Month: December 2009

Adrastos, Political Crack, Stupid Republican Tricks4 Comments

John Cornynitsyn?

Peter Adrastos Athas

As a constituent of Bitter Vitter, I’m always delighted when someone else’s wingnut solon says something stupid. I usually leave the John Cornyn bashing to Virgo Tex but he’s really stepped in it this time bycomparing health care reform to the gulag: It will limit people’s choices to, in many cases, to a government-run program like Medicaid which is essentially a health care gulag, because people will not have any choices but to take that poorly performing government plan. I realize that extreme and OTT rhetoric is in fashion right now but this is a bit much even for a … Continue reading John Cornynitsyn?

Athenae, Stupid Republican Tricks20 Comments

Today on Athenae’s Obsession with Sarah Palin’s Facebook Friends

Tommy may well have decided to vacation somewhere warm, but we got several inches of snow here overnight and so in lieu of going outside to, you know, do things, I’m going to take you all on a journey tothe darkest night of the Internet’s soul: Thank you Governor for being to ONLY one that has the guts to say wht most of the “sheeple” are sayng but only in their closets and don’t dare to say it loud. Loved the book and can’t wait for 2012. — Mrs. Sarah Palin 1. I pray this prayer every day Dear Heavely … Continue reading Today on Athenae’s Obsession with Sarah Palin’s Facebook Friends

Athenae, Food and Drink10 Comments

War on Christmas: Nuclear Cake Option

I’m conducting my own war on Christmas via the Bon Appetit Christmas issue, or holiday issue, or as Mr. A likes to call it, “the dare.” I take the most effed-up looking thing with the most complicated recipe and longest list of ingredients, and I try to make that bitch in my tiny home kitchen with my hand mixer that sounds like a lawn mower and my oven that’s always off by 20 degrees or so and still smells like that one time I set a yam on fire. This afternoon it was theChocolate Peppermint Meringue Cake, which in the … Continue reading War on Christmas: Nuclear Cake Option

Adrastos, LOL4 Comments

A Paultard Christmas

Peter Adrastos Athas

It’s been a bit quiet on the hostiliday front but the warfare usually intensifies on the weekend. The most nauseating video I’ve seen thus far was posted atMinor Wisdom and features two creepy women “singing”Go Tell It On The Mountain. My latest contribution is a real teabagger of a tune from Christmas 2007 from a Pautard with a raspy voice and a passion for freedom, Ron Paul style: Continue reading A Paultard Christmas

Uncategorized4 Comments

To boldly go where hos have gone before

One of my favorite jokes has unfortunately come true in journalism: Two little old ladies are sitting down for tea and talking about their daughters. “My Jeanie has so many nice boyfriends,” the one began. “She’s always out to eat at the nicest restaurants. She gets to see the best shows and attend the nicest concerts. And the men are so generous with their money. They buy her such nice things…” “Yeah,” The second one chimes in. “My daughter’s a whore too…” The folks at the Belo Corporation are implementing “bold strategies” that involve news people reporting to sales people. … Continue reading To boldly go where hos have gone before

Current Affairs, Jude, Sports3 Comments

Tiger Penis Soup

This pretty much sums it up. That’s right. As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, I don’t care about who sticks what where when how or with whom. I’d like to take this moment to say that it’s completely shocking that a young, rich, good-looking, athletic human being would not be totally monogamous.* I’m sure this sort of thing has never happened before, and that’s why there’s all of the coverage. Dear reporters: That’s called sarcasm. There are more important goddamned things in the world than famous winkies. And for anyone who’s upset about this kind of behavior … Continue reading Tiger Penis Soup

Adrastos, Malakatude, Sports21 Comments

Malaka Of The Week: Tim Tebow

Peter Adrastos Athas

This is more of a “lifetime achievement award” than anything else. The Florida Gator QB hasn’t committed any acts of heinous malakatude of late but I may not have him to kick around much longer so I tagged him and he’s it. Besides, the SEC Championship between two of my least favorite SEC football powerhouses, Florida and Alabama is this weekend. Atlanta is about to be invaded by drunken frat boys, douchebags, good ole boys and malakas. Unfortunately for NOLA, the loser is likely to play in the Sugar Bowl so we’ll be putting up with them soon enough. The … Continue reading Malaka Of The Week: Tim Tebow

Athenae, Political Crack6 Comments

Harry, Why is This Guy Still Talking?

