Jerk Summit: When Vitter Met Christie

The 2015 Gret Stet gubernatorial (goober to me) race has been a pretty dull affair thus far. The only action has involved everyone making like Del Shannon and running away from Governor PBJ. In the immortal words of my old pal and fellow NOLA blogger relic (there are very few of us still at it) Mr. Gloomy Pants: Everybody hates Bobby. PBJ’s Louisiana poll ratings have plunged into the mid to upper-twenty percent range. So much for being a viable Presidential candidate. Speaking of unpopular Republican Governors with delusions of Presidential grandeur, Chris Christie  aka Gov. Asshole recently campaigned in Red Stick … Continue reading Jerk Summit: When Vitter Met Christie

Headline Of The Day: Josh Marshall Edition

The Louisiana lege is in session, desperately trying to divert attention from the destruction it and Gov PBJ hath wrought in the last 7 years. (Contemplating the wreckage makes me feel all Old Testamenty hence the hath.)And what do GOPers do when they’re in such a fix? Find a social issue hot button to mash down on via legislative resolution. Ain’t no hotter button right now than marriage equality, and while you’re at it, demand the two Jewish  female Supremes recuse themselves. Here’s Josh Marshall’s headline on a post linking to the TPM story linked to above about the whole mishigas: I decided to … Continue reading Headline Of The Day: Josh Marshall Edition

Decapitate Her Head Off?

Daft, but not daffy, Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson is back in the news. This time around we hear about his sick, twisted fantasies about a different OTHER, atheists: “I’ll make a bet with you,” Robertson said. “Two guys break into an atheist’s home. He has a little atheist wife and two little atheist daughters. Two guys break into his home and tie him up in a chair and gag him. And then they take his two daughters in front of him and rape both of them and then shoot them and they take his wife and then decapitate her head … Continue reading Decapitate Her Head Off?

You Learn Something New Every Day

The name Jindal is synonymous with bullshit here in Louisiana but until today I had no idea that Jindal Plast is a popular brand of terlet in India. So, both Jindals are linked to shit, only one is useful. I learned this from my friend Paul who took the picture below when he traveled to India: If only Gret Stet voters could just flush PBJ down the Jindal Plast terlet. Since he’s running at a whopping 1% in national GOP polls, it looks as if Iowa Gopers will give him a political swirly, and end his delusions of grandeur. I wish it … Continue reading You Learn Something New Every Day

Gang Of 47: The Dog Ate Our Homework

Remember the moronic letter sent to Iran by those wingnut Senators? Who am I kidding? Of course you do. Some of their aides are claiming that it was just a joke: Republican aides were taken aback by what they thought was a lighthearted attempt to signal to Iran and the public that Congress should have a role in the ongoing nuclear discussions. Two GOP aides separately described their letter as a “cheeky” reminder of the congressional branch’s prerogatives. “The administration has no sense of humor when it comes to how weakly they have been handling these negotiations,” said a top GOP Senate aide. … Continue reading Gang Of 47: The Dog Ate Our Homework

The Jindal Portrait Flap

There was a huge internet driven controversy yesterday that was started by this tweet sent out by an old friend and blogger comrade in arms: I’m not going to deal with the Jindal camp’s weasely-n-whiny response or go into the details of the portrait. I’d rather discuss *why* I find it so disturbing that Gov PBJ likes this poorly done portrait that doesn’t resemble him at all. The twitter people are having a hard time understanding why this reveals something significant about PBJ. There was a lot of chatter about “the issues, not the man.” That’s nonsense, they’re inseparable. I rarely talk about … Continue reading The Jindal Portrait Flap

PBJ Unbuckles The Bible Belt

Bobby Jindal’s deeply silly attempt to transform his image from dorky butt ugly technocrat to manly butt ugly culture warrior continues. He tried out a new-ish look at last weekend’s Hate Group Prayerpalooza in Red Stick. Note the cowboy boots, tight jeans and Garth Brooks type headset. The only thing missing is a ten gallon hat to complete his transformation into a Bollywood shitkicker.  But don’t call him that because he’s ashamed of his Indian heritage and/or doesn’t want to be a so-called “hyphenated American.” I don’t get it. There’s *nothing* wrong with being proud of your ethnic heritage. It’s the … Continue reading PBJ Unbuckles The Bible Belt

Odds & Sods: Catching Up Edition

the-who odds--sods

I’m way behind, so I’m going to offer some scattershot snark about stuff that happened last week. Scattershot snark is what I do best, after all.

