Category: LOL

Athenae, Congress, LOL3 Comments

‘Low Calibre American Lawmakers’

Allison Hantschel

Mark Kirk, sit down like you supposed to: “David Cameron must choose between two Conservative legacies,” thunders Senator Kirk, “that of Winston Churchill or that of Neville Chamberlain.” Really? At Munich 1938 Hitler was already embarked on his wars of conquest. He’d left the League of Nations, had occupied the Rhineland, annexed Austria, and was poised to invade Czechoslovakia. Iran has not invaded another country in the last 170 years and is not threatening to do so now. It as one of the original signatories of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty in 1968 and submits its nuclear facilities to international inspection. … Continue reading ‘Low Calibre American Lawmakers’

Athenae, Congress, LOL3 Comments

‘Low Calibre American Lawmakers’

Mark Kirk, sit down like you supposed to: “David Cameron must choose between two Conservative legacies,” thunders Senator Kirk, “that of Winston Churchill or that of Neville Chamberlain.” Really? At Munich 1938 Hitler was already embarked on his wars of conquest. He’d left the League of Nations, had occupied the Rhineland, annexed Austria, and was poised to invade Czechoslovakia. Iran has not invaded another country in the last 170 years and is not threatening to do so now. It as one of the original signatories of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty in 1968 and submits its nuclear facilities to international inspection. … Continue reading ‘Low Calibre American Lawmakers’

Adrastos, Album Cover Art, Art, LOL, Political Crack4 Comments

Album Cover Art Wednesday: I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus

Peter Adrastos Athas

The cover of the Firesign Theatre’s 1971 comedic tour de force (farce?)I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus isn’t my favorite among their LP covers. It is, however, the most thematically appropriate title for today as Republican bozos seem intent on driving the national bus off a cliff.How’s that for a metaphor, Ari Shapiro? Here’s the LP via the strange magic of YouTube: Continue reading Album Cover Art Wednesday: I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus

Adrastos, LOL, Political Crack4 Comments

Album Cover Art Wednesday: I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus

The cover ofthe Firesign Theatre’s 1971 comedic tour de force (farce?)I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus isn’t my favorite among their LP covers. It is, however, the most thematically appropriate title for today as Republican bozos seem intent on driving the national bus off a cliff.How’s that for a metaphor, Ari Shapiro? Here’s the LP via the strange magic of YouTube: Continue reading Album Cover Art Wednesday: I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus

Adrastos, Immoral Values, LOL, Marriage Equality, Political Crack, Sports, Television1 Comment

Who should we send to Sochi?

Peter Adrastos Athas

German President Joachim Gauk will not be gawking at the Sochi Olympics next year. Did I say gawking? A pun, a weak one admittedly, but a pun nonetheless. In reality, he will not be leading the German delegation to protest Putania’s human rights record and all of those creepy bare chested pictures of Vlad doing manly shit. Keep your shirt on, Vlad and I mean that literally… Nation states customarily send high ranking cats and kittens to wave the flag at the opening ceremonies. In 2012, FLOTUS led our delegation to woody old London. This time we should downgrade our … Continue reading Who should we send to Sochi?

Adrastos, Law/Justice, LOL, Malakatude7 Comments

Malaka Of The Week: William Blakely

Peter Adrastos Athas

Public malakatude is rarely as literal as this: Three women testified against former Mount Carmel Vice-Mayor William Blakely, graphically recounting times he exposed himself while driving. News Channel 11 had the only reporter in court for Thursday’s preliminary hearing in Kingsport. “I was scared that I was gonna wreck, he was gonna cause me to wreck,” witness Deborah Sturgill said. “It seems that every victim would tell the same story. But I knew all the victims did not know each other,” Kingsport Police Detective Terry Christian said. Personal accounts in Thursday’s testimonies started the same – Blakely allegedly waving to … Continue reading Malaka Of The Week: William Blakely

Adrastos, LOL, Sports1 Comment

Quote Of The Day: Obituary Edition

Peter Adrastos Athas

It comes from the obituary of a fanatical Cleveland Browns fan, Scott Ensminiger: A llifelong Cleveland Browns fan and season ticket holder, he also wrote a song each year and sent it to the Cleveland Browns as well as offering other advice on how to run the team.He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time. Mr. Ensminger also requested that people wear Browns gear to his funeral. That sounds familiar to me. I wore a Saints jersey when I was a pall bearer at Ashley Morris’ funeral and I was … Continue reading Quote Of The Day: Obituary Edition

Athenae, LOL5 Comments

Guys? I Am Becoming Concerned for Our Society

Allison Hantschel

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? It looks like the Wicked Witch of the West mated unwillingly with a Dunkin’ Donuts and then Willy Wonka designed some shoes for the offspring of that unholy union. I’m all for a funky pair of shoes (and some of the things this company makes are super cute), but at some point we need to stop what we’re doing and consider the legacy we leave for future generations. A. Continue reading Guys? I Am Becoming Concerned for Our Society

Adrastos, Food and Drink, LOL9 Comments

Paragraph Of The Day: Foodie Edition

Peter Adrastos Athas

It comes from a review of a London eatery by the Guardian’s Jay Rayner: There are many things I want from a restaurant; love is not one of them. I do not expect restaurants or their staff to love me, either in that Hallmark greeting-card sense or that moist adult way. Usually this is fine. I have a number of defining qualities; lovability has never been close to the top of the list. When eating in the US, however, nobody seems to notice. There, almost every chef and waiter will announce that the food being served has been prepared “with … Continue reading Paragraph Of The Day: Foodie Edition

Adrastos, Current Affairs, Law/Justice, LOL, Political Crack, Terrorism4 Comments

False Flag Puke Cornered In Cambridge

Peter Adrastos Athas

Remember the infowars malaka who asked Deval Patrick about guvmint complicityin the Boston Marathon bombing? He was in Cambridge recently where he ran into a guy who gave him the full Jude treatment and cussed his worthless ass out. Do not listen to this out loud at work or in front of impressionable chirren unless you want to expand their vocabulary, that is: Via All In with Chris Hayes. Continue reading False Flag Puke Cornered In Cambridge

Adrastos, LOL, Of Interest1 Comment

Louisiana Curses

Peter Adrastos Athas

This hasn’t got anything to do with American Horror Story:Coven or other witchy/voodooy curse nonsense but with a survey about w hich state curses the most. My current home state, Louisiana is number 4. Fuck yeah, fuckin’ A, Louisiana is also the fourth most courteous state according to this click bait driven (it worked with me obviously) survey. Thank you for moving out the fucking way. We’re the only motherfuckers to make both goddamn lists thank you very much. They’re not polite in Jersey? Who the fuck knew? Everyone… Here are some swell looking charts courtesy of Marcex; Continue reading Louisiana Curses

Adrastos, Law/Justice, LOL7 Comments

Malaka Of The Week: William Blakely

Public malakatude is rarely as literal as this: Three women testified against former Mount Carmel Vice-Mayor William Blakely, graphically recounting times he exposed himself while driving. News Channel 11 had the only reporter in court for Thursday’s preliminary hearing in Kingsport. “I was scared that I was gonna wreck, he was gonna cause me to wreck,” witness Deborah Sturgill said. “It seems that every victim would tell the same story. But I knew all the victims did not know each other,” Kingsport Police Detective Terry Christian said. Personal accounts in Thursday’s testimonies started the same – Blakely allegedly waving to … Continue reading Malaka Of The Week: William Blakely

Adrastos, Food and Drink, LOL, Stupid Republican Tricks2 Comments

Paragraph of the day

It comes from another hilarious piece by Salon’s Mary Elizabeth Williams, entitledGays hate apple pie: Let’s look at the evidence here regarding the homosexual relationship to pie. Anne Burrell does favorapple tarts over pies, and that does sound suspiciously French. And Art Smith’s Table 52 features pecan pie and chess pie, which seem pretty American but are obviously not Republican enough to keep America straight. But has Huelskamp seenCat Cora roll out a crust? I defy any heterosexual in America to surpass her technique. And Ted Allen did a wholeAll American, apple pie-themed episode of “Chopped”! In short, though I … Continue reading Paragraph of the day

Adrastos, Diary, LOL, Music

Red Smoke

If the Cult of the Red Beanie is looking for a preposterously unconventional candidate for the papacy, I’m available. I may be a pro-choice, pro-gay marriage atheist who was never a Catholic but I did costume as a Cardinal on Mardi Gras day in 2007: No, those are not nuns, they were the Krewe of Anna Nicole Smith, and if you insist on asking, I was not the daddy. Btw, I’d like my smoke signal to be red: Continue reading Red Smoke

Adrastos, Food and Drink, LOL, Stupid Republican Tricks2 Comments

Paragraph of the day

Peter Adrastos Athas

It comes from another hilarious piece by Salon’s Mary Elizabeth Williams, entitled Gays hate apple pie: Let’s look at the evidence here regarding the homosexual relationship to pie. Anne Burrell does favor apple tarts over pies, and that does sound suspiciously French. And Art Smith’s Table 52 features pecan pie and chess pie, which seem pretty American but are obviously not Republican enough to keep America straight. But has Huelskamp seen Cat Cora roll out a crust? I defy any heterosexual in America to surpass her technique. And Ted Allen did a whole All American, apple pie-themed episode of “Chopped”! … Continue reading Paragraph of the day

