Pulp Fiction Thursday: Spider Girl

There have been reports of spiders living in trees along Bayou St. John in New Orleans. That, in turn, gave me a pretext to publish another sideshow banner.

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The Adrastos Wayback Machine

The Chris Rose profile has come under a lot of fire since it was posted and I agree with much of the criticism. He’s mighty blase about not delivering on any of his Kickstarter promises. He raised $57K and people are vexed with him to say the least.

The best thing that’s come out of the epic La Vie En Chris Rose discussion is that it inspired me to get my original blog off the hard drive and back online. The Rose article was just the first of a wave of 10 year Katrina/Federal Flood remembrances and I want my deceased blog-city joint to be part of the discussion.

It’s a slow, arduous process to import the blog to Blogspot. Yeah, I’m being cheap, it’s going to be an archive, my top blogging priority remains First Draft. So, I don’t want to pay for it since it’s going to be a record and not an active site. I now understand why it’s been such an ordeal for Athenae and Mr. A to move First Draft from Typepad to WordPress. The interweb can be a cruel mistress.

The first 3 graphs have been a roundabout way to say that I’m starting a new feature here. As you all know, I love new features like a Bavarian loves beer or a Texan loves bullshit. I’ll be posting some vintage Adrastos; most of it dealing with what happened in New Orleans in the first three or four years after the thing. Much more after the break.

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Album Cover Art Wednesday: The Great Ball Of Fire

Jerry Lee Lewis is one of the great monsters in American cultural history. At the risk of repeating myself, check out Rick Bragg’s new book about the Killer. It’s amazeballs. Jerry Lee has finally found the perfect writer to tell his story with all of its contradictions. And Rick does not smooth over the Killer’s rough edges. Ain’t enough literary sandpaper in the world for that, y’all.

Jerry Lee was never much of an album artist, his attention span was too short for that,  so I thought I’d post the cover of this 1957 EP:

JERRY LEE LEWIS USA..1957 Sun..EPA-107

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The Facts Don’t Matter if You’re Liberal, Guys!

WIN THE MORNING: 

The journalists who raised the red flags on O’Reilly’s statements — David Corn and Daniel Schulman, of Mother Jones — started at a disadvantage. These weren’t war veterans who felt wronged by O’Reilly’s portrayal of events. They were liberal reporters at an admittedly liberal magazine going after the paragon of right-wing punditry. No matter what goods they had on O’Reilly, it would be easy for him to dismiss these detractors as left-wing zealots bent on his destruction (which he did.)

Yeah! They’re liberals at a liberal magazine with liberal leanings and liberal tendencies and they probably smoke liberal weed and have liberal gay sex or something. So what if they were RIGHT? I mean, they’re able to be dismissed, Politico tells us, and who are we to argue with who Politico tells us is dismissable? They’re the number one authority on dismissability!

Instead, the debate has shifted to whether or not O’Reilly was actually in “a war zone” or a “combat situation,” as he has repeatedly claimed. Well, no, he wasn’t. He was present at a violent protest — or “a riot,” or “a demonstration” — that took place immediately after the conclusion of the war. This is a major embellishment, defensible only under the most forgiving parameters of what constitutes wartime activity. Whatever the case, an embellishment is not going to lead Roger Ailes to fire his most valuable personnel asset.

Not with the “objective” political press giving him a pass, after all! I mean, O’Reilly has value! We know this because Politico told us so! The very same brain trust that brought us “George W. Bush gets a do-over for Katrina” and “the media is too sympathetic to Ferguson protesters!”

There is one detail in Mother Jones’ account that is rather damning: In his book, O’Reilly writes that “many were killed” during the riot. The CBS News report from the riot does not mention any deaths. The former CBS News staffers who spoke with CNN over the weekend likewise claimed that no one died during the riots. “There were certainly no dead people,” Jim Forrest, a sound engineer for CBS in Buenos Aires, told CNN’s Brian Stelter. “Had there been dead people, they would have sent more camera crews.” Manny Alvarez, a cameraman called the claims of deaths “outrageous,” and added: “People being mowed down? Where was that? That would have been great footage. That would have turned into the story.”

So they were right about something important? I thought they were liberal dismissables who didn’t really have a case? This changes everything!

The trouble is, it’s probably too late for that to matter.

Why? Why is it too late for that to matter? Because the media, of which Dylan Byers is absolutely not a part, says it’s too late, which means there’s nothing anyone can do. We are all powerless in the face of Politico’s pronouncements. And besides, liberal liberal liberal liberal.

Dismissed!

A.

Child Predators are Notorious for Obeying the Rules

I do not get this fear: 

For the past year, Houston has been embroiled in a debate over the ordinance. HERO, which passed in May, bans discrimination on the basis of characteristics like sex, race, disability status, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

Opponents of HERO have since fought to put the measure up for a public repeal vote, baselessly claiming that the law would allow male sexual predators to sneak into women’s restrooms by pretending to be transgender. Experts in states and cities that have similar laws on the books have debunked this horror story, calling it “beyond specious.”

This idea that there are rafts of sexual predators out there whose one adherence to social convention was that they obeyed the signs on the bathroom doors is the most ridiculous thing in the world. “Yeah, I rape 7-year-olds, but I would NEVER go into a bathroom that deviated from my birth gender unless Houston passes a law that says I could!” They’ve been hanging out, these perverts, just WAITING for this law to pass, and now it’s a free for all.

A.

Call Any Vegetable

I’m not sure whether Pat Robertson is descending into senility or if he’s becoming an absurdist comedian. In either case, bless his heart:

 Televangelist Pat Robertson said on Monday that marijuana users and drinkers are “enslaved to vegetables.”

Speaking on his Christian Broadcasting Network television show “The 700 Club,” Robertson said that addiction is contrary to God’s will, because man has dominion over “all the vegetables.”

Robertson continued: “Cocaine is the product of a vegetable, alcohol is the product of a vegetable, marijuana is a vegetable. And yet, people are enslaved to vegetables.”

“Why would you become a slave to a vegetable?” Robertson said. “Why? Why would you do it?”

Beats the hell outta me, Pat. I have no desire to be squashed by a zucchini or in butternut squash bondage. He’s starting to sound like Tom Stoppard’s take on Tristan Tzara in the great play Travesties: his art belongs to Dada. In Pat’s case, to the great dada in the sky, you know Jesus’ dada.

Pat’s latest trip to the weird side gave me this post title and a meaty, beaty, big and bouncy earworm. (Sorry for the Who reference, I couldn’t help myself.) It also reminds me of a vegetable related Captain Beefheart story. Humor me, please. I saw Beefheart and the Magic Band open for Zappa right after the latter had a semi-hit album with Apostrophe. It wasn’t the usual Zappa crowd, it was sprinkled with people who thought Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow was the cat’s ass. Beefheart finally got pissed off by the talkative yahoos in the audience and said, “Playing to you people is like trying to turn pickles back into cucumbers”

That’s my vegetable story, y’all. Call any vegetable, call it by name. Ladies and germs give it up for Frank Zappa and the Mothers:

The Talk Of The Town

Remember Chris Rose who was a Pulitzer Prize finalist for his personalized reporting on Katrina and the Federal Flood? His decline and fall is the subject of a very fine profile  in the Columbia Journalism Review by Michael Patrick Welch. It’s a poignant piece but also illustrates Rose’s self-absorption, which part of the reason for his downfall. He’s a very talented writer whose other main talent is bridge burning. I know that sounds harsh but my encounters with the man were quite unpleasant. I’ll leave it at that. I don’t believe in kicking a man when he’s down even if he is his own worst enemy.

The epic discussion we’ve been having on NOLA Twitter reminded me of Jeffrey’s classic 2006 takedown of Rose when he was on top, and the latter’s belated response and admission that he’d snubbed my main man Ashley Morris. It just struck me that Ashley has been dead for nearly 7 years. 7 fucking years.

Chris Rose has gone from the toast of the town to the talk of the town, so I’ll give the Pretenders the last word:

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – Incest and peppermints edition

Good Monday morning, all – I have to admit – I’ve been a little afraid to open up this particular double-sealed drum of Freepitude, but here goes…

Valentine’s Day: Did any FReepers enjoy time with their Daughters today?
Feb. 14, 2015 | Vanity

Posted on 2‎/‎14‎/‎2015‎ ‎11‎:‎28‎:‎00‎ ‎PM by PROCON

I didn’t see any FReeper Valentine’s day stories, which usually means hanging out with your significant other (ie. Honey).

Anyone here hang out with their lovely daughters today?

Eww

 

I’m a divorced man with two grown children.Today, I travelled 2 1/2 hours from Eastern Washington to Seattle to hang out with my grown daughter.She is a professional and a college graduate who is living the big life in the big city.I don’t see her often anymore, but today I arrived at her place late morning bearing purple carnations (her favorite color), a Starbucks gift card, (Hey, this is Seattle, and she loves coffee like Dad).We went out to brunch, (Dad treated of course), we stopped and got some more coffee on our way back to her place.And then I did some Dad projects for her in her apartment.We laughed, cried and discussed old times, we had a great time.And then I drove home thinking, just, damn, they grow up so quickly. I love her so much.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

1 posted on 2‎/‎14‎/‎2015‎ ‎11‎:‎28‎:‎00‎ ‎PM by PROCON
CantEvenLittleTrain

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To: PROCON; Mears

My 16 yr old daughter we adopted from China when less than 2. Walking hand in hand along the bay under a beautiful sunset here in Hawaii. How swift like the wind is the time; how precious like all the world’s jewels & gold is a daughter!

5 posted on ‎2‎/‎14‎/‎2015‎ ‎11‎:‎39‎:‎42‎ ‎PM by jobim (.)

I had no idea that Woody Allen had a Free Republic account.
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Well, at least it couldn’t get any creepier.
To: PROCON
I went to a daddy, daughter dance last night (Friday) with my 10 yr old grand daughter … I hat a date with a cute little blond.

PurityBall10yo

Folks … I had a good (enough) time, but I tell ya’ …

The dance was put on by the school and the teachers were leaders in those line dances (which I don’t do, and thankfully, neither does my GD … and the music was almost all THUMP, THUMP, THUMP crap

I had to request Joe Cocker .. You Are So Beautiful .. so I could embarrass her on the floor and actually sing to her

The daddys were all standing around embarrassed or something (I guesstimate maybe a hundred “couples” (the entire elementary schoo was invited) so that’s a lot of guys not knowing what to do during the thump, thump, thump

EwwKitteh

Total slow songs … 4 … in a two hour period

Incest

I’m a school board firector (sic)

ChristOnACracker

 

… next meeting Feb 19 … one more apple cart for me to push over

28 posted on ‎2‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎1‎:‎18‎:‎49‎ ‎AM by knarf (I say things that are true … I have no proof … but, they’re true)
OK – so I was wrong.
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To: PROCON

Awwww…. that is so sweet, Procon. I loved your story. For what it is worth.. she will always remember that day! Always. I can only imagine your drive back home was bitter sweet.. enjoying the day but remembering when you danced with her while she stood on your feet. Hugs…

37 posted on 2‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎9‎:‎49‎:‎56‎ ‎AM by momtothree

IncestNudeResort
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To: max americana

Boo Yah!

Morning.

Take her to Lucques in Beverly Hills for brunch/lunch. I recommend the patio and whatever specialty drink they are serving. It’s different every month and better than simple Mimosa.

After you’ve got her liquored up a little, you can make your move.

relaxed atmosphere, just really terrific food with great service.

The wait staff have all the knowledge you require about anything on the menu but, a soft touch about it. They’re not snobs and won’t drone on.

They are also accomodating about special requests.

PurityBallField

Food is wonderful and plated so as to invite the eyes to take it in just before you your mouth savors whatever is delish.

PurityBallShirt

39 posted on ‎2‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎11‎:‎01‎:‎12‎ ‎AMby Vendome (Don’t take life so seriously-you won’t live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
More after I pour bleach over my exposed brain.