PBJ’s Excellent Adventure: The pinhead who sporadically governs my state was in the news last week. PBJ has gotten to the point where he craves any publicity including bad publicity. It’s a good thing, that’s all he got.

First, he went to Europe, which is something Oval One wannabes do. It’s supposed to make them look statesmanlike but PBJ chose to follow in the path of Willard Mittbot Romney and make a total ass of himself.  He peddled the discredited, even at Fox News, line about Muslim no go zones in the UK and EU. PBJ went to woody old London hoping to meet with some senior Tory pols but they all hid in tube tunnels after he insisted on being the kookiest kook in cloud cuckoo land. That in a wingnut shell is his campaign strategy. I remember when he ran as a technocrat. Those days are long gone.

Second, he held what I call alternately PBJ’s Folly or Prayerpalooza at the Pete Maravich Assembly Center (PMAC) on the LSU campus in Red Stick. The characters invited to this zany event included  a preacher who claims the ability to raise the dead. That’s an alarming thought,  given overpopulation and all the damn fool wingers already running around the planet. Do we really want to resurrect Ronnie and Maggie?

You know a putative campaign is in deep shit and sinking fast when it has an event modeled after one thrown in 2011 by Former Texas Governor Oops. They also scheduled on the same day as Steve King’s Iowa clown show and the Koch Brothers public ass kissing event. PBJ’s people are both delusional and not ready for prime time, speaking of which:

There They Go Again: Why does the GOP keep trotting out its “rising stars” to answer the SOTU. I recall when they’d have their Congressional leaders or folks like Ronald Reagan do so. The list of embarrassments stretches back to Bobby Jindal being compared to Kenneth the Page on 30 Rock and included Marco Rubio’s infamous water bottle reach to cure his bad case of dry mouth. I think the hog castrating chick, Joni Ernst, topped them all. Bread bags on your feet? Really, Senator? I wonder bread if they carried it to extremes in even poorer areas: “We were so poor that we used hot dog bun bags as condoms.” It’s just as, uh, plausible and even sillier.

More catching up after the break.

Continue reading “Odds & Sods: Catching Up Edition”

Back By Popular Demand

Probably not, but a few people asked why I wasn’t blogging this week when so much funny shit was happening. It’s not down to Krewe Du Vieux even though that’s eaten my month. According to my ISP “another entity” cut the cable serving my house and other users. My money is on the New Orleans Sewerage and Water Board. There was a crew working way after dark Tuesday and they’re not known for their competence. I’ll be playing catch-up for a few days and then return to the Krewe Du Vieux bubble at the end of the week. I should post … Continue reading Back By Popular Demand

In The Bubble

I haven’t been writing as much of late because I have been immersed in preparing for the upcoming Krewe du Vieux parade, which occurs in a mere 12 days. I’ve been more involved in Spank business this year; doing what I do best: pulling strings, trading favors, and generally operating behind the scenes. I am glad, however, that the smoke filled room is a thing of the past. I don’t know about you but smoke gets in my eyes. Dr. A and I escaped the bubble to suburbia to have lunch, do some big box shopping and to finally see Unbroken. … Continue reading In The Bubble

