FromAlbum4 So, Rush’s version of sour grapes centers on french fries. Who would’ve thought? Continue reading Frybaby

FromAlbum4 Shorter Brion McClanahan (Warning, Daily Caller link): You can exchange your clean urine for Victory Cheese as soon as we remove the transvaginal probe…you slut. In a comment a week or so ago, I said you can have a government that does things for you, or a government that does things TO you. I think we know where Brion stands. That said, maybe the surest way to not go down that path is…tell Brion to work out somereal numbers and put forth an actual plan. I bet he’s far too lazy. Continue reading The Dispensing of “Limited Government”

FromAlbum4 Another Republiclown debate last night, they say the last one this cycle. God, what a ‘choice.’ Batchelor Number One — Boring! Batchelor Number Two — Cheating! Batchelor Number Three — Methuselah! And Batchelor Number Four —Santorum. Like Burl Ives in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, I couldn’t watch. Cover my eyes with an umbrella and, “Ohhh, tell me when it’s over.” Continue reading What The Dating Game in Hell Must Look Like

FromAlbum4 According to Sioux City bishop Walker Nickless — hey, shouldn’t his last name begin with a D instead of an N? — anyway, according to him, the local pharmacist… Continue reading Who Would Jesus Shoot?

FromAlbum4 Louie Gohmert hears his own private call of the wild, and in doing so, tries to make the case for being the dimmest bulb in all of Congress…no mean feat. Molly Ivins once said being literate in East Texas was like being bilingual elsewhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if she meant someone like Louie. Continue reading CaribouBarbie Cupid

FromAlbum4 While we don’t know exactly, I think it might have been something like a never ending cycle of a grim, despondent, headlong rush over a cliff and into the quarry, with no happy ending or any dawning awareness of the main character. Or, as Mitt says, a preparation. Which, come to think of it, isn’t such an awful ending after all. Barack Obama might be merely the lesser of two, or in this case, three evils, but Mitt and Newt are…EVIL. Evil with a Walter White/Heisenberg meth level of purity. Title inspired by the classic sketchMr. Mike Meets Uncle … Continue reading If Mr. Mike Wrote “Groundhog Day”

FromAlbum4 I realize “Low-Double-Digit-IQ-and-Oklahoma-State-Senator” isn’t exactly news, but this, no pun intended, truly takes the cake: Oklahoma GOP State Senator Ralph Shortey is on a mission to finally put an end to his state’s allegedly rampant cannibalism problem. Alarmed after his own research, which consisted of reading a nameless report stating that companies have used stem cells in the production of food, Shortey introduced a bill that would prohibit the manufacturing and sale of food “which contains aborted human fetuses.” Chicken embryos, though, are on their own… Continue reading Makes Me Wonder More ‘What’s in the Water?’ There

FromAlbum4 And, the beatings will continue until morality improves. I’m probably not the only one who feeling a little embarrassed if not appalled at not having paid much attention to the SOPA and PIPA bills they were and maybe still are trying to ram through Congress. For shame, Christopher Dodd. And while I’m not an expert, I do work in IT, and when readingthis I realized: what a sham. Using DNS as an enforcement mechanism is…TERRIBLE from a technical standpoint alone, and terrible worthy of all caps. What the hell are they thinking? Sometimes I forget how much of a … Continue reading The Post-SOPA/PIPA Internet

FromAlbum4 According tothis list, the traditional gift is tin… More seriously, what an utternightmare and national embarrassment. Continue reading Happy 10th Anniversary, Guantanamo Prison!

FromAlbum4 Newt insists he will NOT be ignored, but it’s not clear if it’s stewed pet rabbit time for Mitt or just an old man yelling at clouds while spitting in the tapioca pudding… Continue reading You’re a Mean One, Mr. Gingrinch [sic]

FromAlbum4 So, in Governor Dudley Goodhair’s world, Solynda [sic] is a country, butCanada isn’t. Continue reading Eh??

