Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome to the booster, where we understand that sometimes, all you need is balls…

– Let’s do some simple math: You’ve got 59 votes out of 100. You need half, plus one, to pass something. In what Bizzaro world does this equal failure? My theory: The Democrats are doing this so that Ted Kennedy will literally crawl out of his grave, slap the piss out of them and then call for a vote. It’s also probable they think Zombie Kennedy could then grab “Mr. June” by the crank, toss him in the bed of his pick-up truck and beat the piss out of him too.

– From the “You’re the NEW YORK EFFIN TIMES, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD” department: Read the headline and then read the first two paragraphs. If you aren’t shaking your head like a dog trying to get water out of its ears, either a) they fixed the head or b) I’m officially around the bend. (For the record, it said 42 states in the head when I read it. Pinky Swear…) Hire a damned copy editor, will ya?

– Had a kid in my 3-week media writing class pissing and moaning about an assignment I gave. She had to examine two articles for libel and determine which one was libelous and why. After about an hour of huffing and puffing, she turned to me and said, “We should just be judged on the quality of our writing in this class.” Based on how she writes, she’s lucky we don’t…

– Sad day for baseball asBobby Bragan died. He wrote an amazingly insightful book titled, “You can’t hit the ball with the bat on your shoulder.” He saw Jackie Robinson break the color barrier, managed at least a dozen Hall of Famers and gave us the greatest quote ever: “I didn’t put a curse on Cleveland when I was fired. They had Frank Lane. That was bad enough.” 

– From the “They make roads for a reason” file: This guy has got to be about the 9,328th guy this winter to drive a car, snowmobile or dump truck onto a semi-frozen body of water around here and then be completely stunned when the ice broke and they fell through. At least this guy survived. A couple guys died. Hey, Knievel, here’s a pretty good clue: If you can see the water moving, don’t go out there unless you’re a) wearing cork shoes or b) Jesus Christ and want to do the walk on water trick to impress the crowds. 

OW… OW… OWWWW! I guess all’s fair in love, war and groceries, but why does this sound like they’re simply calling this girl a fat chick with food anger? To wit:

“The roommates argued about groceries that Chapman had purchased. The
5-foot-2, 173-pound Sparks-Sanders then allegedly stuck her roommate
and knocked her to the ground, according to the police report.
Sparks-Sanders allegedly kicked Chapman’s face with the heels of her shoes, causing cuts to both of her eyes, the report said.”

– And finally from the “Of course this wasn’t going to be easy” department: Cavs lose Delonte West for at least a week with a broken finger after already losing Mo Williams for 6 weeks with sprained shoulder. Is it ever going to be our year? Maybe? Please? For the love of GOD and ALL THAT IS HOLY CAN I PLEASE HAVE A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE?

Sigh… OK. By the way… Go Saints this weekend. 

See you next week.

Doc

2 thoughts on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. The Other Sarah says:

    GEAUX SAINTS indeed!!!!!
    I read the comments on the story on the grocery fight. People in this country sicken me daily.
    Not just Limbaugh, either.

  2. pansypoo says:

    i want the democrats to have SPINES.

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