Bobby Jindal: Historian

The Louisiana lege is in session, which is why it’s time for our erstwhile Governor to trot out his Presidential fever dreams to distract attention from his unpopularity at home. Wingnut attacks on President Obama have gotten so shrill that in order to attract attention, PBJ has trotted out a right wing whipping boy from the past, Yalta. Specious attacks against FDR’s deal making at Yalta with Stalin were a staple of the American right from 1945 to 1965, so PBJ has gone back to the future: Sixty-nine years after the American president traveled to the Crimean peninsula to capitulate … Continue reading Bobby Jindal: Historian

Plain Speaking

Plain Speaking was the title of a 1974 oral biography of Harry Truman by Merle Miler. It was based on interviews the author conducted with the former President for an unaired teevee special. It was a runaway best seller and had a lot to do with the rehabilitation of Truman’s reputation. He looked good in contrast to the rampant mendacity of LBJ and Tricky Dick. One thing, however, the book ran away from was an objective version of the truth. The flaw in the interview format is that Truman’s version of events was unchallenged even when it bore little resemblance to … Continue reading Plain Speaking

Tweet Of The Day: Gun Totin’ PBJ Edition

Bobby Jindal may be one of the most unpopular Governors in the country but he knows how to pander to the gun nutterazi: Little “Bobby” looks ridiculous in that picture but not as ridiculous as the caption. And that monogrammed windbreaker is from hunger. In the end, his campaign will only amount to a Magical Misery Tour: Since the Krewe of Spank met last night, I could not resist the Krewe du Vieux reference. It was the mother krewe’s theme in 2008. I suggested Spank do a political freak show theme this year with PBJ and Bitter Vitter as conjoined twins but the group … Continue reading Tweet Of The Day: Gun Totin’ PBJ Edition

Common Cored


There’s a lot of chatter about the Common Core education curriculum here in the Gret Stet of Louisiana. Governor PBJ was for it before he was against it. Sound familiar, sports fans?

Now that it’s unpopular on the planet Wingnuttia, PBJ has flip flopped and turned vehemently against Common Core. He’s now suing the Marxist Nazi Mau Mau administration as well as various state guvmint agencies, which are, of course, headed up by his own appointees. Btw,  I have no dog in this hunt, and do not have a strong opinion about Common Core other than my innate suspicion of and, distaste for, education “reformers.” Any time I hear the word reform, I check my wallet to make sure I haven’t been pickpocketed.

Jindal’s “change of heart” is driven, like everything else, by his pathological desire to be President. Right now, he’s borrowing a page from Flip Wilson’s and saying “the devil made me do it.” The devil is the President of the United States who is allegedly running roughshod over the states. This has caused PBJ to clutch his Barbara Bush Republican pearls and stomp off to Federal Court whilst holding his breath and turning blue. It’s a political tantrum for the ages, y’all.

Continue reading “Common Cored”

Tweet Of The Day: Uplifting PBJ Edition

Remember the Benham brothers? I barely do. Here’s how Dave Weigel described them: Earlier this year, twins/perfect specimens of humanity David and Jason Benham were supposed to be launching a new TV show. The brothers had been insanely successful in the real estate business, and HGTV was going to make them the stars of Flip It Forward, an inspirational show about the process. But the brothers were done in after People for the American Way’s Right Wing Watch dug up video and links of David protesting outside an abortion clinic, decrying the “tyrannical bondage of Islam,” and comparing those who would … Continue reading Tweet Of The Day: Uplifting PBJ Edition

Rudeness Is In

Remember when Americans respected the office of the Presidency even when one disagreed with the current occupant? It’s increasingly difficult to remember those bygone days with a Republican Party that has Ted Nugent on the campaign trail in Texas. I don’t expect civility from extremist yahoos like a washed-up loin-cloth wearing rocker such as the Nuge but I do expect it from my own Governor: The nation’s governors emerged from a meeting with President Barack Obama on Monday claiming harmony, only to immediately break into an on-camera partisan feud in front of the West Wing. Republican Gov. Bobby Jindal lashed … Continue reading Rudeness Is In


Governor PBJ stuck his finger in the air and decided to support the bearded bigot: Jindal issued a statement Thursday that suggested Robertson’s remarks should have been respected under the First Amendment and that they were less objectionable than the behavior of pop star Miley Cyrus. “Phil Robertson and his family are great citizens of the State of Louisiana. The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with. I don’t agree with quite a bit of stuff I read in magazine interviews or see on TV,” Jindal said. “In fact, come to think of it, … Continue reading Predictable

Too bad it’s not in Iowa

There’s a big ass sinkhole in rural Assumption Parish, which forced the evacuation of 150 homes some 7 months ago. The folks there have been asking Governor PBJ to come and have a look-see ever since. Jindal, of course, has been busy; first lauding Willard Mittbot Romney and the trashing him after he lost.the election.He has finally agreed to do his job and take a belated gander at the Bayou Corne sinkholenext week. Jindal has been like the damned elusive pimpernel when it comes to going anywhere in the Gret Stet. I make the, uh, assumption that there are two … Continue reading Too bad it’s not in Iowa

PBJ blows with the wind

Bobby JIndal is a human weather vane. He walks around with his index finger extended at all times to see if it’s time to change positions.The prevailing wind in the GOP right now seems to be gusting pragmatism: Republican governors’ leader Bobby Jindal turned on his party’s national leadership on Wednesday, calling on the GOP to suggest alternative ideas for healthcare and immigration reform rather than simply defining itself as the “party of no”. Amid signs of a growing backlash among Republican moderates since the failed government shutdown and the landslide re-election of centrist New Jersey governor Chris Christie, Jindal … Continue reading PBJ blows with the wind

PBJ’s Glass Jaw

Chris Christie took a shot at Bobby Jindal at the RNC shebang: “I am not going to come and call you the stupid party,” he said, according to NBC. “The election is over and we need to move on.” Some have interpreted that as a dig at Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R), who has said multiple times in the months following last year’s elections that the GOPmust stop being the “stupid party.” I’m glad to see that Governor Fuckhead went after PBJ. The latter does not take criticism well. It makes him petulant and whiny, which is something he has … Continue reading PBJ’s Glass Jaw

Jindal pitches a fit over law suit against big oil

Governor PBJ is stamping his feet and threatening to hold his breath until he turns blue if the mean old levee board doesn’t drop its suit against the oil industry: Gov. Bobby Jindal denounced the historic lawsuit against oil and gas companies filed Wednesday by a local levee board, saying the board overstepped its authority and calling the suit the work of trial lawyers looking for a “windfall” by blaming the industry for coastal erosion. Jindal, who appoints the members of the Southeast Louisiana Flood Protection Authority-East, said in a statement that he is demanding that the agency kill the … Continue reading Jindal pitches a fit over law suit against big oil

My Governor Is A Vapid Fool Revisited

Hot on the heels of a disastrous legislative session, Governor PBJ has decided to stop calling the GOP the “stupid party” and resume pandering to them shamelessly: Republican political correctness is all the rage, and it’s all roughly the same: we need to stop being conservative… we need to abandon our principles (at least the ones that don’t poll well)… we need to let the smart guys in Washington pick our candidates…we need big data and analytics so we can optimize… we need to be more libertarian…we need to endorse abortion…we need fewer debates…and the list goes on. The overall … Continue reading My Governor Is A Vapid Fool Revisited

My Governor Is A Vapid Fool

Governor PBJ has weighed in on the fake IRS “scandal:” “You cannot take the freedom of law-abiding Americans, whether you disagree with them or not, and keep your own freedom, When you do that, you go to jail.” The “scandal” involves tax exempt status, “Bobby.” Nobody lost their freedom, numb nuts. That is all. Continue reading My Governor Is A Vapid Fool

