Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome to the booster, where we understand that sometimes, all you need is balls… – Let’s do some simple math: You’ve got 59 votes out of 100. You need half, plus one, to pass something. In what Bizzaro world does this equal failure? My theory: The Democrats are doing this so that Ted Kennedy will literally crawl out of his grave, slap the piss out of them and then call for a vote. It’s also probable they think Zombie Kennedy could then grab “Mr. June” by the crank, toss him in the bed of his pick-up truck and beat the … Continue reading Quitting Time Booster Shot

Malakas Of The Week: Panicky Democrats

Let’s see: there was a loss in a special election with a slacker Democratic candidate and suddenly the sky is falling. Scott Brown isn’t the messiah, he’s not the next coming of anything: he’s a fluke who ran a good campaign that capitalized on angst over the recession on steroids. It’s time for Congressional Dems to learn from what happened and GET SOMETHING FUCKING ACCOMPLISHED and stop acting like malakas. If Congress continues to dither and delay it could be 1994 all over. What’s worse is that it’s completely unnecessary this time if they simply man and woman up and … Continue reading Malakas Of The Week: Panicky Democrats

The Show (Part I)

(Ed. Note: I found myself falling into the “Chasing Amy” philosophy with my writing this week. I finally had something personal to say. However, despite Ms. A’s protestations to the contrary, some things just ARE too long for the Internet. To that end, this is part one of at least two on something that took me about 30 years to get to write. I hope you enjoy it. – Doc) It’s 7 a.m. and several vans, trucks and SUVs crawl into the parking lot of a local exhibit hall.Grunting as they dismount from their steel steeds, the men can see … Continue reading The Show (Part I)

Treme: John Goodman Meets Ashley Morris

David Simon’s new HBO seriesTreme will be on the air quite soon. It’s, of course, set in post-K New Orleans and the combination of Simon’s involvement and the topic has created quite a buzz in Debrisville. John Goodman was recently added to the cast. Goodman’s character is loosely based on my late friend Ashley Morris whose picture is above. He’s a college professor who boosts his beloved city and dumps on those who shit on us. Sound familiar, Athenae and Scout? I, along with some other NOLA bloggers, learned about this some time ago but kept it under our hats … Continue reading Treme: John Goodman Meets Ashley Morris

RAAAAAAGE

YA THINK? Jesus, these fucking people. This is one of those days I wish I’d started writing about soap, or cereal, or anything but what fucking matters, because these fucking people do not get that it matters and watching them aggressively not figure it out is going to give me a stroke. Jesus Christ in a coconut-scented bubble bath, I hereby apologize for every action I’ve ever asked you to take, because if I’d known someday it would lead to us being THIS, I … fuck it, I still would have asked, but … GAH, you know? Doc once told … Continue reading RAAAAAAGE

It Wasn’t Like Falling Off the Edge of the Earth…

FromAlbum3 Sure, losing what you assume is a safe Senate seat sucks, but thereaction of some Tuesday night and yesterday made me, well, embarrassed to be a progressive. Now that reality’s hopefully set in, maybe the Dems can grow up and move on. Oh, this too. And…no, maybe it’s not “nice,” but part of me wishes that a few good sized union folks would go beat the shit out of James DeMint. He deserves it. Continue reading It Wasn’t Like Falling Off the Edge of the Earth…

What a dick

Scott Brown’s response to President Obama calling to congratulate him last night: “The first thing I said … would you like me to drive the truck down to Washington so you can see it?” It was clearly the verbal equivalent of grabbing his dick, and why shouldn’t he? He is, after all, the only American candidate in history to win a Senate seatAFTER his nude pictures were made public. Of course it was the same guy that giggled when a supporter screamed “Shove a curling iron up her butt” about Coakley, referencing an infamous rape case that Coakley screwed up … Continue reading What a dick

The Giggly Twerps on the Evening News

Mike: There’s a certain pornographic quality about this, these outsiders and their “journalistic” distance wallowing in the suffering of the poorest of the poor. I mean how can you watch a woman put her six-year-old son on a bus by himself in the hopes that somebody on the other end will be there to pick him up and stand by and do nothing, because it’s not your job to get involved, it’s just your job to record? That they can show this live around the world or put it on the radio or the Web instantly – but these folks … Continue reading The Giggly Twerps on the Evening News

Lyndon Johnson Would Cut All You Bitches

Dear Harry, and everybody who works for you: Republicans never had 59 Senate seats, and that did not stop them from passing the legislation they wanted. Trying to explain to the American people how, despite controlling everything, Democrats cannot do anything, because a mean minority of 41 Republican senators won’t let them, is a message that will go over like a lead balloon. If you try to use that excuse, people will think elected Democrats are liars, wimps, idiots, or an ineffectual combination of all three. And I KNOW, okay, about how hard it all is, and how the rules … Continue reading Lyndon Johnson Would Cut All You Bitches

Coakley 2010 = Dukakis 1988

In the summer of 1988 despite my reservations about him I felt a surge of ethnic pride when Michael Dukakis was nominated by the Democratic party. He left the convention with a huge lead and then went on vacation and then tended to state business. He thought he had it in the bag but when you’re a cold fish: it’s *never* in the bag. Meanwhile his weasley opponent went to work and wound up winning. In the winter of 2009, Martha Coakley won a smashing primary victory and then went on vacation with a huge lead in the polls. She … Continue reading Coakley 2010 = Dukakis 1988

Till I Rise No More: RIP Kate McGarrigle

Legendary Canadian folk music icon Kate McGarrigle, sister to Anna, mother to Rufus and Martha Wainwright, ex-wife of Loudon Wainwright, died of cancer Monday evening at the age of 63. From theMcGarrigle Sisters website: “Sadly our sweet Kate had to leave us last night. She departed in a haze of song and love surrounded by family and good friends. She is irreplaceable and we are broken-hearted. Til we meet again dear sister.” What awonderful musician she was, and what a life well-lived she had, full of beautiful music. http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x2mjyj Kate & Anna McGarrigle -Talk To Me of Mendocino Continue reading Till I Rise No More: RIP Kate McGarrigle

‘Progress-resistant cultural influences’

David Brooks, ladies and gentlemen: As Lawrence E. Harrison explained in his book “The Central Liberal Truth,” Haiti, like most of the world’s poorest nations, suffers from a complex web of progress-resistant cultural influences. There is the influence of the voodoo religion, which spreads the message that life is capricious and planning futile. There are high levels of social mistrust. Responsibility is often not internalized. Child-rearing practices often involve neglect in the early years and harsh retribution when kids hit 9 or 10. We’re all supposed to politely respect each other’s cultures. But some cultures are more progress-resistant than others, … Continue reading ‘Progress-resistant cultural influences’

Saintsmania Update: Men In Frocks

Saintsmania has reached new heights now that the team formerly known as the Aints will be hosting the NFC Championship game against the Minnesota Vikings. The front page of the Monday Picayune even featured a picture of Brett Favre labeledPublic Enemy No. One. It’s getting heated, folks. I expect all the cheeseheads out there to root for the Saints against their former hero and currentbete noir. Besides, y’all “like” the Vikings as much as we “like” the Atlanta Falcons aka, the Dirty Birds. It’s also getting mighty weird in NOLA. No, make that weirder. The late sportscaster and NOLA character, … Continue reading Saintsmania Update: Men In Frocks

Bible-Themed Gun Sights Will Fix Everything!

Just write some Bible verses on the gun sights! That’ll win the war! You know, I don’t have a problem with this shit just because it’s religious overreaching, actually, or inappropriate or against regulations or even that it’s deeply uncool. I have a problem with it because it’sineffective. There’s a surprising amount of Teh Jesus I’d be willing to put up with on consumer goods and in breakfast cereal and even in the courthouse if anybody could show me there was an ounce of a tradeoff worth decimating our civil liberties with crap like this. What does this DO, exactly? … Continue reading Bible-Themed Gun Sights Will Fix Everything!

Tom Friedman: Moron

I mean, like we didn’t know this, but it turns out he’s not just a moron about the things he writes about, he’s amoron about the medium which publishes his work: Friedman is now “pro some kind of pay model,” he says. “My own feeling is, we have to do anything we can to raise money,” he told me. “At some point we gotta charge for our product.” Dipshit, you ALREADY charge for your product. You charge for it and make a shit ton of money from it. You charge the readers of your PAPER, which apparently no one cares … Continue reading Tom Friedman: Moron

Living History

Firsts: In April 1961, Bolden was working as aSecret Service agent based in Chicago when President Kennedy arrived for a political event atMcCormick Place. Bolden was assigned to guard a restroom that had been cordoned off exclusively for the president. “My colleagues kidded me about having bathroom detail,” Bolden said. “Most agents liked to be shoulder to shoulder with the president. But as fate would have it, when the president arrived that morning, he had to use the washroom.” Bolden said the president stopped at the door of the restroom to ask Bolden if he was a Secret Service agent … Continue reading Living History

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – “Do not send Haitian help-moneys to Obama!!”‏ Edition

p>Good morning, everyone! I’m asking everyone to put these anti-bacterial long-johns on under their iso suits today, as the Freepers have hit a new low, and the concentrated evil is starting to eat through the containment drums. Double boots and gloves too, if you please. Ok – no sense putting this off any longer – here we go. You know, horrible disasters seem to bring out the best in everybody. Well, almost everybody. blockquote> DO NOT SEND HAITIAN HELP-MONEYS TO OBAMA ZenithMax ^ | Jan 14 | J. Grant Swank, Jr. Posted onThursday, January 14, 2010 9:53:04 AM byfreedomyes At … Continue reading Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – “Do not send Haitian help-moneys to Obama!!”‏ Edition

Meanwhile In The U.K.

It’s been ignored by the American MSM but there’s aserious investigation going on about British entry into the Iraq War. Tony Blair is, quite rightly, taking it in his dimpled chin. The latest shoe to drop involves the contents of a privateletter to the Prime Minister from his Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw: Jack Straw privately warned Tony Blair that an invasion ofIraq was legally dubious, questioned what such action would achieve, and challenged US claims about the threat from Saddam Hussein, it was revealed today . Straw, foreign secretary at the time, gave what now seems prophetic advice in a … Continue reading Meanwhile In The U.K.