Seriously, what a pointless little dickhead: Sen.Ben Nelson told reporters today he will filibuster the health care bill if it doesn’t contain an abortion amendment similar toRep. Bart Stupak’s amendment that passed attached to the House health care bill last month. “I will not vote to take it off the floor,” said Nelson (D-NE). “Now I don’t know that it’s going to come down to that, because I don’t know that Stupak’s not going to pass, number one,” he said. “Number two I don’t know what kind of alternative legislation may be offered as an alternative bill. I don’t know … Continue reading Harry, Why is This Guy Still Talking?

Michael F3 Comments

Stephen Seagal Meets Harry Lee

FromAlbum3 Um, literally. Thanks to I guess a chance encounter some twenty years ago, tv viewers are treated to what’s gotta be one of the weirdest reality shows ever (andthanks to Oyster for reminding me to watch this train/boat wreck of a show.)Stephen Seagal doesn’t just play a sheriff’s deputy on tv, but actually is one for Jefferson Parish, which for non Gret Stet’ers is suburban New Orleans (Metairie, Kenner, the West Bank, etc. — my personal favorite moniker was always “Fat City.” Part bizarro morality play, part “Cops,” part Kung Fu meets Popeye’s Fried Chicken (at least a half … Continue reading Stephen Seagal Meets Harry Lee

Adrastos, British Politics, Political Crack2 Comments

Don’t Get Around Much Any More

Peter Adrastos Athas

Beleaguered British Prime Minister Gordon Brown had another oops moment: Gordon Brown was asked in theHouse of Commons to congratulateReese Witherspoon, who visited Parliament Wednesday in her role as a campaigner againstdomestic violence. Brown replied that he was “grateful that Renee Witherspoon is leading this campaign.” He said the actress had spoken movingly at the funeral ofdirector Anthony Minghella. Renee Zellweger starred in Minghella’s “Cold Mountain” and spoke at hismemorial service last year. Witherspoon is the Academy award-winning star of “Walk the Line” and “Legally Blonde.” Gordon Brown is a good example of how hilarious the humorless can be. I’d … Continue reading Don’t Get Around Much Any More

Books, Economy, Television, VirgoTex24 Comments

Yeah, they said all that about Gutenberg too

Okay, first off, Sherman Alexie has produced some wonderful novels and poetry, a lot of which I’ve enjoyed. So this is not about his talent or his place in the literary canon. In addition, just like the rest of us, he is entitled to his opinions about stuff. So, I got no problem with him having a dog in the fight over technology and digital rights. But goddamn it, he’s been pissing me with his ongoing rants about how e-books and Kindles are going to…going to… well, just wait! They’re going to do a LOT of things, a lot of … Continue reading Yeah, they said all that about Gutenberg too

Athenae, Political Crack5 Comments

He’s Got This

A quick word regarding my Twitter feed, which this morning is full of, “Support the president!” and “fuk u, bufalos” type of back-and-forth:You can follow me there. It’s mostly yammering about the ferrets and what they’re trying to eat today. Also? There is no more imperative to “support the president” with total absence of debate now than there was during the Bush administration. He is not Tinkerbell. He does not need us to clap. If someone says something critical of Obama it is not going to weaken his essence or something. He’s a smart, powerful, pretty self-assured dude with a … Continue reading He’s Got This

Adrastos, Afghanistan, War in Afghanistan11 Comments

Ambivalent

Peter Adrastos Athas

Obama’s speech hasn’t sent me racing to the barricades to either oppose or support his policy. The best thing about the speech was its tone: somber and sober. Nobody does the two S’s as well as the President. The worst thing about the speech was the troop increase: I doubt that it will work. Foreign powers have been trying to secure the rural areas of Afghanistan for centuries and there are always rebels in the mountains shooting at them. It’s a combination of geography and culture: Afghanistan remains a largely illiterate country dominated by tribes and war lords. This is … Continue reading Ambivalent

Athenae, Immoral Values15 Comments

What Was She Thinking?

