Ho, Ho…OH


Police sought to justify their action, insisting the suspect, a dirty, smelly hippie who wears retro Austin Powers-style felt clothing, uses several aliases (St. Nick, S. Claus, K. Kringle), and who gained entry to the residence via an open heating duct, was probably on drugs…claims some sort of bizarre contraption involving a sleigh and flying reindeer provided roof access.

Suspect furthermore expected free food and drink in exchange for a collectivist, socialist-style scheme of toy distribution to children who in exchange didn’t even have to mop the floors or clean the bathrooms, thus fostering an attitude of entitlement based on good behavior alone. Suspect claimed to be part of “the 99 percent,” but lacked documentation/proof of citizenship and/or legal status.

More seriously, have a Happy Holiday Season — hopefully happier than Santa here…

8 thoughts on “Ho, Ho…OH

  1. Tom Allen says:

    Is this the secret Santa thread? Anyway, I got a $25 Amazon gift card from “Muthafuckin’ Kris Kringle” (how appropriate, at least for a naughty boy like me; but I like it that way) which turned out to be exactly what I needed to finish my last minute shopping for my family & friends. Among everything else (huge family) I ordered three gifts for two people (“Phineas & Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension”, “Thirteenth Night (Fools’ Guild Mysteries)”, and “Phineas & Ferb: Very Perry Christmas”) and will keep whichever one isn’t needed, since I love them all. πŸ™‚
    Ho ho hope you’re all having a halfway decent ho ho holiday season too. Poor Officer Pike is getting coal this year. πŸ™ Don’t worry about Santa, though — I’m sure he has a trick or two up his ample sleeves. πŸ˜›

  2. MichaelF says:

    I don’t think this is the ‘official’ Santa thread, but I’d like to thank Nancy for the gift card. Happy solstice, and, as it said in one of Scout’s recent pictures, Heathens Greetings!

  3. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    Uh oh, *someone* with an itchy pepper-spray trigger finger is going to get a stocking full of reindeer poop.

  4. I’m using the hell out of Heathens Greetings. And you’re very welcome!

  5. MapleStreet says:

    In my state, like many others, if someone is in your house without your permission, shoot to kill is perfectly acceptable.
    However, as I’m interested in Finland, I would welcome this icon of Finnish Christmas, Joulupukki who lives at Korvatunturi (Not the north pole, but a mountain in Finland). So as long as he speaks Finnish, no problem.

  6. MapleStreet says:

    Sorry, the /snark didn’t come through. Unfortunately, if you read the comments section on the local TV news station, there are many here who would, in all seriousness, say the first sentence of the above.
    And if you want more info on the Finnish Santa, there is a movie Joulutarina (English version – Christmas Story – but nothing to do with a Red Ryder BB and Peter Billingsley. On Amazon there are so many movies with the same name, searching for Joulutarina will take you right to it. Cover of the DVD has a kid standing on a frozen lake and his reflection in the ice is a traditional Santa.)

  7. thebewilderness says:

    “Santa Claws wears a red suit! Must be a Communist!” Arlo Guthrie.

  8. pansypoo says:

    santta is clearly a socialist. toys for kids being just good and not rich?

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: