Harry, Why is This Guy Still Talking?

Seriously, what a pointless little dickhead:

Sen.Ben Nelson told reporters today he will filibuster the health care bill if it doesn’t contain an abortion amendment similar toRep. Bart Stupak’s amendment that passed attached to the House health care bill last month.

“I will not vote to take it off the floor,” said Nelson (D-NE).

“Now I don’t know that it’s going to come down to that, because I
don’t know that Stupak’s not going to pass, number one,” he said.
“Number two I don’t know what kind of alternative legislation may be
offered as an alternative bill. I don’t know what the next steps are,
but I’ve made it clear that whatever is finally considered has to have
that language in it.”

Well HI THERE DOOFUS, was nobody paying attention to you today? Was that the problem? Everybody’s all over Mary Landrieu and Max Baucus and oh yeah ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE WHO CAN’T SEE DOCTORS. Everybody’s giving all this attention all of a sudden to poor people who are sick, and not to Ben Nelson. Fixed that, didn’t you?

Here’s the thing about how Joe and Jane Voter are watching this. We’re out here, where our emergency rooms are basically the Purgatorio, and we do not understand why this is hard to fix at all. There are a number of models to choose from, any one of which would be infinitely better than the combination crap shoot/pig fuck we all deal with on any given day. In our minds, we pick a solution and we go with it, and it either works or it doesn’t, but the least difficult thing about it is making sure U.S. senators are happy critters.

Inside that bubble, though, the worst thing on the planet is that Ben Nelson and Blanche Lincoln and a bunch of Republicans who are assholes are upset. That’s the hardest thing, getting enough people to agree to pass something that will demonstrably help lots and lots of voters, which voters overwhelmingly want. This is just too hard a task for Harry, because Bitty Baby Ben here isn’t feeling loved, and wants a shiny new convertible or something, and true bipartisanship, and a pony. Seriously, this isn’t a hard task. You need to open his head up, reach down his neck and take out his larynx with an ice cream scoop.

I am not kidding, the dumbest intern on Capitol Hill has a harder job right now than Harry Reid. Just YOU try remembering an entire office’s Starbucks order off the top of your head.


6 thoughts on “Harry, Why is This Guy Still Talking?

  1. If its any consolation, Blanche Lincoln won’t be returning to Washington after the next election. Those conservative Republicans she seems so eager to please are going to throw her ass out.
    Ben Nelson can eat shit and die. And you know what? I’d rather idiots call themselvs Republican than Democrat. Take a hike, Blanche, Ben, Lieberman, and others of your ilk. You do me more damage than Republicans.
    Our President, in his desire to create concensus with a bunch of nihilists, empowered the wrong people in this debate about health care. IF we get anything, it’s going to be a pale, sick version of its healthy self.
    I try not to be pessimistic, but it’s real tough when the Democratic President sells us out or refuses to speak up for GLBT issues. Would we have lost on Prop. 8 in California if he’d spoken up? How about Maine? Would the New York Senate have voted against same-sex marriage if the POTUS had invited a dozen or so of them down to the White House for some arm-twisting? Would the war in Afghanistan be more compatible to my community if he unilaterally eliminated DADT and ordered the military to stop Gay & Lesbian witch hunts? Would it have hurt him not to equate same-sex marriage with beastiality and incest?
    You know what? If this is what “winning” feels like, goddess save me from losing. Sorry for being all over the page with issues and emotions, but I’m not a happy camper tonight. We’re not getting meaningful healthcare reform this year or next, and we are getting steroid injections into a war we cannot win.
    As the kids on South Park say in their cute little Christmas carol, “Merry F*cking Christmas.”

  2. This is the flaw in the 50-state strategy. What does it matter if a politician has a D or an R after their name if they still intend to vote like conservative douchecakes?

  3. If Obama gave a rat’s ass about this bill (which he clearly doesn’t), he’d call Ben and Mary and all the other douchebags and tell them, “Look, I want this passed. If you stop it from passing, I will personally work for whoever challenges you in a primary. And you will be out. Have a nice fucking day.”
    Unfortunately, we have George W Bush with a good tan.

  4. Why are these guys still talking?
    Jane Goodall found that an ape making a lot of noise (rolling 55 gallon drums down a hill) would be rewarded by an elevation in their status in the pack and an ability to keep a higher status.
    My guess is that the Senators haven’t figured out yet that they aren’t at the top of the pack.

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