Athenae, LOL

Fuck Yeah France

Allison Hantschel

Nice. Translation: LeParisien (French newspaper) “The First baby of the year, in Auvergne, has two mommies!” AbbéGrosJean (Catholic Priest) “Dear Journalists, quick reminder of your biology classes, a baby can’t have two mothers, he has one mother and the mother has a partner”. Eric Fallourd (From the “Ecologie” (left) party in France, works at the Assembly): “When you believe a story where a virgin woman gives birth to God’s child, you’re not allowed to talk about biology classes.” A. Continue reading Fuck Yeah France

Athenae, LOL

Fuck Yeah France

Nice. Translation: LeParisien (French newspaper) “The First baby of the year, in Auvergne, has two mommies!” AbbéGrosJean (Catholic Priest) “Dear Journalists, quick reminder of your biology classes, a baby can’t have two mothers, he has one mother and the mother has a partner”. Eric Fallourd (From the “Ecologie” (left) party in France, works at the Assembly): “When you believe a story where a virgin woman gives birth to God’s child, you’re not allowed to talk about biology classes.” A. Continue reading Fuck Yeah France

Athenae, LOL, Pony, Bitches!, So Called Liberal Media, Stupid Republican Tricks13 Comments

Ride Glenn’s Bologna Pony

Allison Hantschel

And other family-friendly amusements at Glenn Beck’s new Rand-Land: Glenn believes that he can bring the heart and the spirit of Walt’s early Disneyland ideas into reality. Independence, USA wouldn’t be about rides and merchandise, but would be about community and freedom. The Marketplace would be a place where craftmen and artisan could open and run real small businesses and stores. The owners and tradesmen could hold apprenticeships and teach young people the skills and entrepreneurial spirit that has been lost in today’s entitlement state. [snip] Across the lake, there would be a church modelled after The Alamo which would … Continue reading Ride Glenn’s Bologna Pony

Adrastos, LOL5 Comments

The Lutheran Insulter

Peter Adrastos Athas

I’m preternaturally fond of old school insult comedians. I worship at the feet of Rickles and even remember Fat Jack E Leonard with distressing fondness. Insult comedians, however, tend to be Jewish but Martin Luther-you know the dude who nailed that list thing to the door of a church-was the original one. He may, in fact, be the only known German comedian of his era.<rim shot> Click on this LINK to get dissed. Here are a few choice samples of Luther’s career as a proto-Mr. Warmth: You stink like devilish filth flung into Germany. You are dumber than Seriphian frogs … Continue reading The Lutheran Insulter

Adrastos, LOL5 Comments

The Lutheran Insulter

I’m preternaturally fond of old school insult comedians. I worship at the feet of Rickles and even remember Fat Jack E Leonard with distressing fondness. Insult comedians, however, tend to be Jewish but Martin Luther-you know the dude who nailed that list thing to the door of a church-was the original one. He may, in fact, be the only known German comedian of his era.<rim shot> Click on this LINK to get dissed. Here are a few choice samples of Luther’s career as a proto-Mr. Warmth: You stink like devilish filth flung into Germany. You are dumber than Seriphian frogs … Continue reading The Lutheran Insulter

Athenae, LOL, Pony, Bitches!, So Called Liberal Media, Stupid Republican Tricks13 Comments

Ride Glenn’s Bologna Pony

And other family-friendly amusements atGlenn Beck’s new Rand-Land: Glenn believes that he can bring the heart and the spirit of Walt’s early Disneyland ideas into reality. Independence, USA wouldn’t be about rides and merchandise, but would be about community and freedom. The Marketplace would be a place where craftmen and artisan could open and run real small businesses and stores. The owners and tradesmen could hold apprenticeships and teach young people the skills and entrepreneurial spirit that has been lost in today’s entitlement state. [snip] Across the lake, there would be a church modelled after The Alamo which would act … Continue reading Ride Glenn’s Bologna Pony

Athenae, Immoral Values, Kids Today, LOL7 Comments

How Did You Learn to be a Homo in Your Day?

Allison Hantschel

Apparently they teach Kids Today in school now! “So, here you are, you’re an animal and you’re a god! So, what are we going to teach you about in school? Well, we can teach you about sex, we can teach you how to rebel to you[sic] parents, we can teach you how to be a homo! But we’re definitely not going to teach you about the word of God! Amen.” I’m furious. Not on my own behalf, although it might have been nice to get some lessons in before encountering actual gays in the wild. Mostly I’m furious on behalf … Continue reading How Did You Learn to be a Homo in Your Day?

Athenae, Immoral Values, Kids Today, LOL7 Comments

How Did You Learn to be a Homo in Your Day?

Apparently they teach Kids Today in school now! “So, here you are, you’re an animal and you’re a god! So, what are we going to teach you about in school? Well, we can teach you about sex, we can teach you how to rebel to you[sic] parents, we can teach you how to be a homo! But we’re definitely not going to teach you about the word of God! Amen.” I’m furious. Not on my own behalf, although it might have been nice to get some lessons in before encountering actual gays in the wild. Mostly I’m furious on behalf … Continue reading How Did You Learn to be a Homo in Your Day?