Monthly Archives: August 2012

Crack Van at 7:30 CST

CRACK VAN ALL THE COVERAGE.

Come yell at Chris Christie with me. I need a target for my anger at the moment and it’s just so lovely of the RNC to provide me with one.

A.

RNC Crack Van #1

Rules of the van: Share HAMS. If the van doesn’t load for you at first, don’t panic. Give it a while for the javascript to percolate. No violence. No violent jokes, no wishing violence upon people, no violence of any kind. Make room for n00bs and use the sound effects thoughtfully. 

Update: Van closed. Thanks to you all for being there. What a boring crapfest. Ann Romney tried to convince us Mitt was hot, Christie yelled at us about believing in an America of white immigrants from ye olden days, and Nikki Haley talked about how Boeing had to screw unions over, for freedom and government contracts, to be free of government.

Time for the Today Show to Get On the Case

I suppose they’ll be flying Matt Lauer in any day now. Interviews with the victims’ families and people who knew the gunmen from high school. Maybe some special graphics and a theme jingle. Surely this will warrant dumping whatever Pretty White Mother controversy is going on at the moment.I mean, it’s a mass shooting, after all.

The gulf between what we are told to accept as normal and what we are taught to think of as a crisis never fails to astound me in its size.

A.

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – Akin breakin heart edition

Well, so much for taking this week off – let’s dive in before I change my mind.

Akin Says He Has No Plans to Quit Missouri Senate Race

ABC News ^

| August 20, 2012
| Chris Good

Posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:24:53 PM by Blackyce

Akin said he has no plans to withdraw.

“I don’t know that I’m
the only person in public office who’s suffered from foot-in-mouth
disease here, and this was a very, very serious error. On the other
hand, there are so many good people in Missouri who nominated me, and
they understood my heart,” Akin said.

Akin said no Republicans have called him and asked him to withdraw from the race.

“No
one has called me and said, ‘Todd, I think you should drop out,'” Akin
said. “No one has said that. But I gather people are saying that in the
media, but they didn’t specifically call me and tell me that.”

****************

Anybody know his number?

1
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:24:56 PM
by Blackyce

To: Blackyce

Funny, Drudge currently has a story up that he just announced he’s dropping out? Which story is more recent?

3
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:28:56 PM
by apillar

Matt Drudge hasn’t gotten anything right since 1998 – are you still hanging out there?

To: Blackyce

What he meant was that fewer than one-tenth of one percent of abortions are the result of rape, but that’s not what he said.

This is exactly why Claire McCaskill ran “anti-Akin” ads in the
Republican primary dog-whistling Democrats to cross over and vote for
him.

Unfortunately for Claire he blew up sooner and more thoroughly than she had planned.

Akin will be gone and Brunner will be in his place by next weekend.

4
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:29:12 PM
by E. Pluribus Unum
(Government is the religion of the sociopath.)

There’s just two things wrong with your 11th-dimensional chess theory – you’re an idiot, and he’s still running.

To: Blackyce

He hasn’t got a snowball’s chance in hell of winning and he could
very well lose Missouri for Romney.Get him the hell out of there!!!!!!

6
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:29:31 PM
by Gay State Conservative
(The Word Is Out,Harry Reid’s Into Child Porn.Release All Your Photos,Harry!)

To: Blackyce

Don’t go away mad Akin, just go away. Your political career is over and it was of your own doing. Now scram!

8
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:31:21 PM
by PhxTM06

To: Blackyce

Aiken to be on Hannity after bottom of hour (3:30 EDT).

9
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:31:40 PM
by Will88

Popcorn
.

To: PhxTM06

He is digging another hole on Hannity right now. Gads…he is stumbling.

17
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:40:27 PM
by penelopesire
(TIME FOR A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR!)

To: penelopesire
Soros is probably pouring millions into his campaign right now to keep the imbecile in the race.

Soros has his minions donating to make it appear he has all this conservative support.

And FWIW, I just listened to him on Hannity. The guy is dumb as a
rock. “I am conservative. We need to get rid of Claire McCaskill. I am
conservative. We need to beat Claire McCaskill. Rinse repeat.

38
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:58:50 PM
by nhwingut
(Sarah Palin 12… No One Else)

To: Blackyce
I don’t give a damn that this guy said something politically
incorrect.
No, he said something shit-stupid.
If conservatives are not only willing to throw him under the
bus, but seem to take a certain amount of glee in doing it, then we are
already lost. Leftist thinking has won out.

Tellit to Limbaugh.

Leftists never apologize,
never give in, and they never tear down their own people in power no
matter how many mistakes they make. That is why they are winning.
Meanwhile, every time some Republican says “macaca”, “conservatives” are
all too eager to tear him down and cede the win to the leftists.

That’s because “macaca” is a racist slur.

Seems to me that there are quite a few conservatives, including
Freepers, with no heart at all. Resisting the tyranny of political
correctness is hard, and they are just looking for an excuse to enter
the warm embrace of submission. Oh, a Republican said something that the
media can misconstrue?

Misconstrue??
That’s never happened before! Let’s take this
opportunity to be every bit as petty and irrational as the lefties so
that we can look around at our leftist masters and say “See? I’m cool
too!”
24
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:43:24 PM
by fr_freak

BoxOfRocks
.
More inernecine warfare after the jump for joy.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , ,

Time for the Today Show to Get On the Case

I suppose they’ll be flying Matt Lauer in any day now. Interviews with the victims’ families and people who knew the gunmen from high school. Maybe some special graphics and a theme jingle. Surely this will warrant dumping whatever Pretty White Mother controversy is going on at the moment.I mean, it’s a mass shooting, after all.

The gulf between what we are told to accept as normal and what we are taught to think of as a crisis never fails to astound me in its size.

A.

Crack Van at 7:30 CST

CRACK VAN ALL THE COVERAGE.

Come yell at Chris Christie with me. I need a target for my anger at the moment and it’s just so lovely of the RNC to provide me with one.

A.

And now we wait

Dr. A and I have gotten all the provisions and shit we need to sit around and wait for Tropical Whatever Issac. We’ve battened down the proverbial hatches and are ready to wait. I’m considering inviting Cantore over but he’s probably too busy for idle chatter.

There’s been a bit less freaking out in New Orleans this time around. Mayor Landrieu has been prattling on about getting in “battle rhythm” whatever the hell that means. For someone who has never been in the military or worked for a huge corporation, Mitch is into jargon. Whatever, dude. At least he hasn’t freaked out and shit himself like Nagin did in 2008 when we waged the phony war against Hurricane Gustav.

The national media has made more of the Katrinaversary that we have locally. So it goes. It’s all the fuckers know about us, after all. Btw, I plan to post my annual moment of silence kinda post on 8/29 so be prepared. It may be my last one of the week because we expect to lose power and <shuddering> interweb service. So it goes. I’m feeling vaguely Vonnegutted today…<groan>

Okey dokey, time to sign off. Best wishes to Grandmere Mimi and Michael F who are also in Isaac’s erratic path. Good luck to everyone else as well. Here’s hoping that it will be a boring few days instead of harrowing. Here’s how *we* prepared for the storm:

295204_10151132262781797_1815289839_n

So Many Potential Sword Jokes

For some reason no one up until now has considered that Lancelot might be bi?

The first book in the series, June 2011’sLancelot And The Wolf, was rereleased for the Amazon Kindle, where it raced up the charts. However, a torrent of one-star reviews on Amazon.com first tipped off Mirador publishers that the issue may be more than a coincidence. The investigation that ensued revealed that all the reviews were posted in the same short time period and had similar anti-gay connotations, describing the series as “Twisted” “Perverted” and “Disgusting.” Not long afterwards similar hate emails began pouring into the publisher’s offices and to Luddington directly.

I think 90 percent of our sex problem is the need to put everybody in a box, and say you are straight, and you are gay, and we are friends, and we are In Love, and the most important thing is where you put your bits so that we know how to categorize you. I can’t tell you how many people argue that bisexuality doesn’t exist, like it’s just laziness or refusal to pick a side or something. What if there aren’t sides? What if it’s just love, either way?

I’ve actuallyread the original here, and I’m sorry, you tell me who Lancelot loved more. You tell me who Arthur loved more. The point is that they loved each other. Otherwise it’s just two guys waving their dicks around over a chick, and not a tragedy. Things like that are just a mess, and everybody involved would be far better off with a threesome than this CHOOSE ME OR HIM bullshit, and also who the hell on earth has a vested interest in keeping Lancelot straight anyway? Like what is the inherent win there for anybody except maybe Guinevere?

A.

Convention Crack Vans

I am NOT watching the RNC without y’all.

So here’s the schedule of the vans, beginning at 7:30 EST:

Monday, August 27, 2012 – PRIMETIME LINE UP

• Governor Nikki Haley (SC)
• Governor Mike Huckabee
• Governor Jeb Bush

Tuesday, August 28, 2012 – PRIMETIME LINE UP

• Mrs. Ann Romney
• Mrs. Luce Vela Fortuno, First Lady of Puerto Rico
• Governor Chris Christie (NJ)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012 – PRIMETIME LINE UP

• Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
• Governor Susana Martinez (NM)
• Vice presidential nominee Rep. Paul Ryan

Thursday, August 30, 2012 – PRIMETIME LINE UP

• U.S. Senator Marco Rubio
• Governor Mitt Romney

Come for the mockery, stay for the HAMZ.

(BTW, can somebody who can’t get into the van please e-mail me about what happens when you try? I’m trying to figure this out.)

A.

Tilly vs. The Sick

Yesterday when I went to pick up Tilly to put her back in the cage before Mr. A and I left the house, I noticed she was breathing hard. Like she’d just run five miles hard, which isn’t normal. I felt her little heartbeat pattering pretty fast, called our vet, and was told to bring her in right away.

By the end of the long, terrifying day we’d ruled out pretty much everything but some kind of heart condition, possibly one that had always been there and for whatever reason chose to manifest now. The vet is trying meds to see if they’ll help with her breathing and heart rate issues. She was stable when I left her for an overnight stay in the pet hospital, but time will tell in this case.

I hate it when the animals are sick. They can’t tell you what they need, where it hurts, what they might have eaten or done to cause it. I hate it when one of them isn’t here. Tilly’s tiny. She’s too little to leave this much empty space.

A.

You Do: The Newsroom Thread

Charlieleonafanficshutup

CALLED IT. JUST SAYING. 

Spoilers within. 

Would you all still love me if I just wrote it, already? I mean, come on, the two of them playing strip poker in some shithole in Southeast Asia, drunk on the cheap shit and thinking about their respective assignments? They’re just too grown-up and sad and Charlie loves her too much for that to have been anything but the way it happened. 

Continue reading

Run, Tilly, We Told Her. You See That Door, You Run.

Tillytillytilly
Tilly never tried to get into the kitchen. Or the living room. Or out of the office. Or out of the cage. If we wanted her in another room, we had to pick her up and take her there. Open doors held absolutely no interest for her. She was happy right where she was.

Was.

I still can’t believe … was.

Yesterday Tilly was breathing really hard, like she’d run a marathon, and I could feel her little heart pounding right through her rib cage. We rushed her to the vet. Having ferrets is living in terror of illness, because when ferrets get sick, it goes like this: Day one theyr’e fine. Day two they’re a little mopey. Day three they’re in critical condition.

The vet ruled out an intestinal blockage. He ruled out trauma, like falling or being stepped on. He ruled out a hernia. He ruled out a cold, the flu, pneumonia. She showed no indications of cancers. That was when I started to get really scared.

Heart conditions aren’t terribly common in ferrets Tilly’s age. She wasn’t even two.

But that was all we were left with. Fluid was building up in her chest and she couldn’t breathe. Her heart was enlarged, crushing down on her lungs. It might have been building for a while, and it hit a tipping point, they think. The vet gave her drugs to try to draw the fluids out. He tried to draw the fluid out with a syringe. He had to shave a patch of her beautiful coat. She had the softest fur I’ve ever felt on a ferret, like baby fluff. She shed like a cat. I was always covered in her no matter how much I lint-rolled myself.

She spent the night in an aquarium, with oxygen. When I left her yesterday she thought the tank was hilarious. She kept trying to nudge me through the glass. She kept batting at the little tube like it was a toy.

By morning the fun was over. Her breathing had gotten worse. She was gasping now even in the oxygen. She couldn’t find a comfortable place to sleep, kept turning over and over. Her kidneys were being compromised by the heart medications. There were options, the vet told me on the phone, so gently, but they’re all horrible. They could keep tapping her chest to draw out the fluid. They could say the hell with the kidneys and keep going with the meds. More invasive tests. Exploratory surgery.

I don’t know why this happened. She had had an exam at the vet just two months ago. There was nothing — no heart murmur, no lung problems — to indicate this was going to happen. She was starved when we got her, absolutely starved. It’s possible that weakened her heart and this was always there. She was always an exceptionally lazy pet. It’s possible this was congenital. It’s possible there was a tumor in there somewhere, undetected.

After we got her I spent three weeks hand-feeding her. She spent most of her time on my lap or in my arms or on the couch or in the bed. She loved being held. She loved being cuddled. She liked nothing more than to ride around in Mr. A’s sweatshirt pocket. I once watched Jerry Maguire twice in a row one Sunday because she was passed out on top of me and I couldn’t bear to move her. She was warm and soft and every once in a while would turn over and whack me in the nose with one of her paws.

She was so layabout it worried me sometimes, so I made a concerted effort to get her to exercise. She chased a feather thing on a stick and took a run at Claire’s catnip fish and even chased Bucky and Riot. We called her five-mile-an-hour-Tilly. She could work up a good head of steam, and when she’d try to turn a corner her legs would go out from under her and she’d skid like an ice skater before she righted herself.

Oh, how she made us laugh. Every day. Every day of the ten short months she was ours.

But she never did make for the door. Bucky and Riot and even Claire will dash for the kitchen if I go inside to get something. They’ll always go right for the opening I don’t want them to get through. Tilly, meanwhile, hung back, watching in amusement as they got reprimanded and carried out. She waited, letting me come and pick her up and put her back in the cage.

Seeing her breathing get harder, hearing that the meds they could give her would only break some other part of her tiny little body, knowing she was hurting and it wasn’t going to get any better if we waited a day or an hour, we held her while the vet gave her a sedative. We petted her and told her she was loved, and thanked her for loving us for as long as she could.

And we told her to ignore all her instincts. We told her there was a meadow beyond that door up ahead, and when she saw it open, she shouldn’t hang back. She shouldn’t wait.

Run, we told her. Run.

A.

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – Akin breakin heart edition

Well, so much for taking this week off – let’s dive in before I change my mind.

Akin Says He Has No Plans to Quit Missouri Senate Race

ABC News ^

| August 20, 2012
| Chris Good

Posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:24:53 PM byBlackyce

Akin said he has no plans to withdraw.

“I don’t know that I’m
the only person in public office who’s suffered from foot-in-mouth
disease here, and this was a very, very serious error. On the other
hand, there are so many good people in Missouri who nominated me, and
they understood my heart,” Akin said.

Akin said no Republicans have called him and asked him to withdraw from the race.

“No
one has called me and said, ‘Todd, I think you should drop out,'” Akin
said. “No one has said that. But I gather people are saying that in the
media, but they didn’t specifically call me and tell me that.”

****************

Anybody know his number?

1
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:24:56 PM
byBlackyce

To: Blackyce

Funny, Drudge currently has a story up that he just announced he’s dropping out? Which story is more recent?

3
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:28:56 PM
byapillar

Matt Drudge hasn’t gotten anything right since 1998 – are you still hanging out there?

To: Blackyce

What he meant was that fewer than one-tenth of one percent of abortions are the result of rape, but that’s not what he said.

This is exactly why Claire McCaskill ran “anti-Akin” ads in the
Republican primary dog-whistling Democrats to cross over and vote for
him.

Unfortunately for Claire he blew up sooner and more thoroughly than she had planned.

Akin will be gone and Brunner will be in his place by next weekend.

4
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:29:12 PM
byE. Pluribus Unum
(Government is the religion of the sociopath.)

There’s just two things wrong with your 11th-dimensional chess theory – you’re an idiot, and he’s still running.

To: Blackyce

He hasn’t got a snowball’s chance in hell of winning and he could
very well lose Missouri for Romney.Get him the hell out of there!!!!!!

6
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:29:31 PM
byGay State Conservative
(The Word Is Out,Harry Reid’s Into Child Porn.Release All Your Photos,Harry!)

To: Blackyce

Don’t go away mad Akin, just go away. Your political career is over and it was of your own doing. Now scram!

8
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:31:21 PM
byPhxTM06

To: Blackyce

Aiken to be on Hannity after bottom of hour (3:30 EDT).

9
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:31:40 PM
byWill88

Popcorn
.

To: PhxTM06

He is digging another hole on Hannity right now. Gads…he is stumbling.

17
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:40:27 PM
bypenelopesire
(TIME FOR A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR!)

To: penelopesire
Soros is probably pouring millions into his campaign right now to keep the imbecile in the race.

Soros has his minions donating to make it appear he has all this conservative support.

And FWIW, I just listened to him on Hannity. The guy is dumb as a
rock. “I am conservative. We need to get rid of Claire McCaskill. I am
conservative. We need to beat Claire McCaskill. Rinse repeat.

38
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:58:50 PM
bynhwingut
(Sarah Palin 12… No One Else)

To: Blackyce
I don’t give a damn that this guy said something politically
incorrect.
No, he said something shit-stupid.
If conservatives are not only willing to throw him under the
bus, but seem to take a certain amount of glee in doing it, then we are
already lost. Leftist thinking has won out.

Tellit to Limbaugh.

Leftists never apologize,
never give in, and they never tear down their own people in power no
matter how many mistakes they make. That is why they are winning.
Meanwhile, every time some Republican says “macaca”, “conservatives” are
all too eager to tear him down and cede the win to the leftists.

That’s because “macaca” is a racist slur.

Seems to me that there are quite a few conservatives, including
Freepers, with no heart at all. Resisting the tyranny of political
correctness is hard, and they are just looking for an excuse to enter
the warm embrace of submission. Oh, a Republican said something that the
media can misconstrue?

Misconstrue??
That’s never happened before! Let’s take this
opportunity to be every bit as petty and irrational as the lefties so
that we can look around at our leftist masters and say “See? I’m cool
too!”
24
posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 2:43:24 PM
byfr_freak

BoxOfRocks
.
More inernecine warfare after the jump for joy.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , ,

Weekend Question Thread

LET ME SEE YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

Where were you born?

Me, Racine, Wisconsin. GO PACKERS!

A.

Tilly vs. The Sick

Yesterday when I went to pick up Tilly to put her back in the cage before Mr. A and I left the house, I noticed she was breathing hard. Like she’d just run five miles hard, which isn’t normal. I felt her little heartbeat pattering pretty fast, called our vet, and was told to bring her in right away.

By the end of the long, terrifying day we’d ruled out pretty much everything but some kind of heart condition, possibly one that had always been there and for whatever reason chose to manifest now. The vet is trying meds to see if they’ll help with her breathing and heart rate issues. She was stable when I left her for an overnight stay in the pet hospital, but time will tell in this case.

