Palmetto State putz Lindsey Graham died Saturday at the age of 71. He was simultaneously significant and insignificant. He was significant because he was chairman of the budget committee and past chair of the judiciary committee where he pitched hissy fits during the Kavanaugh and KBJ confirmation hearings. He was insignificant because he was one of Donald Trump’s lackeys, flunkies, and sycophants. Hence the post title: Mooks like Graham don’t merit an RIP post or even a RIH (rot in hell) send-off. He was just one of many lackeys under this president’s thumb.

Graham first came to my attention as a congressman during the Clinton impeachment. He acted as one of the impeachment managers and came across as more thoughtful and temperate than the rest. That star turn led to his election to the United States Senate in 2002.

Graham began his senate life as a work horse, not a show horse. He was taken seriously until his failed run for the presidency against fellow Trump lackey Marco Rubio and the Insult Comedian himself. Trump doxed Lindsey by giving out his cell phone number. For the forgetful out there, I am not making this up.

Like Trump, Lindsey Graham was a weak man who feigned strength. In a 2020 post, I called him The Incredible Mr. Lindsey because he reminded me of a pilot fish and Don Knotts:

That’s why I used the poster for the 1964 Don Knotts flick The Incredible Mr. Limpet as the featured image. In his Sixties heyday, Knotts’ persona was that of a nebbish who thought he was a tough guy. That’s Lindsey Graham in a wingnut shell.

 

When Don Knotts played Deputy Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show, kindly Sherriff Andy wouldn’t let him load his gun. I suspect kindly Senator Walnuts didn’t let Lindsey put bullets in his gun either. But President* Pennywise is a reckless predator who allows pilot fish Lindsey to load his gun. That’s the Trump-Graham relationship in a wingnut shell.”

Graham achieved political fame as John McCain’s wingman. They traveled the globe together advocating hawkish policies here, there, and everywhere. McCain was a nice guy, so he treated Little Lindsey like a sidekick, not a lackey but everyone knew who was Batman and who was Robin.

People were shocked when Graham first cozied up to the Kaiser of Chaos. Trump had dissed John McCain during the 2016 campaign and remained hostile to the GOP’s 2008 nominee until his death. I was not shocked by Graham’s betrayal of his BFF. I knew that Little Lindsey was a weak man in search of power, so he attached himself to Trump as he had to McCain. Golf, not warmongering, was what bonded the two creeps. The warmongering came later. Lindsey Graham never met a war he didn’t like.

I have Shakespeare on my mind as I write whatever the hell this is. I’m channeling and paraphrasing Marc Antony in Julius Caesar: “I come to bury Lindsey, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Lindsey.”

The good Lindsey Graham was interred with John McCain. The evil resides in the White House where the man who this lackey enabled steals the country blind and plays at dictatorship. Thanks for nothing, Senator.

The last word goes to Patrick Davis: