Slightly–very slightly–shorter Tom Coburn: Give me a gas hog or give me death. And if I remember correctly, he’s the saner of Oklahoma’s two senators. (The Daily Show had more on this last night.) Continue reading Life, Liberty, & Burning Gasoline Like There’s No Tomorrow
The boys don’t mind taking baths, not too much, anyway. What they HATE is being damp afterward. They’ll fling themselves all over everything trying to dry off, and while it should be pathetic, it’s also, like most things involving ferrets, kind of hilarious: A. Continue reading Friday Ferretblogging: Bath Aftermath
Why do you persist in doing this stupid, useless crap, Republicans? Just … I just … *puts on voice used to tell ferrets to climb down off table and piano* LOOK. I see what you’re doing. I don’t approve. Nobody told you you could do that. Just cut it out. I have stuff to do today and none of it involves picking up after the mess you made by doing that idiotic thing I told you NOT TO DO NOW GET DOWN OFF THERE ALREADY. Yes, you. No, the other one who looks you like who’s doing what you’re doing. … Continue reading Cut it OUT
(Ed. Note: Tuesday marks the 50th anniversary of Harvey Haddix’s “Imperfect Masterpiece.” When I started this, I asked Athenae how long is too long. Her answer: “No such thing as too long on the Interwebs. If people don’t want to read that’s what the scroll button is for.” Well, we’re going to test that theory… I spent my whole career writing 8-inch stories on deadline. I always wanted to try something longer and I’ve loved this story for my whole life, so pardon the self-indulgence and if you get through it all, let me know what you think. Thanks. -Doc) … Continue reading The Imperfect Masterpiece Revisited
Glenn Beck wants to feel just like he did on Sept. 12, 2001. Persecuted, beset on all sides by people telling him he’s an idiot, and unable to dress himself properly. When you get PWNED by the View, the most superficial of our many superficial celebrity suckfests parading as “news” aimed at bored women in the daytime, it’s pretty much time to hang it up and go to bed. A. Continue reading ‘Our Coddled Lunatic Infotainers’
Little Dougie Feith, who is still insisting he made George W. Bush a perfectly good war and Bush fucked it up: This last problem may be on the way to being solved. In 2004, at the Pentagon’s urging, President George Bush created a new State Department office for civilian stabilization and reconstruction missions. He directed that office to create a Civilian Response Corps (CRC) so the president can mobilize trained civilian volunteers the way he already can mobilize volunteers for the military reserve. President Barack Obama is supporting this effort, and the Corps will receive $323 million if Congress approves … Continue reading People From Whom I Would Not Take Advice
This (I know it’s fake) came up on an Atrios thread a few months ago: • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a … Continue reading Go Forth And Conjugate
Mr. A sent this to me with a question: Why is it that people need to make Sherlock Holmes into the 19th Century’s Batman? Granted, Holmes had his disguises and his moments of derring-do but this looks like the Wild Wild West: I want this to be good because I’ve been starved of Sherlock Holmes on screen since forever, and because I love Robert Downey Jr. and think he’s not the worst actor they could have chosen. I’ve seen some actors who are physically unlike Holmes absolutely kill the part, like Frank Langella in the William Gillette adaption and this … Continue reading Trying REALLY Hard to Withhold Judgment
Ntodd is trying to get to Gaza. A. Continue reading Raising Money
Area transgender person crashes train:* Aiden Quinn used to be a woman. Now he’s a man. It’s a titillating detail — but is it news? Quinn, you’ll likely recall, is the 24-year-old subway driver from Attleboro who — moments after text-messaging his girlfriend on the evening of May 8 — crashed a Green Line train into another near the MBTA’s Government Center stop, injuring roughly 50 passengers and causing an estimated $9.6 million in damages. The accident dominated the Boston news for days and prompted the announcement, on May 13, of a no-cell-phones policy for the T’s drivers; it also … Continue reading Wait … What?
It’s a good speech, but I think this was my favorite part: The documents that we hold in this very hall – the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights –are not simply words written into aging parchment. They are the foundation of liberty and justice in this country, and a light that shines for all who seek freedom, fairness, equality and dignity in the world. I stand here today as someone whose own life was made possible by these documents. My father came to our shores in search of the promise that they offered. My mother made … Continue reading Meanwhile, We Haz A Preznit
Texts From Last Night: (805): i can totally tell he’s high. he’s having a conversation with my dog. (713): Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana. (570): She said I was really immature but whatever…oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over (513): so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup. (586): … Continue reading It’s The New Bash.org
He said: “When President Obama makes wise decisions,” Cheney will say, “he deserves our support. When he mischaracterizes the decisions we made, he deserves an answer.” “The responsibilities we carried belong to others now. And though I’m not here to speak for George W. Bush, I am certain that no one wishes the current administration more success in defending the country than we do. We understand the complexities of national security decisions. We understand the pressures that confront a president and his advisers…” “Right now there is considerable debate in this city about the measures our administration took to defend … Continue reading Cheney’s Speech
A. Yesterday, Pentagon spokesman Geoff Morrell: “I do not believe there are any plans under way in this building for some expected, but not articulated, anticipation that don’t ask-don’t tell will be repealed.” B. Today, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs: C. Last Thursday, The Daily Show: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart M – Th 11p / 10c Dan Choi Is Gay thedailyshow.com http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:227352 Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor Continue reading Which one make the most sense?
Go read this, and then, if your head doesn’t explode, come back and we’ll talk. Survived it? Great! Alrighty then. Mr. Zakaria, are you a health care professional? No? A scientist? No? A historian, maybe? No? Oh, right, you’re a journalist. I have a suggestion for you: do that journalism thing and do some research. You might want tostart here, in this very well done article about the 1918 Flu by Malcolm Gladwell that first appeared in the New Yorker in 1997. (Psst–I found it using teh Google!) Go down to theII–The Second Wave section and check that out. Aw, … Continue reading Crying Wolf
Michael Gerson is very concerned about the morale of the torturers: In a little over 100 days, the Obama administration and the Democratic Congress have delivered a series of blows to the pride and morale of the Central Intelligence Agency. Yes. They stood up to the KGB and got confessions out of real-life Nazis but Nancy Pelosi says one bad word and they’re crying too hard to see straight. Democrats declare that we maybe shouldn’t have tortured so much, and the people with the testicular fortitude to DO THE TORTURING suddenly can’t work up the will to get out of … Continue reading If Only Someone Would Defend the Spies
They can tell us apart (h/tPaddy) Continue reading Mockingbirds
He kicked cancer in the nuts and cancer said thank you, sir, may I have another? A. Continue reading Teddy K!
So much for Michael Steele’sargument thatgay marriage is bad for small businesses. Florists and wedding planners seem to be doing just fine: Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of the legalization of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts and a studyreleased to coincide with the anniversary says that the state has reaped an additional $111M in revenue from gay weddings. The average couple spends $7400 on their nuptials there and one in ten spends more than $20,000. “A second study by the same group found that young, highly educated people in same-sex relationships were 2.5 times more likely to move to Massachusetts after … Continue reading Make The Money, See
Kathleen Parker has, of late, been discovering that her fellow conservatives of the smug and sheltered suburban variety are kind of douchebags, and by the way the Christian Right is neither. To some that makes her more tolerable as a pundit, but today she’s back in her old form, defending Bybee and Yoo because, after all, they were just like defense attorneys: In the weeks sincePresident Barack Obama released the so-called “torture memos,” both men have been demonized and tried in the public square for expressing a now-unpopular legal opinion. Depending on the outcome of an investigation pending in the … Continue reading Kathleen Goes Dark