FromAlbum4 Police sought to justify their action, insisting the suspect, a dirty, smelly hippie who wears retro Austin Powers-style felt clothing, uses several aliases (St. Nick, S. Claus, K. Kringle), and who gained entry to the residence via an open heating duct, was probably on drugs…claims some sort of bizarre contraption involving a sleigh and flying reindeer provided roof access. Suspect furthermore expected free food and drink in exchange for a collectivist, socialist-style scheme of toy distribution to children who in exchange didn’t even have to mop the floors or clean the bathrooms, thus fostering an attitude of entitlement based … Continue reading Ho, Ho…OH

FromAlbum4 In fact, there are prisons. With Newt advocating the repeal of child labor legislation, Think Progress notes another fine example of Dickensian justice, or, as the wingnuts call it, The Good Old Days. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if in their headlong rush to bring back the Dark Ages, they demanded a return to theTyburn Tree or thegibbet…though I’m sure one or more of them would whine about how it doesn’t make the condemned “suffer enough.” Continue reading Are There No Prisons?

FromAlbum4 Sure, eventually they walked it back, butc’mon. What’s next? The old cliche I first heard used by El Salvador’s infamous sadist/torturerRoberto D’Aubuisson about the Christian Democrats applied to Kermit? “Green on the Outside, Red on the Inside.” Christ. Continue reading “That’s The Way Your Hard-Core Commie Works”

FromAlbum4 Once again one of our corporate overlords shows that his steeley, manly Galtain exteriorisn’t even facade deep, and underneath he’s just the most delicate of fair (if dead) flowers . Well, bless his little three-sizes-too-small-heart, especially given Mr. Cooperman hasn’t exactly cried out for fairness, decency, and civility following a generation of librul/left-smearing nicely summarized by theconcluding paragraph/update to this post, or, to cite a more contemporary reference, the fact that hundreds if not thousands of people in recent weeks have been insulted, beaten, maced, pepper sprayed and worse for the crime of peaceably assembling to demand a future … Continue reading Days of Whine and Roses

FromAlbum4 Well, I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving, except for maybeOfficer Pike, Chancellor Katehi, and everyone else who took on the role of vicious goon at UC Davis, and other OWS demonstrationsaround the country. Cheers. Continue reading Campus Cops do the Darndest Things

FromAlbum4 If law enforcement devoted evenhalf the effort to fight financial fraud and other white collar crime that they dotrying to stomp out the Occupy Movement… Continue reading Just Saying

FromAlbum4 “Gimme More.” Because for just a few dollars a day — up to $2500 for individuals, $5000 for couples…and no limits for corporations and superpacs — you can help Joe Walsh retain his seat…and with $150K in salary and per diems, maybe he’ll be able toafford a muffin, a cinnabon, or just a plate of freedom fries with ketchup…especially since he stiffs his ex and kids on support payments. Call now. For Joe’s sake. Continue reading Feed theChildren Congresscritter

FromAlbum4 So, RickI’m-Just-Wild–No Really: WILD–About-Syrup Perry and Herman “Foxes” Cain went frombrotherly love tosibling rivalry in just a couple of weeks (according to the Cain campaign. I still think it was Karl Rove who exposed Herm’s wild side.) Meanwhile, the presumed beneficiary — Romney — still reminds me of a creepier version of Bob Dobbs fromThe Church of the Subgenius. Maybe Mitt’s finally caught a bit of slack. Continue reading Two Wild and Crazy Guys

FromAlbum4 Then he whined. Thenhe pouted. And then he threw atemper tantrum. But Eddie is…a “serious” Republican, at least in the eyes of the press. Go figure. Continue reading Eddie Munster Shrugged

FromAlbum4 …if your definition of “nicest” are people who think the answer towhat else floats besides wood is “very small rocks.” I’m sure you’ve seen this week’s version ofCan a GOP Debate Audience Be Even More Callous?, the assembled crowd loudly agreeing with Herman Cain that the poor and unemployed have only themselves to blame in an ailing economy with official 9 percent unemployment. How Christian of them. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if a wingnut audience cheered on the first candidate to endorse kicking puppies. Really, really hard. Continue reading You Meet the Nicest PeopleOn a Honda at a GOP Debate