I hate it when the animals are sick. They can’t tell you what they need, where it hurts, what they might have eaten or done to cause it. I hate it when one of them isn’t here. Tilly’s tiny. She’s too little to leave this much empty space.

A.

You Do: The Newsroom Thread

Charlieleonafanficshutup

CALLED IT. JUST SAYING. 

Spoilers within. 

Would you all still love me if I just wrote it, already? I mean, come on, the two of them playing strip poker in some shithole in Southeast Asia, drunk on the cheap shit and thinking about their respective assignments? They’re just too grown-up and sad and Charlie loves her too much for that to have been anything but the way it happened. 

Continue reading

APM: Desperate For Things To Suck

Listen to this, because just reading the transcript of the interview Kai Ryssdal conducts with Michael Grunwald, you really don’t get a sense of just how disconcerted Ryssdal is by the idea that Republicans might be totally wrong about the stimulus being a horrible socialism death bill. After all, Grunwald’s saying things like this:

Grunwald:It was called the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. Short-term recovery was a very important part of it — there was state aid for that, tax cuts, and a lot of aid to victims of the Great Recession. But there was also this long-term reinvestment part that people don’t understand. There was $90 billion for clean energy at a time that we were spending a few billion dollars a year. You know, the factories to make all that green stuff in the United States. You also had Race to the Top, which people know as this game-changing education reform, but they don’t know that it was part of the stimulus.

And Ryssdal just doesn’t understand, because Republicans hate this thing, and there must be some Republicans somewhere who are right about this, right? RIGHT??!1!!11

Ryssdal:You are — it is clear in this book — a fan of the stimulus bill. You think it was necessary and it did its job. I wonder, though, if there’s any sympathy on your part for the countervailing argument that piling on debt in an American economy that is already in recession is not, the Republicans would say, a good thing to do.

Grunwald replies that actually, no, Republicans’ views of the stimulus are just not grounded in reality in any way, and the sudden concern for the deficit is just adorable, after which Ryssdal pivots to another way Democrats could be at fault for making the stimulus the new Satan:

Ryssdal:How much blame does the president get for — if I could sort of paraphrase you here — screwing up the sales job on this thing?

How much blame does our national punditry get for making the stimulus the new Hitler, and leading with every single Republican argument on the subject? After all, here’s the real numbers on how many people “hate” the stimulus so much.

And here’s the partisan breakdown (same source):

2-23-12-13

Looking at those, it appears independents are now mostly “meh” on the whole thing, while Republicans dislike it and Democrats like it quite a lot. Seething rage and roiling discord over the stimulus, not so much. The country is not up in arms. The country is only up in arms, these days, about chicken.

Grunwald puts up admirably with this bullshit, and talks about ways the administration could have made its case harder and better, and I won’t disagree with any of that. I will, however, point out that once again America’s political journalism is speaking in the passive voice, as if people just formed these opinions independent of the coverage, and how the stimulus was reported (MUSLIM MARXISTS) had no effect on that whatsoever.

A.

Headline corrected per comments to reflect which news org is actually responsible for this crap.

Fuck Yeah, Iceland

And America in Iceland!

And of COURSE there’s an actual Fuck Yeah, Iceland Tumblr.

A.

Romney and the Birthers: Jokes are Funny

Listen. This isn’t a “joke,” USA Today:

Mitt Romney made a birth certificate joke today, prompting President Obama’s campaign to accuse him of lining up with the so-called “birther” movement.

During an appearance in his native Michigan today, Romney said: “No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate — they know that this was the place we were born and raised.”

That isn’t a joke. It’s a nasty crack designed to appeal to racist freakjobs, and nothing about it is funny. While I appreciate the reporting of this as though it’s important — it is — the word “joke” is an implication to let Romney off the hook because hee hee, just kidding lol!

A.

Neil Armstrong, R.I.P.

Neil Armstrong reflected the best of who we were, are and should be. He was a modest hero who didn’t trash talk, brag or spike the proverbial moon rock.He died yesterday at the age of 82 but he will always have the right stuff.