Advice columns generally are a throwback, but this one throws back to about 1620 or so: Dear Amy: I recently attended a frat party, got drunk and made some bad decisions. I let a guy take me to “his” room because he promised that he wouldn’t do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. Many times, I clearly said I didn’t want to have sex, and he promised to my face that he wouldn’t. Then he quickly proceeded to go against what he “promised.” I was shocked, and maybe being intoxicated made my reaction time a bit slow in realizing what was … Continue reading What Was She Thinking?

Afghanistan, Athenae8 Comments

‘We have no interest in occupying your country’

That’s probably what set the wingnuts off: The people of Afghanistan have endured violence for decades. They have been confronted with occupation – by the Soviet Union, and then by foreign al Qaeda fighters who used Afghan land for their own purposes. So tonight, I want the Afghan people to understand – America seeks an end to this era of war and suffering. We have no interest in occupying your country. We will support efforts by the Afghan government to open the door to those Taliban who abandon violence and respect the human rights of their fellow citizens. And we … Continue reading ‘We have no interest in occupying your country’

Athenae, So Called Liberal Media6 Comments

A Question of Effectiveness

Crack Den: I’m quite happy for newspapers to try to charge readers any way they want. I don’t think “information has to be free” or whatever, I just don’t think most of them are going to have much luck charging. Which, honestly. The problem for me with paying for content online isn’t that it’s a violation of the Internet Belief that All Information is Free either, it’s that someone has yet to come up with a way to pay that isn’t a total pain in the fucking balls. $2.95 per article and you HAVE to give them your credit card, … Continue reading A Question of Effectiveness

Athenae, Economy3 Comments

Reform

Jesus, just go read: You know, I listen to a lot of talk radio and the other places where people are talking healthcare reform a lot of the time these days, and these conversations, quite frankly, tend to be dominated by affluent suburbanites who have decent health coverage — as long as they’re not laid off, anyway — and access to state-of-the-art hospitals in safe communities, people who can’t understand why there is a push for changing things in the country. And there are people likeSen. Jim DeMint of South Carolina who thinks that just showing up at the hospital … Continue reading Reform

Adrastos, R.I.P.4 Comments

Shep Zitler, R.I.P.

Peter Adrastos Athas

Shep Zitler was a very fine man who passed away yesterday in New Orleans at the age of 92. He was the father of my friend and neighbor, Justin Zitler. I didn’t know Shep as well as I would have liked but he was a remarkable man who survived the Holocaust and found the American Dream in New Orleans. When I feel down, I try to think of Shep and others like him who came through the worst with their humanity intact. Shep will be greatly missed by everyone whose lives he touched. I hope that you’ll find his story … Continue reading Shep Zitler, R.I.P.

Stupid Republican Tricks17 Comments

Worst Decade Ever

So I got Time in the mail yesterday. (Stop: before we go any further, I realize that Time still employs Joke Line. I only got it because I was too mushy to tell the adorable clerk at FYE not to sign me up for fourteen thousand not-so-free offers that I’m still paying for.) Anyway, the cover story is about how awful the Aughts or the Naughties or whateverthehell we’re calling it was. I’m a little reluctant to call truly awful solely because it’s the decade in which I got married, and despite the hostilidays video I posted, Mr. BuggyQ is … Continue reading Worst Decade Ever

Adrastos, Sports11 Comments

The Saints Are Still Undefeated? Pinch Me

Peter Adrastos Athas

The NFL franchise that brought you the bag heads is now 11 and 0 after whipping the New England Patriots 38-17. Here are a few random notes and slightly modified reflections first posted at theAdrastos Virtual Cafe: I admit to being gobsmacked that the game was such a rout. I thought the Pats would win. I would still prefer that the Saints lose a regular season game: it’s hard to go 19-0. Just ask Bill Frakking Belichick. Speaking of Bill Frakking Belichick, he’s the Tricky Dick of professional sports down to the scowl and glower. I keep expecting him to … Continue reading The Saints Are Still Undefeated? Pinch Me