Louisiana Notes: PBJ’s Devious Game

It’s time to batten down the hatches and get ready for some bad policy making. That’s right, the Louisiana Lege is in session. Last week, Governor Jindal ostensibly gave up on his so-called “tax swap” proposal. It’s an exquisitely bad policy that would have eliminated the state’s rather negligible income tax in favor of a state sales tax of 6.25%. In Orleans Parish, that would have left us with a 11.25% sales tax. Everybody hated the idea so PBJ “parked” the proposal. I’ll let my old pal Mark (Oyster) Moseley extend the automotive analogy. He knows from cars, y’all: On … Continue reading Louisiana Notes: PBJ’s Devious Game

Deep Jindal Thought

I must admit that this post title is a genuine oxymoron. For a guy who wants the GOP to stop being the stupid party, PBJ spends most of his time swimming in the shallow end of the intellectual pool.Time to quote Dave Weigel quoting Politico quoting PBJ on the Voting Rights Act: “Unlike the Democratic Party, we’re not trying to divide the American people,” Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal said Monday when asked by POLITICO about the race-related and gay rights issues the court is tackling. “The reality is as Republicans we want to unify the country. … We don’t think … Continue reading Deep Jindal Thought

Worst Governor Ever

I was contemplating posting about my so-called Governor’s reverse Robin Hoodism (abolishing income and corporate taxes in favor of staggering sales taxes increases) but then I read my friend Lamar White’s recent PBJ post and decided to do a link and quote instead: He is, without any question, the single worst Governor in contemporary Louisiana history, and in lightning fast time, Bobby Jindal has destroyed institutions, services, and programs that had taken generations for us to build, shuffling our tax dollars from those most in need to those who have the most, lining the pockets of his campaign contributors with … Continue reading Worst Governor Ever

PBJ: Get Smart?

The GOP post-mortems are coming fast and furious. This unintentionally funny one comes from my rabidly ambitious erstwhile Governor, Bobby Jindal: Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on Monday called on Republicans to “stop being the stupid party” and make a concerted effort to reach a broader swath of voters with an inclusive economic message that pre-empts efforts to caricature the GOP as the party of the rich. In his first interview since his party’s electoral thumping last week, Jindal urged Republicans to both reject anti-intellectualism and embrace a populist-tinged reform approach that he said would mitigate what exit polls show was … Continue reading PBJ: Get Smart?

From the frying pan into the fire

Bobby Jindal has been substantively and stylistically a horrendous Governor. But it looks as if the Gret Stet’s Junior Senator, and noted whoremonger, David Vitter, wants to case the hookers in Red Stick in 2015. That’s a circuitous way of saying that the nasty little fucker wants to run for Governor. Just what we need: a Governor who’s wingnuttier and a bigger asshole than PBJ. Why do I think we’re going from the frying pan into the fire? The American Chemistry Council is paying for a vomitorious campaign style ad on statewide teevee telling us how awesome Bitter Vitter is. … Continue reading From the frying pan into the fire

On The Road With T-Paw and PBJ

T-Paw, Ohio Rep. Bob Whole Latta Love and PBJ.BLADE/DAVE ZAPOTOSKY President Obama is being stalked on his bus tour of the Buckeye and Keystone States by 2 potential Romney running mates: Tim Pawlenty and Bobby Jindal. I think the plan is to bore them into submission since T-Paw and PBJ are as boring as Mitt Offshore himself. They could, in fact, call their tour through Palookaville, the Snoozeville Express. When I heard about the Dullsville Express tour, for some reason I thought of Jack Kerouac’s beatnik opus On The Road. For some reason? Nah, that’s the way my feverish gray … Continue reading On The Road With T-Paw and PBJ

Veepstakes, low stakes

Last week when the Romney camp’s tax and Bain meltdown was building, Matt Drudge tried to help his pals in Mittland by posting a rumor about Condoleeza Rice as the Mittbot’s running mate. It was a pure D bullshit attempt to distract the MSM by dangling a bright and shiny bauble in front of them. It didn’t work because Condi is *so* unlikely to run for office, especially since she’s rumored to be moderate on most social issues, and because the Romney meltdown was so much more entertaining for all concerned. It, however, could have worked because the press loves … Continue reading Veepstakes, low stakes