 

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Walker: Not Being Mean to Immigrants No Longer an Option

Shorter Scott Walker: I have a primary filled with hate-crazed howler monkeys to win, don’t you know? 

Undocumented immigrants:

Host Chris Wallace said to Walker: “But you said you supported” comprehensive reform.

Walker: “And my view has changed. I’m flat out saying it. I’m — candidates can say that. Sometimes they don’t.”

Wallace: “So, you’ve changed from 2013?”

Walker: “Absolutely. I look at the problems we’ve experienced for the last few years. I’ve talked to governors on the border and others out there. I’ve talked to people all across America.”

“I’ve talked to my potential primary voters, Chris, and I’m sorry but they just won’t countenance a sensible, reasonable way to help anyone, because beating up on poors and browns just feels too fucking good. Build a big fence and put them all behind it, I say. That’s my new position and it’s very well thought-out.”

A.

Home Care Workers on Public Assistance

Disgusting: 

The home care workforce encompasses workers in two main occupations: home health aides and personal care aides. Both assist older adults or people with disabilities at their homes with personal care (assistance with eating, dressing, bathing, and toileting) and household services (meal preparation, shopping, light cleaning, and trans- portation). In some states, home health aides may admin- ister medication or check a client’s vital signs under the direction of a nurse or other healthcare practitioner.

The number of home care jobs in the United States is projected to grow five times faster than jobs in all other occupations. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the country will need one million new home care workers by 2022.1

While demand for home care workers is projected to grow, wages in this sector remain low. In 2013, the country’s two million home care workers had average annual earn- ings of $18,598.2 Average annual earnings for all wage and salary workers in the United States were $46,440.3.

But nobody needs a union, because clearly the market is taking care of everything.

I’ve never understood bitching about the cost to pay people who take care of the elderly, disabled, or even children. As someone paying for childcare right now, yeah, it’s expensive. Is this really an area where you want a bargain? Do you really want to bottom-dollar the lady who helps Grandma get dressed in the morning or the fellow you trust to shop for Dad’s medication?

I don’t want a cheaper person to take care of the people I love, I want the company that pays them to do so decently, or a fraction of the assistance the government gives to, say, a grocery store that wants tax breaks to build somewhere.

A.

Newspapers Don’t Need Help From the Internet to Kill Journalism

If these people worked on mimeograph machines, or their job was just to stand in the town square yelling the news at people, they would still find a way to fuck it up: 

Circulation was falling fast when I joined the paper in September 2010, and I suspect this panicked the owners. Waves of sackings started, and the management made it plain that it believed the future of the British press to be digital. Murdoch MacLennan, the chief executive, invited me to lunch at the Goring Hotel near Buckingham Palace, where Telegraph executives like to do their business. I urged him not to take the newspaper itself for granted, pointing out that it still had a very healthy circulation of more than half a million. I added that our readers were loyal, that the paper was still very profitable and that the owners had no right to destroy it.

The sackings continued. A little while later I met Mr MacLennan by chance in the queue of mourners outside Margaret Thatcher’s funeral and once again urged him not to take Telegraph readers for granted. He replied: “You don’t know what you are fucking talking about.”

For a long time newspaper owners everywhere could get away with anything because look, where else you gonna go, son? They could lie and cheat and steal, and there was enough slush floating around to mask the thievery and incompetence.

Plus let us face it, whatever newspapers were (and are) screwing up, local and national news programs were (and are) so awful that after the in-depth analyses of GOOD MORNING CLEVELAND and its ilk, the worst newspaper jock on his laziest day seemed like a Nobel laureate.

Now, though, there are other ways to get information out. There are other ways to find things and tell everybody. Failure and idiocy are exposed much, much faster than they used to be, and that has not been a boon for those whose stupidity was only tolerable because the profits made it so.

A.

Sunday Morning Video: The Jerry Lee Lewis Story

I’ve been reading Rick Bragg’s great book about the Killer who is 20 different kinds of crazy. I stumbled into this 1990 BBC documentary, which left me, uh, breathless:

Leonard Nimoy, R.I.P.

