Ride Glenn’s Bologna Pony

And other family-friendly amusements at Glenn Beck’s new Rand-Land:

Glenn believes that he can bring the heart and the spirit of Walt’s early Disneyland ideas into reality. Independence, USA wouldn’t be about rides and merchandise, but would be about community and freedom. The Marketplace would be a place where craftmen and artisan could open and run real small businesses and stores. The owners and tradesmen could hold apprenticeships and teach young people the skills and entrepreneurial spirit that has been lost in today’s entitlement state.


Across the lake, there would be a church modelled after The Alamo which would act as a multi-denominational mission center. The town will also have a working ranch where visitors can learn how to farm and work the land.

Working this in reverse order, I don’t think people are prevented from setting up an agrarian Galt-paradise of their very own from a lack of knowledge about how to “work the land.” I think it has to do with how farming is a quick path to OMGBROKE.

Also, the church will be modelled after The Alamo? So Mexicans will invade it eventually? I’m okay with this.

ALSO I’m kind of having a hard time believing in the ability to build a whole new Galt’s Gulch theme park when Beck can’t even hire a copy editor for his own web site.

What rides would YOU like to see in this independent community paradise?


13 thoughts on “Ride Glenn’s Bologna Pony

  1. Even the Freeperati aren’t buying this one.
    The one and only comment on the FR thread for this amazing opportunity:
    To: MinorityRepublican
    I don’t see any armed drone defense on the whole map.
    2 posted on Monday, January 14, 2013 3:25:03 PM by jq2

  2. The Haunted House O’Liberals, for the kiddies.
    Generally, though, I don’t want to think about riding anything belonging to Glenn Beck.

  3. Why, oh, why does this venture sound like “Topeka” in A Boy and his Dog?
    I answer my own question: because it’s a Glenn Beck idea.

  4. Jim Bakker called his Heritage USA. They say patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels, but I suggest that religion may be the first.

  5. How about eat/drink at your own risk land, where we can sample the “joys” of “limited government:” e. coli tainted meat and vegetables, foul water, no drainage or sewer systems…add no FCC enforcing any order over the broadcast spectrum (i.e., anyone with a few hundred dollars worth of equipment can knock Glenn Beck right off the air).
    I’d love to see what tax breaks/concessions they’re trying to squeeze out of whatever community is foolhardy enough to take up his proposal…

  6. What rides would YOU like to see in this independent community paradise?
    Thorozine and a polo mallet comes to mind.

  7. I was going to scream ‘Parody’ till I saw the links to glennbeck and Mother Jones.
    A place where folks set up shops. Isn’t that called a strip mall? Or a flea market?

  8. “Dagny’s Railway to Nowhere”
    It leaves on time, but when the train gets to the end, they execute you for not being productive enough.

  9. I bet the Alamo will be multidenominational until a Muslim shows up. Or just the wrong kind of Christian.
    Honestly, if you want to go to an amusement park, build your own. Fucking parasites always trying to take advantage of other people’s work.

  10. Shouldn’t the lumpen proletariat be working, being productive, instead of soaking their noble employer for vacay time, to recreate in useless, parasitic groups?
    But, at least, Beck built in slave labor meaningful apprenticeship opportunities, for the kids…

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