DearFundamentalist Christians, It’s time for you to decide who you are. Are you going to be the kind of people who supporttorture, prisoner abuse, andextraordinary rendition? Or are you going to be followers of Christ’s message? You know, the one that embraces the idea of agape, that believes in turning the other cheek, that believes that the peacemakers are blessed, that the meek shall inherit the earth. There’s the old adage that the Devil can quote scripture, as can those who further his agenda here on earth. If there was any doubt before, now we know that isabsolutely true. So … Continue reading Last Judgement
Good morning everyone – and my humble thanks to Ms. A for taking back what was rightfully hers before I got my hot little hands on it. And imagine my surprise to find my iso suit full of Styrofoam peanuts. What a bunch of kidders you are! Let’s get down to it, shall we?Starting off with:The teabaggers wanted Obama to take them seriously…and then… National Tea Party Leadership Team Accepts President Obama’s Invitation Parcbench.com ^ | Wednesday, April 30, 2009 Posted onWednesday, April 29, 2009 2:42:59 PM bykristinn New York, New York – April 29th, 2009 – The National Leadership … Continue reading Today on Tommy T’s Obsession With The Freeperati – back in the saddle edition
The Miami Herald: When is a matter a ‘scandal?’ What if it involves two adults doing nothing unlawful or offensive? Jim and Mary kissed on a beach, for example. Or Jim and Jim. What if Jim is an ordinary parish priest? His kissing on a beach is an indiscretion, and a violation of church law. But is it a “scandal’? You know where I am headed: What if Jim is a famous priest, is, in fact, Father Alberto Cutié? [snip] The photos, taken by avulture paparazzi, were never offered to The Herald, Executive Editor Anders Gyllenhaal told me. But he … Continue reading ‘No Bimbo’
The move went unnoticed and the bill passed 99-0.From the Times Picayune: BATON ROUGE — In a classic move of legislative subterfuge, a House member quietly slipped an amendment into an unrelated bill at the end of the House session Monday that puts Louisiana in position to accept federal stimulus dollars for jobless benefits, a policy that Gov. Bobby Jindal had made national headlines by vowing to oppose. Legislation had been offered this session to put Louisianas jobless claims system in a mode that would make the state eligible for the money, but Jindal and his allies bottled up the … Continue reading LA Legislator slipped in amendment to accept stimulus dollars which Jindal opposed
So much better than rebranding the GOP. ViaJacob. A. Continue reading Rebranding America
Steve: After all, Ken Davis hadthe audacity to write this in the aftermath of his event: “Eventually even the ‘information wants to be free’ crowd, a little greyer and sobered by mortgages and tuition bills, will come around to, and benefit from, a sane payment methodology. Some gentle advice for the smaller guys. Stand aside for a while and let the NYT, Washington Post and Tribune Company fight this battle. Eventually, son, this will all be yours.” Thanks for the pat on the head, Ken! First, informationdoes want to be free. Isn’t that what what we preach when we talk … Continue reading So Very Much Word
Obama is a SUN DEVIL: Ease up there, granny! The “Sun Devil” is the Hell Devil’s easy-going, beach-bum half-brother. He hangs out in surf shacks and dimly lit beach-front bars the world over. 4/5ths of Hawaii belongs to the Sun Devi’s “church,” so it’s only natural that Obama would not be put off by references to the church of his youth. The real question is why a school in the middle of a desert would adopt him as their mascot. A. Continue reading Today on Athenae’s Obsession with the Wonkette Comments
No wonder Bush seemed nuts.This was the shit he was seeing from the Secretary of Defense.This is why he seemed so out of it; there was CNN, which was the liberal media and not to be trusted, and then there was Rummy getting cute with MS Paint, which we all know was so much more truthy. You know, I was creeped the fuck out pretty much every day for the last eight years, but the stuff we’re gonna be hearing about for the rest of our lives seems on track to top it. A. Continue reading Batshittery
I don’t get this idea that if Pelosi knew about torture it makes torture okay.It doesn’t. It just makes Pelosi suck. You do not get a free pass if you knew about it and did nothing as a Democrat. You do not get a free pass if you knew about it and approved as a Republican. You do not get a free pass AT ALL. The stupid right-wing fuckmooks pushing this argument can’t comprehend that this isn’t a partisan issue to those of us who truly give a shit about the rule of law. If Pelosi knew about torture and … Continue reading So What?