and-a-beer watering holes were only distinguishable from the neighborhood homes by a giant lighted sign hanging from the corner of the building, announcing proudly the proprietor’s name as well as the term “bar,” or “tap” or “tavern” or some such euphemism for “beer pumping station.” We moved to the South Side of the city when I was 4 years old and as we wove from the streets of Cudahy through St. Francis to Bay View, I calculated … Continue reading The Legend of Izzy’s

In Domestic Violence, the Pictures Pack the Most Powerful Punch

Posting this for Doc, who’s having some kind of technological disagreement with the WordPress hamsters at the moment. I can’t recall any other time in my life where I wanted to take a 24-year-old, heavily tattooed porn star into my arms and hug her tightly, telling her, “I’m so, so sorry for you. I wish there was something I could do to make it all go away.” This month’s “Real Sports” on HBO features a segment on Christy Mack, an adult-film actress who dated Mixed Martial Arts fighter War Machine up until an assault almost killed her. (Side note: “Real … Continue reading In Domestic Violence, the Pictures Pack the Most Powerful Punch

An open letter to Scott Walker

Dear Governor Walker, Congratulations on finally declaring your candidacy for president, which was perhaps the world’s worst kept secret. It’s been pretty clear that, unless you had plans to complete a hostile takeover of Des Moines, you were spending a lot of time in Iowa to start the process of becoming “The Most Powerful Man In The World.” It’s also pretty clear that this is the start of your breakup with the state of Wisconsin. As Dan Bice’s recent story noted, you’re probably on your path to Palin-dom as a political outsider/defender of the faith for Fox News or the … Continue reading An open letter to Scott Walker

Open Records Law Under Attack for Some Utterly Known Reason

“In recognition of the fact that a representative government is dependent upon an informed electorate, it is declared to be the public policy of this state that all persons are entitled to the greatest possible information regarding the affairs of government and the official acts of those officers and employees who represent them. Further, providing persons with such information is declared to be an essential function of a representative government and an integral part of the routine duties of officers and employees whose responsibility it is to provide such information. To that end, ss. 19.32 to 19.37 shall be construed … Continue reading Open Records Law Under Attack for Some Utterly Known Reason

Happy

Never kept a dollar past sunset It always burned a hole in my pants Never went to school, but I’m happy Never blew a second chance -“Happy” Rolling Stones On a nearly perfect June evening, Mom and I braved the most ridiculous traffic jam this side of New York City to squeeze into the Summerfest grounds and witness four men with a collective age of more than 280 years ply their trade. The Rolling Stones had included Milwaukee as one of their stops along the 15-city “Zip Code” Tour the band crafted in honor of the re-release of the 1971 … Continue reading Happy

Raging at Emptiness.

Floyd Matson and Ashley Montagu wrote the book “The Dehumanization of Man” back in the early 1980s, attempting to explain the way in which narcissism and lack of social awareness were deadly in ways that we could never see coming. Anyone who has spent a minute in a debate tournament over the past three decades has been subjected to the “Dehum Card” that calls dehumanization the “Fifth Horseman of the apocalypse.” However, a deeper read of the book reveals many other subtle explanations that have long gone ignored, including the analysis of the “common man” they refer to as “Edmund.” … Continue reading Raging at Emptiness.

Fear Sucks

After last week, I figured I was done. I got a great amount of support and I appreciated it. I also got a “PLEEEZ DON’T GO!” text from A, so I told her I’d be back this week. It’s hard to fathom, but I figured, “Hey, I have an idea: Play it safe.” With the Cavs depleted, undermanned and outmatched, it was a perfect time for the “I got my LeBron back” column, explaining that this was the guy I loved. He took a rag-tag bunch with no hope and fought valiantly in the face of overwhelming odds and still … Continue reading Fear Sucks

Understanding Tenure

This might be the last post I’m able to accomplish for quite some time. I’m not sure what the future holds, now that the UW Regents brought to you by Carl’s Jr…. er… Scott Walker have failed to fight back against the plan to eliminate the state statute that protects professorial tenure. Those who have supported this move in the statehouse, especially Alberta Darling, whose name is an anagram for “Blaring Alert Ad,” have said this isn’t the elimination of tenure. Instead, it’s simply moving it from the state law to the regents’ control, so it’s the same basic thing. … Continue reading Understanding Tenure

An educational “outing” for the Republicans in the State of Wisconsin

It’s tough living with a secret that could force people to look at you in a different way. Friends and colleagues give you that “I thought I KNEW YOU!” look as they ponder their new reality. Some will denounce you for being that which you vehemently opposed. Others will quickly scramble to defend you with false-front excuses or seek to help you find a way to “repent for your sin.” Knowing all of this, many people with these deep secrets do their best to keep them quiet or disclose them only in passing to a few trusted members of an … Continue reading An educational “outing” for the Republicans in the State of Wisconsin

Don’t “sexually charge” your interns: Missouri Statehouse Edition

(Ed. Note: I prefer to go with the simpler “Don’t Fuck Your Interns” mantra, but as it is not yet clear if there was “old-man-on-top, get-it-over-with-quick-before-my-wife-gets-here” actions, I will stick with the term “sexually charged” for references to this debacle. I will do this even though it sounds like John Diehl got caught with his dick in an electrical outlet. — Doc.) Don’t get all “sexually charged” with your interns. I think I’ve said some version of this about 1,002 times on this blog alone, but apparently John Diehl wasn’t reading us. The Missouri Speaker of the House stepped down … Continue reading Don’t “sexually charge” your interns: Missouri Statehouse Edition

In response to anti-gay bullying awareness, teens enact anti-gay bullying

Bill Maher once noted of young conservatives that it’s totally understandable that they’re assholes at the age of 14: They’re too young for sex and too old to carry a blankie around everywhere, so it’s a very stressful time. If that’s the case, I’m calling for the school administrators at McGuffey High School in Claysville, Pennsylvania to start giving out Woobies or hookers in the next two days. News reports have more than 100 students at the school taking part in a protest against the Gay-Straight Alliance club’s Day of Silence by hosting an “Anti-Gay Day.” The anti-gay crew drew … Continue reading In response to anti-gay bullying awareness, teens enact anti-gay bullying

Internet to Grieving Family: Your fucking 2-year-old started this…

I still remember the name and cause of death of every dead kid I ever covered as a reporter. It’s not a small list, either. There was the 4-year-old AIDS victim, the 17-year-old drunk driver, the 12-year-old who was playing with a gun… The list goes on from there in a brutal recounting of wounds that never healed. The only saving grace in any of these stories was that it always seemed like there was a communal moment of sadness for these families and their loss. In the wake of this crippling pain was a small halo of sympathy before … Continue reading Internet to Grieving Family: Your fucking 2-year-old started this…

The Summers of Sam

It’s interesting for me to reflect today on the death of Sam Kinison. He met his maker 24 years ago today when a 17-year-old drunk driver crossed the centerline of Route 95 near Needles, California and smashed head-on into Kinison and his new wife. Kinison’s supposed final words were: “Why now? I don’t want to die. Why?” I was the age of that drunk driver at the time he killed the man Rodney Dangerfield called a comedic genius. I am now older than Kinison was when he expired on that deserted stretch of road. Somewhere in between, I went from … Continue reading The Summers of Sam