FromAlbum4 “Rarely is the question asked: Isour children the governor of Texas learning.” Evidently not. You know you’re in trouble whenthe bad lip reading version is an improvement. Continue reading Aggie Rhodes Scholar

FromAlbum4 I think it wasCatherine Murdock, in the Ken BurnsProhibition series, who noted that the source of the Temperance movement’s strength was also the root of it’s ultimate defeat. I forget the exact quote, but it was something like ‘stubborn, intransigent, refus[ing] to compromise.’ Sound familiar? So, maybe some small cause for hope in looking back at this previous era of the culture war. However, “victory” only came after more than a dozen years that wreaked havok in all sorts of ways…and this was only about booze. This generation of morality police are trying to stomp on civil rights, women’s … Continue reading Plus Ça Change…

FromAlbum4 I remember in the early 1980s my very conservative dad telling me, in a mildly incredulous tone, that one of his co-workers thought lethal injection was a bad idea because it “didn’t make the criminal suffer enough.” Must be the same sort of mentality thatthrows a tantrum over last meals of the condemned. Last week the state of Texas said it would no longer let condemned prisoners order practically anything they want for their last meals before execution. Aswe reported, “the huge meal that white supremacist Lawrence Russell Brewer ordered and then left untouched before his execution … convinced … Continue reading Food to Die For

FromAlbum4 Christ on a cracker. About one in five Americans combine a view of God as actively engaged in daily workings of the world with an economic conservative view that opposes government regulation and champions the free market as a matter of faith. “They say the invisible hand of the free market is really God at work,” says sociologist Paul Froese, co-author of the Baylor Religion Survey, released today by Baylor University in Waco, Texas. I’m not naïve. Christianity has never been as pure as the driven snow; but I try respect those who genuinely make religion a guide for … Continue reading Gordon Jesus Gekko

FromAlbum3 Andthus ends the Lieberman era, not with a bang, but an extended, two year, droopy whimper. I’m embarrassed to admit that, all those years ago, after voting for the first time in Wisconsin at the fire station on Willy St., then gloomily reading the next day’s newspaper (ooooh — pre-internet even)…I took small solace in seeing something about the Dems picking up a seat in Connecticut. I didn’t realize at the time it was Joe knocking offLowell Weicker … well, live and learn. Anyway, good riddance…some credit for working to repeal DADT, though that’s heavily offset by Joe’s ADAMENT … Continue reading Don’t Let the Door Hit You, Joe

FromAlbum3 Well, go-ol-ly! Louie Gohmert wants to pack heat on the House floor. Maybe he can get some etiquette tips from theghost of this guy. Continue reading In Other News…

FromAlbum3 FromDriftglass, thislink is, well, comprehensive,to be sure. And imagine the sort of shitstorm if even a SINGLE item was from the Obama administration or a prominent Democrat. Oh, and the storm wouldn’t be limited to Faux — even your “librul” media would feel obligated to pile on, and perhaps deservedly so. But…IOKIYAR. Not only that, but the sheer volume of lying and bullshit means that often enough, we don’t even hear about it. Geez. Continue reading Down the Fox “News” Memory Hole

FromAlbum3 That there was acinéma vérité element to those talking baby ads…? Maybe Gerber can come out with a new product line — strained w[h]ine and cheese. Matt Taibbi had more on Countdown last night. Continue reading Who Knew…

FromAlbum3 No prisoners will be taken in the War on Christmas…but Wikileaks is aware of some sort of list. More seriously, regardless of what you call it — Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, rite of Dinoysus, Saturnalia, here’s hoping your Winter Solstice is full of cheer. Also, I’d like to say thanks to Athenae and everyone else at First Draft for allowing me to contribute to the effort, and thanks to everyone who reads and/or comments. Again, cheers! Continue reading Happy Holidays!