I grew up on Star Trek and Mr. Spock who was one of the coolest characters ever. I even tried the Vulcan mind probe out on my boyhood pal Andy, but it didn’t work much to my annoyance. In short, I was sad to hear of the death of Leonard Nimoy at the age of 83 today. He was a fine actor and an even better human being.  I’ll leave the live long and prosper comments to others, and won’t go in search of anything in Mr. Nimoy’s honor either. The best tribute I saw all day was this cartoon by Andy Marlette of the Pensacola News-Journal:

B9316403509Z.1_20150227132503_000_GBIA342KN.1-0

 

Angry Pander Bear

One of the highlights of the 1992 election cycle was when Paul Tsongas called Bill Clinton a Pander Bear for obvious reasons. Bill not only felt people’s pain, he borrowed their ideas, policies, you name if, he’d use it. He was to politicians what Milton Berle was to comedians.

The 2016 election cycle seems to be featuring a new variation on this theme: Chris Christie as the Angry Pander Bear. I originally thought Christie might use his Ralph Kramden/Governor Asshole persona to run against the nutty GOP base but those days are long gone. He’s gone from CPAC pariah to favorite:

…Christie pitched himself repeatedly as a man of the people, someone who was willing to stand up for regular folks and fight for them. He turned a question on immigration into an opportunity to praise “hardworking people” struggling in America. In response to a question about Bush’s immigration remarks in which he had praised immigrants for their entrepreneurial character, Christie accused politicians of caring too much about what “they say on the editorial page of the New York Times and Washington Post.”

Free of the burden of being the establishment’s darling, Christie also sought to exorcise his White House ties. Asked about the time he told a constituent to “sit down and shut up,” Christie didn’t shy away, saying some people needed to hear just that advice. When the audience reacted positively, he said the Obama White House needed to hear that order. The audience reacted favorably.

I keep waiting for a Republican to stand up to wingnuts whose idea of principled politics is to hold their breath until they get their way. The Tea Party is a misnomer. The should be called  the Toddler Tantrum party: holding our breath til we turn blue since 2009.

The reason for Gov. Kramden’s switch is that Poppy’s boy, Jeb the acronym, is the favored candidate of white shoe, country club establishment Republicans. Jeb is pretending to take on the extremists in his party but it won’t last. He’s a Bush and they’re experts at pandering: Poppy Bush’s entire career was an exercise in pandering, which was why it was so ironic that he lost to the original Pander Bear. History is unlikely to repeat itself: the Angry Pander Bear is unlikely to beat out Jeb the acronym for the nomination. Me, I still think they’re going to go full tilt bat shit crazy and nominate someone who will  lose every state outside the hardcore hookworm/wingnut belt.

Finally, I’m trying out a nickname for John Ellis Bush. Whaddya think of Jeb the acronym or Acronym Jeb? Not as funny as Willard Mittbot Romney, but no candidate will ever be as funny as Willard. The nation’s gain was satire’s loss.

 

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Friday Ferretblogging

Claire is hibernating until spring.

20150224_190200

A.

Friday Guest Catblogging: Boris

I met Boris on Mardi Gras day and the first thing I learned is that Boris is a she. Boris also came with the house that my friends Holly and Paul bought across the street from Dollar Bill Jefferson. Boris is a remarkably patient and friendly cat: I picked her up on our first meeting and she purred for me. She is also tolerant of humans messing with her as you tell from the King Cake baby on her head in the first picture.

Boris KC baby

Here she is with an Elizabethan collar ruff thing, looking very much like Bette Davis when she played Queen Elizabeth. I suspect she’d rather live with a male cat named Natasha than Errol Flynn but we didn’t go there.

Boris says fuck you

I wrote about shade the other day, here’s Boris wearing shades ala Harry Reid:

Boris shades

Being a Whomaniac, writing this post gave me a predictable yet satisfying earworm:

 

 

 

Malaka Of The Week: Kristi Capel

Some malakatude is venal and some is rooted in cluelessness, stupidity, and ignorance. This week’s honoree seems to fit snugly into the stupid category. That is why Kristi Capel is malaka of the week.

Local teevee anchors aren’t always known for their intelligence, especially morning show people. Kristi Capel of WJW-TV in Cleveland looks good on camera, has a twinkly smile, and a limited vocabulary. You’ve probably heard about her dumbass, racially clueless comments about Lady Gaga on the morning after the Oscars:

The look on co-anchor Wayne Dawson’s face says it all. His raised eyebrow and nervous smile sum up the situation quite nicely. Btw, is it just me or does anyone else think he resembles Duke Ellington? I suspect that Ms. Capel has never taken the A train to Harlem and probably has no idea who Duke Ellington is. Ignorance can kill ya.

Pleading ignorance, Capel has apologized:

“I just want to take a moment to address a comment that I made yesterday that got a lot of attention,” Capel said at 6:45 a.m. Tuesday. “It’s important for me to let you know that I deeply regret my insensitive comment. And I truly did not know the meaning of the word and would never intentionally use such hurtful language.”

<snip>

“I sincerely apologize for using that language and promise to learn from this, and I hope you will give me that chance,” Capel said Tuesday morning.

Her co-anchor showed the class of Duke Ellington and confirmed that her use of an esoteric and venerable racial slur was based on dumbassery instead of willful malakatude. She’s been suspended for 3 days for being as stupid as this:

I realize comparing anyone to Porsha Williams is unkind but that’s what this feature is all about. Besides, I’m going easy on Kristi Capel, I haven’t even called her Crapel until now.

Here’s the real lesson of this sorry episode to people who do live television: NEVER USE A WORD IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.  Ms. Capel failed to check the Urban Dictionary and that is why she’s malaka of the week.

I’ll give Duke Ellington the last word:

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Freaks And Geeks…um…Just Freaks

From Album 5

So the annual spittle-flecked rave (rage?) for the aggressively ignorant begins today…not exactly Three Days of Peace and Music…more like Three Days of Red Meat, Bloody Shirt Waving, and Howling about Victimization…while wingnut welfare expense accounts pick up the tab. Funny how that works.

Anyway, I’m expecting that even Ghouliani’s desperate-cry-for-attention/performance will be outdone before it’s all over, because, like junkies, the rage addicts need ever stronger doses. But…might as well get a laugh watching it all. For victims, they sure do seem…awfully comfortable.

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Murder Wears Mukluks

A friend of mine is taking the train from New Orleans to Newark this week. I suggested that he take all of his warmest winter clothes including mukluks if he had any. That, in turn, made me think of this cover, which features one of the silliest words ever:

10252869

GOP Don’t Care

Neil Heinen, ladies and gentlemen: 

 What is most disturbing is the image…the image of three Republican state legislators being escorted by security past protestors at the State Capitol Tuesday evening. And once again the nation watches news from Wisconsin and wonders what is going on in that state? It’s hard to imagine this is the impression Republicans are hoping will convince people to invest in Wisconsin.

But by once again ram-rodding divisive policy through the legislature and short-circuiting the public-hearing process, lawmakers have created an atmosphere of frustration and anger. Frankly the suggestion that the protests were a public safety risk is offensive. The largest risk is the risk to democracy by limiting the rights of citizens to be heard on laws that affect their lives. But embarrassing images and bad-faith governing are not things that concern this legislature any more.

But they used the words “credible threat!” Just like on CSI or something! It was all terrorist-speak-y!

Honestly, why should they care what they look like? There aren’t any electoral consequences for them. Mr. My New Boyfriend up there aside, most journalists have been treating the debate over the Right to Work (For Less) bill in Wisconsin as OH THIS IS ALL SO BORING DO WE HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT PROTESTS AGAIN?

Witness this, which Jude sends me because he worries my life is too calm and my blood pressure may be too low:

54ecda6a8c80c.image

HARDY HAR HAR NOTHING MATTERS REALLY. Both sides are noisy but it’s all so lamesauce.

The national press is too busy jerking off about Walker 2016 to pay attention to the actual business of governing. So the Wisconsin GOP looks like a bunch of goddamn clowns. Who’s going to impose any kind of consequences for that?

Anyone?

A.

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